Losing My Way
by MissTayllorBaby
Summary: After a messy break up, Rosalie finds herself running away to Florida to see her best friend only to find he's a very different person than she left 2 years ago.
1. Chapter 1

Emmett reached for his phone, wondering who'd actually be calling his house line… everyone called the cell phone because they knew it was the only way they really had a chance of catching him. He checked the Caller ID and totally didn't recognize the number. He set the phone back down, figuring it was probably some prank caller looking for a stupid laugh. Maybe it'd be fun to fuck with em.

"Hello?"

"I have a collect call for you, sir, are you willing to accept the charges?" a mellow-voiced operator asked him.

"A collect call.. what the…"

Before he could ever finish asking who the hell it was, he heard "EMMETT! IT'S ROSE! TAKE THE FUCKING CALL!"

"Rosalie? Yeah, I accept the charges…" he waited for the operator to hang up, and then asked, "Rose, what are you doing?"

"Calling you collect!" she said, obviously exasperated and a little something else he couldn't quite identify yet.

"From where?" he asked.

"A payphone."

"A payphone where?"

"Walmart."

"Why are you calling from Walmart?"

"Because Target doesn't have a payphone?"

"Target? Where the hell is that?"

"Like a mile from campus, next to the Ghetto, it's cool…"

"Damn… that's new…"

"Yeah, you'd know that if you came home more." Rosalie told him.

"I live in Tampa, Rose... this is home." he replied.

"No, you currently reside in Tampa, this is your home."

He sighed, "So, why are you calling me collect?"

There was a pause, and then she said, "Because I didn't know what else to do… and I couldn't grab my cell phone or my purse as I was running out of the house…"

"Why? What's wrong? Why are you running?"

"He was chasing me around the kitchen with a fucking mini meat clever thing!" she spat.

"He WHAT? Why the fuck was he doing that?"

"I told him I was breaking up with him and he had to move out."

"So he was chasing you around the kitchen with a big ass knife?" he asked, trying to process the rationale. Yes, being dumped sucked, but… damn.

"Yes…" she paused, sniffling. "He's a fucking accountant! He's supposed to be normal and boring!"

"Not so much, huh?" What else was he supposed to say to that, really? Mr. Let Me Crunch the Numbers turns out to be a psychopath… what do you do with that?

"It's not the first time he's been like that…" she whispered.

"Why the hell did you stay then?"

"Didn't know what else to do with myself? I have no idea…" she paused again and Emmett heard the full-on tears start. "I can't go back there, Emmett…"

"I know…" Before he really even had a chance to think it through he asked, "Why don't you come out here for a few days? Get away from, clear your head… that'll give him a chance to leave and you can just… chill."

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone, as if Rosalie were sorting out her options. Finally she said, "Yeah… that sounds good…"

"Alright, that's settled. Call me when you get here." Emmett said.

"Problem." Rosalie interjected.

"What's that?" he asked.

"I've got nothing with me. No cash, no credit cards, nothing… I can't even buy a plane ticket… and I'm not going back there with him tonight…"

"Just go to the airport, okay? I'll get you on the next flight out here. I'll have them page you with the flight info."

"Thanks…for everything."

"Just go, Rosalie. We'll talk when you get here." Emmett told her, trying to figure out who to call first when he got her off the phone.

"Yeah, see you later." She said, and hung up.

-:-

I ran my tongue across my lips as I sped down the road, pissed off when I could still taste blood. I had to do something… I wasn't about to go back home. Annoyed with Madison's stop-and-go traffic at this time of the day, I pulled off into the Walmart parking lot, maybe I'd wander around the store for a while, try to calm down. I glanced in the rearview mirror as I parked the car… god… I looked worse than I expected. Maybe I could duck in the bathroom and get the blood off my face before too many people saw me.

As I walked across the parking lot, trying to avoid making eye contact with a group of boys that were looking at me suspiciously, I saw the pay phone. Wow, I didn't realize places even HAD payphones anymore. But, then again, about the only non-mall place I shopped was the new the new Super Walmart... the place rocked my freaking world. No matter how much money you might have… there's nothing quite like a SuperWalmart.

I veered over to the phones, trying to swing my hair in front of my face and obscure the view of the blood trickling from my busted lip and the scratch above my eye. Fucker. I'd make him pay for that later. I picked up the phone, cringing at the idea of how much funk was probably on the receiver. Who was I going to call? All my friends around here would probably just tell me that every guy goes a little nuts sometimes, especially when you're trying to kick them out of your house. Sorry, not what I wanted to hear. I sighed, dialing the one person that I knew would be honest with me…or at least give me some male insight.

I hated calling collect, but I didn't really have any other options… and I figured my chances of catching him at home were ridiculously small. I told the operator the number when she picked up and held my breath.

I heard the connection and then the operator asked if he'd accept the charges for a collect call. "A collect call… what the…"

"EMMETT! IT'S ROSE! TAKE THE FUCKING CALL!" I yelled. I knew he'd take it when he knew it was me.

I was right, he did take it… I couldn't bring myself to tell him why I was calling right away. I was honestly a little worried I was going to start crying. I was scared and I was mad, but I'd kill myself trying to make sure no one else knew that. When he finally got me to say something, it was just anger he heard, I'm sure. I WAS pissed. I'd been chased around with a fucking knife and got clocked hard enough a few times I'm surprised I could see straight enough to drive. I left part of it out, of course, I didn't want Emmett to know how bad things were really. I surprised myself when I told him it wasn't the first time Riley had tried – and succeeded - to hurt me. He asked why I stayed… hell if I know. Well, part of me knew… because I didn't know what else TO do. I kept thinking, he's a fucking CPA – he's just got a bad temper sometimes.

No, he's got a bad temper ALL the time.

Math nerd accountant stereotypes be damned, Riley was a wild card. And I was in no mood or shape to deal with him any more tonight. I couldn't even stop the tears when they started then… I didn't care who was watching, either. It wasn't the first time Emmett heard me cry and it probably wasn't going to be the last.

Emmett suggested I come to Tampa. That's fine and good… but how the hell am I supposed to get there? I grabbed my keys off the counter as I was running out the door… I didn't have time to grab my purse or my cell phone. I was just glad the keys were accessible… and that Riley didn't follow me. Fucker probably thought I'd be stupid and come back. Wrong.

Emmett said he'd make travel arrangements for me… all I had to do was drive to the airport. I can do that. What else am I going to do right now? Florida, here I come.


	2. Chapter 2

I drove to the airport without even thinking about it… although the drive was really short enough it didn't require much thought… traffic is so much nicer when you're going the opposite direction of everyone else. I parked in 'long term' parking, I wasn't really planning on being gone 'long term' (what counted as long term anyway?) but I didn't know how they checked between the two lots. I never had made it into Walmart to wash my face, so as soon as I got into the airport, I dashed into the bathroom to clean myself up. I twisted my hair into a low bun at the base of my neck, tucking the ends back into it, hoping it'd stay back while I washed my face. A few places were already getting tender… I could tell I was going to have a few bruises. I wanted to scream as I looked at myself in the mirror – how could I have let him do this to me? There was a tiny, tiny part of me that figured I had the answer, but I wasn't going to acknowledge it, at least not yet. And it had nothing to do with Riley… it was all me.

I gingerly patted my face dry and headed out to the information desk, walking rapidly through the airport. Emmett had told me he'd have them page me with the info, but I had no idea how that would work exactly. I knew it wasn't going to be Emmett making the actual reservations, so I figured even if the info desk didn't have the actual info… it'd be the most logical place to start.

I walked up to the booth, interrupting a woman in the middle of eating a drippy sandwich. "Hi… I was wondering if I could find out if I've got a ticket waiting for me…"

"Your name?"

"Rosalie Hale…" I said, hoping they'd actually be in my name and I wouldn't have to play some guessing game over which combination of our names he might have dreamed up.

She looked around, like she knew she should have something. She reached for an envelope and handed it to me, complete with greasy fingerprints.

"Uh, thanks." I took the envelope and tore it open as I walked away. Nice, he'd managed to get the airline I liked best… and a flight that left in less than an hour … and a first class seat! Hell yeah! I'd so have to kiss him when I got to Tampa.  
I stepped off the train and waited through the insanely long lines to get through security and ambled down to my gate. Just getting there had taken long enough that I only had a few minutes to wait before I got to board. I've never understood why first class passengers get to board first... everyone else has to walk through first class, banging around their carry-on luggage, so there all the first class people are, dodging the bags and musical instruments and gift bags so they can keep their heads.

I walked onto the plane and took my seat - by the window, whether by request or coincidence, I was thankful for that. As the rest of the passengers lumbered through the cabin, I flipped through the safety brochures - being that I was going to be flying over land, the need to use my seat cushion as a flotation device seemed unlikely. I wished I'd have had money on me to buy a book at the airport, I had no idea what I was going to do through this flight without something to read.

The flight wasn't nearly as crowded as I would have expected and I actually had the row to myself. Okay, this was looking better all the time. I flipped up the arm rests and stretched out. Who needs to read? I'm sleeping my way to Florida.  
I sat back after a scowl from the flight attendent and began to wonder what was I going to do down there? I couldn't expect Emmett to really hang out and be my personal tour guide... I had no idea what he was doing and I wasn't going to interrupt it. If he had free-time, fantastic. If not, I guess I'll find someway to entertain myself. I could... shop. No one goes to Florida without shopping, right? That should keep me occupied for a day or two. Maybe by then I'd be ready to go home, feel strong enough to go back and kick Riley's ass all the way to the Dells.

Or maybe Lake Michigan.

I woke up, totally disoriented and more than a little surprised I hadn't fallen off the row of seats, as I had managed to slide rather close to dangling precariously off the edge. The flight attendent was tapping my shoulder, telling me I needed to sit in my seat, as we were getting ready to land.  
Damn, that was fast. I'd waited until the plane had taken off to officially get comfortable after the test-stretch while waiting to taxi down the runway.

I stepped off the plane, not having a clue what to expect. Was Emmett going to be here? He told me to call, I guess that meant at home... and collect again. Forward thinking has never been our strong point.  
I meandered around, laughing at tourists with their heads swivveling in a million different directions, and the obligatory businessmen engrossed in their PDA's and laptops. The sun shines awfully damn bright here.

I made another collect call and Emmett picked up, "Are you here?"

"Yeah, now what?"

"Just take a cab out here."

"Out where?" I asked, then listened as he gave me an address. Wow, I hope I remembered that. I hung up and headed for the door, trying to run and grab a cab before the address left my still-sleep-fuzzy brain.

I tried to take in everything around me on the way to Emmett's. It wasn't crazy city life, people were out here just aimlessly walking down the sun soaked streets, smiling as if the hardest part of their day was deciding what color bikini to wear. Just livin' the dream.

I could see my reflection in the window of the cab – what the hell were my dreams? I didn't know… and if I didn't know, no one else was going to be able to tell me. At one point, I'd been very sure of them, or well, at least one of two of them. But now… who knew? A few short hours ago I'd been berating myself for running away and now… I wondered if maybe this was what I needed. To get away, take a few days to step back and see who I was now.

As my thoughts began coming together, the cab stopped. I opened the door and told the driver I'd be right back, I had to get money. I slid out of the car and looked toward the house – it surprised me, but it didn't. It was one of the smaller ones on the street – Emmett maintained that he never did need much to keep him happy, and really, I knew that was true. I saw the door open, and he walked out, wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt, barefoot. He gave me a smile as he walked my way – I guess he'd been waiting for me and watching – and I was relieved. I didn't know it, but I'd needed to see him. I needed the familiarity, the comfort. He brushed past me to pay the cab driver and as the car drove off, he came back to me, wrapping his arms around me in a tight, reassuring hug.

"I'm glad you're here" he said quietly, squeezing me gently.

"So am I." I said, feeling so much better already. I guess he was just what I needed.

He took my hand and led me into the house. As he turned to lock the door behind him, he got his first good look at me in some light. "You look like hell, Rosalie."

I'd kind of forgotten about that, I probably did look terrible. I asked for a bathroom and he pointed me down the hall and I gasped as I got in front of a mirror. I DID look bad – the bruises I'd suspected had shown up – and he was right, I looked like I'd gotten the hell beaten out of me. Seeing the bruises made me suddenly aware of how much the rest of my body hurt. I guess I'd been ignoring it until something reminded me of it.

I saw his reflection in the mirror as he moved behind me and lightly put his hand on my arm to turn me around to face him. He reached for my face, his fingers gently moving over the bruises.

"You're going to have to explain this some time, but I'm not going to ask now." he said, his palm against my cheek.

I leaned into his touch, "I will… "

"I know… let's get you to bed, okay? Get some sleep… you're safe… we'll talk in the morning." he leaned into me, kissing my forehead.

I breathed an audible sigh of relief and contentment, and followed him into his room, changing into the t-shirt he tossed me and fell into bed.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up, blinking, confused about the dream I'd just had about Emmett. It was like it had been so real I could feel him, could even smell him. God, that made me miss him. I sat up in bed, suddenly aware the mattress I was laying on was definitely not my own. I looked around, disoriented. This was not my… OH, right…

Emmett.

Emmett's house.

Florida.

Sure. I know what's going on.

As I moved to roll out of bed, I noticed that just about every moment I made caused something in my body to react with pain. I walked slowly around the bedroom, taking things in, examining everything in the morning light. It was nice… a little messy, but that was Emmett. I went into the bathroom, searching for something to brush my teeth and wash my face with and was surprised by the amount of … crap he had in there. Pre-Florida he was a totally a low-maintenance kind of guy, sometimes even a no-maintenance kind of guy if he wasn't in the mood for showering for a couple of days. And now, while it wasn't A LOT of stuff, it was definitely more than I'd have ever expected him to have. I located toothpaste and ran his toothbrush under crazy hot water for a minute or two while I searched for a comb. Apparently he still didn't deem those worthy of his time. After my heat-treatment on the toothbrush I brushed my teeth and then rinsed it again while I washed my extremely tender face. I put his toothbrush back, wondering why I'd even really bothered to "sterilize" it … I'm sure we'd probably shared worse.

I had no idea where Emmett would be this early… I'd expected he'd still be asleep. But then again, I had no idea where he'd slept. He could have slipped in next to me some time during the night, but that still wouldn't have explained his absence when I woke up. I went meandering through the house and heard his voice coming from the general direction of the kitchen. He was sitting at the breakfast bar, talking on the phone. When he saw me, walked out of the room, whispered a few things, came back into the kitchen, and hung up. "Mornin'!" he said, unreasonably chipper and awake for being… him in the morning.

"Hello…" I replied, suspicious.

"Breakfast is served!" he told me, pointing to the table where he had a bottle of orange soda sitting out next to a package of beef jerky.

I squealed and ran over to the table – my favorite breakfast. Ridiculous, nutrition-free, and I LOVE it. I sat down and started nibbling on the jerky, "So, you deal better with mornings than you used to…"

"Yeah…" He said, putting the dishes he'd been using for his own breakfast into the dishwasher.

"Holy shit… he cleans up after himself now, too." I said to myself, amazed.

He came over to sit by me, "You okay this morning?"

"Yeah, just… dazed and confused." I told him.

"Crazy day yesterday, huh?"

"Yes, but I was referring to Emmett Version 2.0."

He laughed, "I guess some things have changed. A little."

"So, who were you whispering to on the phone?" I asked. I knew it had to be a girl, so, of course, I was going to tease him about it.

He mumbled something – one word, probably a name – that I totally did not catch.

"What was that? Your girlfriend?" I razzed.

"Yes, that was my girlfriend."

"Awwwww… you never told me you were dating anyone."

"It was just kind of casual until recently, but … god, I really like her…" he said, getting this far-off look in his eyes.

I wrinkled my nose, "Ewww. Don't get all mushy on me."

He snapped back from wherever he was. "You'd like her, I think."

"Okay." I shrugged. He was probably right, I probably WOULD like her. We shared a lot of friends, so our taste in other people's personalities was pretty similar.

"You'll have to meet her while you're here."

"Sure." I took a long drink of the soda, hoping this conversation would cease. I didn't know if I could deal with a starry-eyed Nick just now. "So, what are you doing today?"

"I've got a meeting in about an hour, I have to leave pretty soon." he said, giving me an apologetic smile. "Will you be okay here… or do you want to go out?"

"Um.. I have no idea where I'd go…and I look like shit." I replied, finishing off my breakfast.

"I can give you directions to… wherever… aaaaannnddd…" he drug out the last word as he disappeared down the hall, and came back with a handful of stuff. He set it on the table in front of me… about 3 different shades of concealer and some type of shit I couldn't even I identify.

My jaw dropped. "That's MAKEUP!"

He shrugged, "I live in a city of beautiful people now, I'm allowed to be vain."

"You. Own. Makeup." I just couldn't get my head around this concept. Emmett… owned… makeup. Mr. I-will-howl-about-anything-on-my-face owned make-up. God… if Tampa was going to do this to him… I had to get away from here soon, for fear of what it would do to me. I'd probably be considering breast implants by the end of the week.

"Do you want directions or not?" he asked, obviously ready to move on from the issue.

"I guess…" What the hell else was I going to do? It wasn't like I was going to spend my day snooping around his house or something. His stuff wasn't THAT interesting. Well, it wasn't before, but now, though…

I listen ams well as possible to the directions he's giving and try to take notes… I don't have a freakin' clue where I'm going, so it's just like, "Uh huh, sure, uh huh, right… yeah… okay…" I'll probably end up in Orlando. Or was it Fort Myers that came first?

He left a set of keys and a credit card on the table and told me to take whatever I needed and have a good day, he'd see me later in the afternoon. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, "We'll talk tonight, okay?"

I nodded and then watched him leave in a white convertible and wondered what he'd left me to drive. I went back to his room, looking for something I could wear. I found a pair of track pants that with the waist rolled over about six times might not slide completely off my ass. Then I slipped on a wifebeater, tying a knot at the small of my back to pull everything tight enough it didn't look like I was swimming in the shirt. I dabbed on some concealer, still amazed that he owned such a girly product, and determined I pretty much still looked like hell. I scrounged around until I found a pair of sunglasses I didn't hate and put them on, hoping maybe they'd cover the bruises and that I'd just be mistaken for one of the city's many Beautiful People wanting some privacy.

As I went to grab the plastic that would allow me to finance my day, I noticed how much I still liked the way I felt in his clothes. I always had and apparently, still did. It was safe… familiar… comfortable. Just like he was. Big enough to surround me, soft enough to soothe my pain.

I walked out to the garage, half pleased to see a BMW sedan waiting for me and half annoyed. Why'd he leave me the boring car? Whatever, it was wheels. I backed out onto the road, thinking he'd told me to go right, but then again it could have been left…

-:-

Seven hours later, I miraculously managed to end back up in Emmett's driveway, now thankful he'd given me the car with the backseat and the trunk. The white convertible was back, which meant he was, too, so I went into the house and summoned him to help me bring in my bags. I caught him on the phone again – and more whispering commenced – then he was walking back outside with me and marveling at the damage I'd done to his credit card.

"I see you're figuring this place out pretty quick," he said, chuckling as he grabbed a few bags.

"Yeah, I got a few pointers from the Queen of Ybor today." I said, rolling my eyes and clearing out the backseat.

"Queen of Ybor?" he asked.

"Yeah, red hair, permanent scowl on her face, probably a fire crotch..." I said, waiting for his reaction.

"What?" he yelped.

I laughed, "I saw her today…"

"And you talked to her?" He looked shocked or offended, maybe both.

"Yeah, I picked up a shirt she wanted… only I was holding it up to see if it was really as hideous as I thought it was from across the store, but it wasn't… it was worse. She asked if I was going to buy it and I said no, but I thought it was perfect for her. She bought it. And then told me a few places where I could find other great stuff." I told him.

I knew I should have beaned her over the head with something, or started a fight and blamed my bruises on her… THAT would have been hysterical. But still, I was at least marginally smug she now owned possibly the ugliest shirt I'd ever laid eyes on.

He was just staring at me, "You're serious?"

"About what? Her buying the shirt?"

"You didn't, like, throw things at her?" He had that appalled look again. I knew that while he may never say anything bad about her publicly, his hatred – like all his emotions- runs deep. And I'm sure he thought that because I was on his side, I should have done something in a display of support and retaliation.

"I know, I know, I should have… believe me, the thought crossed my mind." I assured him.

Yeah, it had crossed my mind. Not only did she try to make everyone think Emmett was something he was not… she'd taken him from me and that alone was an offense worthy of a beatdown. In all the time I'd known him, the only time we'd ever not spoken for any significant length of time was while he was with her. I hadn't liked her from the beginning and I'd told him about it, but he was smitten – for reasons I will never comprehend (and looking back, I don't think he has a clue either)- and didn't want to listen. But they broke up, we started talking again and everything was fine. Well, aside from now knowing he had a girlfriend he hadn't bothered to tell me about.

He frowned all the way back into the house and on the next trip out to the car.

I grabbed his arm, "I'm sorry, Emmett."

"It's okay… just still pisses me off sometimes."

"I know…" There were a lot of things I could have said there, but chose not to. I grabbed the last of the bags and said, "What's on for tonight? Pizza and a movie? A long discussion of my issues and failures?"

He cracked a little smile when I changed the subject, "Yeah, let's talk about you… and you can explain…" He paused like he was searching for the right words, and then gently touched my face, "… this."

I nodded. "Yeah, I gotta figure some things out… maybe you can help."

"Help? I don't know about that… BUT I can get you the best pizza on the strip and listen for a while."

"That works, too." I said, letting him fold me up in a hug as we got back into the house.


	4. Chapter 4

I let out a long burp and rubbed my stomach, that WAS awesome pizza.

Emmett laughed and clapped, "That's going to make you very popular with my friends…"

I flashed him a smile, "I've always been popular with your friends..."

"Yeah, I know…" he mumbled. "So… what about… you?"

"What about me?" I asked, reaching for my beer to finish it off.

"What's going on with you? You've got a lot of explaining to do." He gave me a look and settled back further into the couch, ready to listen.

I sighed. Where did I even begin with this? "What do you want to know?"

"Everything," he said, then added, "but you can start with why the hell you'd stay with someone who hits you."

I laughed a little, "I usually hit him back, and then we're fine."

"You what?"

"We fight, he takes a swing at me, I clock him, it's over." I told him, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"You hit him back?" he repeated, still unable to grasp the concept.

"Yeah, I haven't taken kickboxing all this time to stand around and take it… yesterday, though, I didn't expect the knife thing… " I sighed again. There was so much more to this story… the reason I was with Riley to begin with… I wasn't going to go there right now.

"No, you don't normally expect your… significant other… to pull a knife on you." He said, moving to rearrange himself on the couch and make room for me as I looked for a place to lay down.

I got comfortable beside him, immediately feeling more intimate and likely to open up to him, like the proximity of our bodies re-established our connection and drew me out of myself. "The first time… I actually hit him first and he hit back… I think it was more of a reaction than anything, but it just started something… we fight and we smack each other around."

He turned his head, still looking at me incredulously. "I don't get it."

I moved to be able to face him as I spoke. "He was… the polar opposite of everything… that I had before… you know?"

"Obviously," he said, shaking his head. "Were you happy with him? Like, until this happened?"

"No. We fought a lot and I was tired of him… I wanted out, wanted him to leave…" I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity. "You know I did a lot of things that were just… dumb… he seemed, like, safe, you know? He was a 'normal' guy, had a stable job… I thought he'd just be… different…"

"Sounds like he's different alright."

"I know, I know."

"You can do better," he told me, brushing his fingertips over my arm.

"I've DONE better…"

"Yep…"

"Everybody makes mistake, Mr. I-dated-Vic…"

He didn't even let me get the word out before he covered my mouth. I bit at his hand and he pulled it away, moving to poke me in the ribs. I shrieked and fell off the couch in my attempt to get away from him.

"Bastard!"

He smirked, "Sometimes."

I crawled back onto the couch and flopped on top of him, laughing when he groaned. I turned my head to look at him, "Thanks for this…"

"You're welcome… I wish you hadn't waited so long… I've missed you," he said, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah, I've missed you, too…" I had missed him. I'd missed him since he'd left Madison, since he'd left my everyday life.

After a moment of silence, he asked, "What now?"

"What do you mean, what now?"

"What are you going to do now? Just go back and hope he's gone… or what?"

Huge sigh. "I have no idea… about anything…"

He looked at me, "You sound confused… that's …not like you."

I let out a sarcastic chuckle. "That's JUST like me."

"What happened?"

"Hell if I know." I told him. "I was thinking on the way here from the airport… I have NO idea what I want anymore."

"Again… what happened?"

"Life? I don't know…" I said, shrugging. "I used to have everything under control, I thought, but I don't have a clue now."

"You mean because of Riley?"

I sat up, and moved to the opposite end of the couch, so I could look at him while we talked. "He was just, like, the last thing. My job bores me to tears now, I've got a psycho boyfriend… this is my life? This is what I ended up with? Things used to be so good… and then… now… they're not."

"Change things," he said, as if it were the simplest, most obvious solution.

"Yeah, let me get right on that." I replied.

"Why not?"

"How?" I asked, in a voice that was way more shrill than I intended.

"Leave him. Get a new job. Move."

"I'm okay with the first one… the second two… you got any ideas?"

"Sure… move out here," he suggested.

I shook my head. I couldn't see myself out here. I still couldn't see HIM out here or figure out why he'd want to stay … this wasn't his city, wasn't his kind of place. At least, I didn't think it was. But what did I know anymore?

"What else are you going to do?" he asked. "People come out here all the time to get away, to start over, to reinvent themselves… Why couldn't you?"

I just looked at him… because I had no idea what else to say.

-:-

"I was serious last night, Rosalie." Emmett informed me over another nutritious breakfast- this time cool ranch Doritos and sweet tea.

"About what?" I asked, between crunchy bites.

"Moving out here."

"Dude, I know where I came from… and I intend to go back, unlike some people…" I mumbled. "What the hell would I do out here?"

"I'm gonna have to leave in a couple months…someone needs to stay at the house…" he offered.

"What about your brothers?" I asked, having no clue what either of them were doing currently, and feeling really bad about it. "And what for this time?

"Edward's coming with me, we have to go to London for the new launch and Jasper won't want to hang out and house-sit."

"But I do?" I questioned. What the hell would I do out here, all the time, in this house, alone? I like the shopping out here, yes, but I can't exactly make a living out of it. And the beach is great, but I have a life back home. Sort of.

"You got any better ideas?" he asked, raising an eyebrow in that patented Cullen look.

"I'm going to go home, get him the hell out of my house and go back to work… and … figure things out from there. You've got plenty of friends who'd love to hold down your house for a while." I said.

"Yeah, I do have plenty of friends who'd be more than willing to house-sit.. and I don't trust any of them to do it." he said, half-chuckling and half-serious.

"Now whose fault is that?" I chided.

"You didn't seem to have many problems with my friends before…" he started.

"Once more, YOUR fault." I reminded him.

"Watch as I change the subject, he says", Emmett said, laughing.

I laughed, "Alright, what now?"

"Think about it, okay?"

I nodded, I'd give him at least that much. "Yeah, I'll think about it… but I gotta go home first, see what's… left… there."

"I know… but I DO like having you around…" he said, a playful smirk on his face.

"I guess it's kinda nice being with you again, too…" I giggled.

Yeah, I missed him. I'd never NOT missed him, but being close to him and spending time with him had reminded me just how much.

-:-

Emmett was in meetings for the day, so I decided to spend the day at the beach. I slipped on one of the bikini's I got on my shopping trip and a pair of shorts, then threw various beach items in to a tote and headed to Clearwater.

I always loved beach vacations, everything about it just made me happy. The calming power of the water, the perfect weather, the sand between my toes. I set down my little lounging chair with my bag next to it and removed my shorts before dropping down to bask in the Florida sun.

I took a look around at the other beach goers. A few younger people, but some older, too. I guess Clearwater was sort of retirement-oriented whereas Tampa was more youthful. There were a group of boys without shirts throwing around a football and I smiled, appreciating the view.

Pulling my sunglasses down over my eyes, I sighed. A girl could get used to this.

-:-

Two days later, after being jaunted around various points in Florida – a trip to Busch Gardens, a night out in Ybor, and more mysterious phone calls… I was headed back to the airport. This time, Emmett was driving me, though, gabbing away about the girlfriend I hadn't gotten to see (and whose name I still didn't know, annoyingly… but I wasn't going to ask, he'd tell me what he wanted me to know), as I inspected my still bruised face in the sun visor's mirror. At least they'd sort of faded…some… so they were just that sickly greenish-purple instead of actually black and blue.

"I'm sorry you didn't get to meet her… I would like for you to… I'd like to know what you think of her…" he said, glancing at me as he slowed down in traffic.

"Yeah… I would have liked to… maybe another time…" I said.

"Another time soon?" he asked.

"Possibly…" I was being intentionally vague… I couldn't say the thought of coming back hadn't crossed my mind. I didn't really know what exactly I was going back for… I mean… I had my house and my beloved car – oh god, if Riley fucked up my car, I'd kill him – and my job, which I honestly didn't care about…

"Like I said, think about it…call me." He pulled into the parking garage at the airport and went to get my (newly acquired) bags (of newly acquired clothes) from the trunk.

"You're not just gonna dump my ass off?" I asked, ambling alongside him.

"That wouldn't be very nice of me, would it?"

I shot him a glance, "What if someone sees us together?"

"Let's give them a thrill and see what kind of story they can come up with now…" he said, knowing just as well as I did what would be splashed across the inside pages of the tabloids.

'Living dangerously… I dig it." I said, taking one of my bags from him and throwing it over my shoulder.

I waited for my plane to start boarding, sitting on a chair sideways, my legs draped over Emmett's lap. "Thanks for everything…"

"You're welcome… you know I'll always do anything I can for you," he said, giving me a sweet smile.

I smiled back, no matter what happened, he'd never lose his touch at making my heart melt. "You gonna go see the girlfriend now?" I asked.

He nodded, "Yeah… I told her I'd see her tonight."

"Explain what's been going on?" I was curious what he'd been telling her the past few days, how honest he'd been.

"I told her a friend was in some trouble and was staying with me for a little while. That's what happened, right?"

I smiled again, "Yeah, that's what happened." I heard my boarding call and got up, waiting for him to stand up. I leaned into him to hug him, taking one last deep breath to remember the way he smelled, the way his arms felt around me, and remember that there was at least one guy on the planet who was good to me. He kissed my temple and told me goodbye, as I grabbed my carry-on (one of his backpacks that had been around the world several times over, packed with a Nintendo DS, a personal dvd player and a few other goodies he'd told me I couldn't travel without).

I headed off to the gate, sad that I was leaving him behind and totally dreading what I was going to find when I got off the plane at home. All of the worst-case scenarios spun through my head as I found my seat, sat through the safety lecture, and waited for the plane to taxi down the runway.

I looked out the window as we began climbing into the air, a little disappointed when I saw the palm trees and the gorgeous blue water disappearing below me and couldn't help but think… maybe I should have just stayed in Florida.


	5. Chapter 5

I stepped out into the chilly air, back in Madison and tried to remember where the hell I'd parked my car. Like Emmett, even on my best days I was scattered, and when I was stressed out… no chance in hell. I roamed up and down a few of the aisles in the lot before I gave up and hit the panic button on my keyless entry remote and waited for the alarm to sound. As soon as I'd located the general direction the noise was coming from, I went jogging off toward it as quickly as the luggage I was now dragging would allow, and turned the alarm off.

I threw the bags in the back of the car and unlocked the doors and slid into the driver's seat, immediately starting the car and rolling the windows down to let the steamy air out. I sat there for a little while, just dreading the idea of even going home and what I might find there.

So, I put off my arrival at home as long as possible. I drove through Culver's. I stopped at the Super Walmart and bought a bunch of puff paint and plain t shirts in all different colors, thinking I'd dedicate some time to creativity when I got home, I took the route with the longest stoplights. And then the curiosity began to take over and I finally started heading home.

I pulled into the driveway and held my breath as the garage door opened. His truck was there… but, thank god, so was my car. I was driving my car.. the other one, the silly little Miata, but MY car, the Santa Fe, more SUV than car, but whatever... was the car that I would have killed Riley over… and was still sitting in the third garage space, just where it was supposed to be, looking unharmed. I pulled into the garage and jumped out of the car and ran over to my baby.

After a careful inspection, I determined that she was still perfect. I was glad Riley at least had enough sense to keep his hands off my most prized possession. I smiled at my reflection in the glossy shine of the hand wax I'd done just last week. The Santa Fe itself was nothing special, not a collector's fantasy or anything… but it represented a time in my life that I'd have given anything to go back to.. and I was willing to do anything I could to preserve what I had left… the memories and that car.

Satisfied that everything was as it should be, at least out here, I grabbed my bags and headed into the house. I surveyed the kitchen as I walked in… everything looked considerably better than it had when I'd left it. Part of me wanted to be surprised he was dumb enough to still be here, but at the same time… I wasn't honestly shocked at all. He'd proven himself to be completely ridiculous over and over.

I couldn't hear anything, so I couldn't figure out where he was. I half-expected him to appear out of nowhere and try to take me down/out. My eyes flickered over to where the knives were kept… Were. Past tense. Where the fuck did he put the knives? I growled to myself and dropped my bags. Might as well get this showdown over with.

I'd barely made it out of the kitchen when he came to me. Looking at him just then, I wondered what it was that had ever made me find him attractive.

"I knew you'd come back." He said, smirking.

"It's MY house, Dickfuck. Of course, I came back!" I shouted at him.

He scoffed, "You always come back for more."

I shook my head, I was so not going there with him. "And you never seem to learn, every time I come back, YOUR ass gets kicked. You whine like a little bitch, beg forgiveness and we move on. Not anymore. It's over. Get. Out."

He just looked at me, like he was trying to formulate a comeback, but couldn't quite do it.

"I mean it, Riley, leave."

"You don't really want me gone."

I sighed. He just had to be a jackass. "No, I really do…" I replied, reaching for the phone. I dialed 911, but didn't hit send yet, just waiting on him.

"Where'd you go, anyway?" he asked, as if pretending to be interested would postpone the inevitable.

I considered for a moment, where I'd been, who I'd been with… how it had felt to be there, with him. "I went home." I answered. Before I could allow myself to be wistful, I said, again, "Riley, get out of here. Seriously."

"Are you going to make me leave?" he asked, tilting his head and cocking his eyebrow.

"Yep."

"Bring it on." He smirked again, obviously not thinking I'd really do anything.

"No problem." I hit 'send' and waited until I heard "911, what's your emergency?" and then I started screaming.

-:-

I waved to the police car as it drove off, Riley in the back. I turned to Charlie, standing beside me on the sidewalk. I was glad he was one of the cops who'd responded to the call… he was my friend and I knew he'd be glad to take Riley in.

"You okay?" he asked, glancing over me.

I looked down at my clothes – ripped and hanging off me, splattered with blood – and laughed a little, "I'm better now that's he's gone."

"He won't come back, I promise. I'll help you get his stuff out of here if you need me, too." he offered.

I smiled, "Thanks, Charlie, but I'll be okay…"

"Alright, call me if you need me." He gave me a little smile as he retreated to his squad car.

I went back into the house, pulling off my clothes. I knew I was a mess again… I knew as soon as I made the call that Riley would go nuts… which meant I'd look exactly as bad as I needed to when the cops arrived. The bruises from the last round, plus the fresh ones from this tussle –ensured that I wasn't going to have to deal with Riley anymore. Charlie and his boys had seen what they needed… poor wounded me trying to get away from evil, violent Riley. It was sneaky and a little underhanded, but it worked. I wouldn't press charges, so he wouldn't have to go to trial or do jail time, but he didn't need to know that yet. I'd let him sweat it for a few days until someone bailed him out. But now, he wasn't my problem.

I stepped into the shower, considering what to do next. I wanted his stuff gone, immediately, if not sooner. Part of me thought I should just move my stuff out and then sell the house as-is, complete with all his junk in it. But that seemed really unfair to whoever would buy the house and then have to deal with him when he found out what I'd done. Whatever, I could decide on that later.

I finished in the shower and went to find my phone, retrieving my voicemails to see what I'd missed in the few days it was gone. There was one from Riley that made me laugh – he didn't realize he was calling the phone that was on my nightstand the whole time? He'd probably made the call from in the bedroom and couldn't figure out where the ringing noise was coming from. One call from my mom, three calls from Jessica wanting to know where I was and why I hadn't called her about going shopping.

I deleted my messages and sat down on the bed, a little bummed out. I could disappear and two people would notice I was gone. Depressing. I flopped back into my pillows, sighing. I'd make the calls later.

-:-

I woke up the next morning, a little confused again. I was naked except for the towel wrapped around me. I'd obviously crashed right out of the shower. Guess last night's fiasco took more out of me than I realized.

I grabbed the phone and dialed Jessica while I poked around the kitchen for something to have for… I glanced at the clock… okay, brunch. Jessica picked up just as I was determining I had to go grocery shopping. I pulled a package of ramen noodles out of the pantry and dumped them into a pot, listening to her rambling on the other end, since she'd started talking without even letting me say 'hello'.

"OHMYGAWDWHEREHAVEYOUBEEN? You promised you'd go with me! And then you leave! And I totally kept calling you… I called Riley who said you just left and then I was talking to Renee this morning who said Charlie was at your place last night, whatthefuckisgoingon?" She finally paused for a breath, giving me a chance to talk.

"Hello to you, too, Jessica… and which part of that do you want me to cover first?"

"Why weren't you here to go shopping with me?" she demanded.

I sighed, amazed at the level of self-absorption she achieved sometimes. She knows there were cops at my house last night and she's most concerned with why I wasn't standing in line with her when the doors opened at International Plaza for the newest offerings at Gucci or Louis Vuitton. "I was out of town."

"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?"

"It was kind of… spontaneous." I said.

"You knew we had plans!"

"Oh for the love of God, Jessica! I know you were up there anyway without me, what difference does it make?" I was tired of this, tired of her.

"You're my shopping buddy!" she replied in a much softer, friendlier tone, like she knew was getting on my last nerve.

"Right. But I'm sure you did just fine on your own."

"I don't know… I totally couldn't decide between the pony hair and the crocodile… I still don't know if I made the right call…"

I cut her off before she could launch a debate about them. "They're HANDBAGS, Jessica. Purses! Just places to put your shit! If you don't like the one, go buy the other one." I snapped. Damn, I was wound tight.

"Jeeeezus, Rosalie. What IS your deal? Ohmygod, does this have anything to do with Charlie being at your house last night? Leah said she totally heard you screaming on the dispatch radio at their place. Is Riley okay?"

I held the phone away from my ear and just stared at it. Was she serious? "You have got to be fucking kidding me…"

"What?"

"She says she hears ME screaming and you ask if Riley is okay? He fucking got taken off to jail! I don't care if he's okay or not!"

"Jail? Why?" She had the conspiratorial tone to her voice, I knew everything I said was going to make it through the gossip circuit as soon as we hung up.

"I broke up with him. He didn't take it well."

"You broke up with him? But he's hot!"

I stared at the phone again, not saying anything. Was this really my 'best friend'? Why was that again? It hadn't always been like this… I'd had good friends, good relationships… It was like my whole life had fallen apart… or well, at least taken one hell of a nosedive into the abyss… and it all went back to the same … what was that? An event?

"Hello? Rose?"

I heard Jessica calling me through the phone. "Yeah, what?"

"So where'd you go?"

I don't know if it was a conscious change-of-subject, like she realized she'd said the wrong thing and wanted to move away from it or if her only-able-to-process-so-much-at-once brain had already switched gears. "I went to Florida."

"YOU WENT TO FLORIDA WITHOUT ME?" she was shrieking again.

"I said it was spontaneous, Jessica. I didn't plan it. I just called someone and went. I had to get away from here for a while." I muttered.

"Who'd you go see? I didn't even know you had friends in Florida…"

"I stayed with Emmett." I told her, instantly regretting it.

"Emmett? Like… EMMETT-Emmett?"

"Yes, him." Exasperated sigh on my part.

"Was that… a good idea?"

Yes, it was. Probably the best idea I'd had in years. "It was fine, Jessica."

"It wasn't weird?"

"No, it wasn't weird at all." It'd been good for me. It'd been…too short.

"Oh, well, um, that's… cool."

"Yeah, it was cool. It was great, in fact, I'm going back." As soon as I said it, I knew it was true. I was going to. I was going back to Tampa.

"You're going back? To Florida? With Emmett?" I could hear the jitter in her voice, like the information was almost too good to be real and she was just dying to tell everyone else.

"No, not WITH him. He's leaving town for a while… and I'm just… leaving here for a while. It has nothing to do with him."

Mostly a lie… it basically had everything to do with him.

-:-

"Really? Awesome!" Emmett shrieked.

I smiled, I was glad to hear the honest enthusiasm in his voice. As soon as I'd gotten off the phone with Jessica, I'd called him. I'd caught him out somewhere with some of his friends… I'd called his cell this time, like everyone else. He still picked up, though, listened as I told him I'd done some thinking and decided he was right, I needed something new. I was coming to Tampa. "It better be awesome… otherwise I'll be totally pissed at you!" I joked.

"I'll call you later, okay? We'll figure things out…"

"Yeah… go have fun with your boys… prepare them for my arrival… "I cackled.

"Oh hell no!" He hung up on me, but I could hear him laughing.

I dropped the phone on the couch, feeling lighter… happier. I knew had a lot to take care of here, a lot of decisions to make. Was it just an extended visit? Doing a friend a favor? Or was I giving up my life… again? How much DID Emmett really have to do with it, I wondered. Was this for him… or for me?

I almost skipped over to my computer, playing my iTunes on shuffle, and grabbing my stuff for t shirt making. I was going to need superior concentration so I popped an Adderall, grabbed my last root beer out of the fridge, singing along as Tom Petty's voice came through my speakers.

"Well she was an American girl, raised on promises. She couldn't help thinkin' that there was a little more life, somewhere else… After all it was a great big world, with lots of places to run to…"


	6. Chapter 6

I got up to look at the caller ID on my cell phone, hoping it might actually be someone different this time. Only three people had called me since I'd been back in Florida – my mom, my dad… and Riley.

As soon as I saw the number, I screamed. It was Riley. Again. "This is fucking ridiculous!"

Emmett jumped up and grabbed the phone from me, flipping it open. "Listen, bitch… It's OVER, get it through your fucking head. She doesn't want you anymore. Stop calling. Stop trying. And if you even so much as THINK about being near her again … or hurting her… I will steal away in to the night and I will FUCK. YOU. UP." He flipped the phone shut and handed it back to me, smiling. "We'll see how he likes that."

My mouth was just hanging open as I took the phone. That was just hot. Emmett had always been fiercely protective of the people he cared about, and I guess it just made me feel good to know I was still so much in his favor. I turned my phone off completely and dropped it in my purse. I flopped back down on the couch next to Emmett and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

He reached over and took my hand and held it. "No problem. I'm still just glad you're here with me and not there, having to deal with him."

I slid over to put my head on his shoulder, I was glad I was here, too… being on the opposite side of the country from Riley, and getting to spend time with Emmett… this was the only place I really wanted to be. I knew Riley was pissed, I knew why he kept calling… I'd have been mad as hell, too, if I was him. Emmett slouched some, and tilted his head so it was resting on mine. We were comfortable together.

"Are you ever going to tell me why he keeps calling?" he asked after a few moments of silence.

I'd been back with him for almost a week, and he'd been patient, not asking too many questions, just letting me tell him what I wanted to, when I wanted to. It'd taken me almost a month from the time I'd told him I was coming back 'til I actually got there… and those days had sucked, hardcore. Having been away from the life I had in Wisconsin had made me realize that it was nothing I wanted anymore.

"Because he's pissed?"

"What did you do to him?" he asked, dropping his head to look at me out of the corner of his eye.

I gave him a smirk, I might as well lay the whole story on him now. I had wanted to save all the details because I wanted to be face-to-face when I told him, I wanted to see his reaction rather than just hear it.

So, I started from the beginning, telling him about getting home and finding Riley and our knock-down-drag-out and him getting hauled off to jail. I almost couldn't make it through the story at a few points, I was trying so hard not to laugh at Emmett's reactions to what I was saying. I knew how to tell him a story, and it was obvious I hadn't lost my touch.

I finally made it through the rest of the details – selling the house and getting rid of Riley's stuff – the Salvation Army had greatly appreciated my sizable donation- and fighting with the dealership when I went to sell the other car. I wasn't going to miss the Miata, it didn't hold any special memories… it had just been my "I have to drive to the Dells in style" car. I'd put some of my stuff in storage, tossed the rest in the back of my Santa Fe and started the drive to Florida. Google Maps had estimated the trip at roughly 25 hours… but I took my time and meandered, I knew I had a safe place waiting for me and nothing behind me really, so I just drove.

I'd even made a list of things in various states that I'd passed through that I had to tell Emmett about. We'd talked about taking road trips and never really had gotten the chance to just get in the car and drive… so I'd just taken tons of pictures and made notes of things to tell him about so he could have the vicarious experience with me.

Emmett had laughed when he'd seen me pull up at his place, five days after I'd called him to tell him I was driving out of Wisconsin and crossing the state line into Illinois.

"You're never going to sell this thing, are you?" he'd asked, running his hand along the side of the SUV, smiling.

I'd shook my head 'no' and fell against him, wrapping my arms around him and feeling truly content with everything that had happened. I was in a new place, with a person that made me happy, and I had a chance to start my life all over again, make things mine.

-:-

"GET THE DOOR!" Emmett yelled from the back of the house, after the doorbell had rung somewhere around 8 times.

"It's gonna be for you, why do I have to get the damn door?" I shouted back, finally forcing myself up off the couch and pausing the movie I'd been watching. We'd definitely settled back into our old habits with each other- it was fun.

I flung the door open and gazed at the girl standing on the doorstep. I looked her up and down, wondering if this could possibly be the elusive girlfriend. "Hi, who are you?"

"I'm Angela… who are YOU?" she shot back, sizing me up with a mildly hostile glance.

"I'm Rosalie…" The look on her face when I said my name was priceless... part shock and possibly part fear. I chuckled, "I see you've heard about me."

She was craning her neck to see around me, like she expected Emmett to appear behind me, naked and guilty any minute. I stepped aside to let her in and watched as she went through the house, calling for him. He met her coming out of the kitchen and grabbed her up, giving her a sweet, slow kiss that made me more than a little jealous. I leaned against the wall around the corner, silent, to hear what she had to say to him… if they ever stopped kissing.

I heard him first, "Hey, beautiful"… then another kiss.

"SHE'S the one staying with you?"

"Yeah…"

"Why is she here?"

"Because she's staying here while I'm gone…"

"You're not gone yet!"

"Um, no… but I will be soon… she sold her house so she's just staying here… it's no big thing…"

"YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND IS LIVING WITH YOU AND IT'S NO BIG THING?"

I clamped my hand over my mouth to stifle the giggle that was wanting to escape. She was in such a snit over nothing.

"No, it's not… she's my friend… there's nothing to worry about. I love you, Ange… she's not competition…"

"When you talked about her, you failed to mention she looks like Malibu Barbie!"

He laughed at that, "Nah, her boobs aren't big enough for that…"

What the hell? He'd never complained about them before!

"Emmett! That's not the point! You've got some beautiful girl – who just happens to be your ex-girlfriend- living here with you… and you never told me about it! You've been lying to me!"

Oh god… she sounds like she's about to cry…

"Angela… I was not lying! I told you I had a friend staying here… I do… she's my friend. That's it. I swear, that's all…"

"I'm sure… where is she sleeping, huh, Emmett? You kept telling me not to come over… she's why! You've been "busy" all the time… what have you been doing?"

I couldn't take this anymore and stuck my head around the corner.

"Angela, seriously… I'd fuck both of his brother, his dad, his sister, AND his brother-in-law before I'd have sex with him again… you don't have to worry about that…" I saw the horrified expressions on both of their faces, and had to laugh because I knew what he was thinking. "I'd still do Alice…"

"I HATE it when you say that!" he said, visibly shuddering.

I laughed again, I'd still never figured out why that bothered him so much – but it never failed to entertain me. I'd always thought Alice was hot – and I'd mentioned it to him once and he'd freaked out. So, every now and I liked to bring it up, just to tease him.

I finally stopped giggling and looked over at her, still gaping at me. I couldn't even begin to imagine what was on her mind.

Emmett saw the look, too, and put his hand on her shoulder. "Ange, c'mon… let's go somewhere… we'll talk… chill out…"

I gave her the sweetest smile I could possibly muster without cracking up again. I knew he was in love with her, I should be nice and not try to cause any problems.  
She just sort of nodded at him and headed toward the door, without saying anything else. He gave me a look on his way out the door and I blew him a kiss, sure I'd hear about all that later.

Since I was in the kitchen, I grabbed a beer and some leftover pizza from the other night and went back to the couch, starting the movie again and flopping down. I could see how she'd be upset about things – if he hadn't really told her much of what was going on. She really didn't have anything to worry about, though. Emmett and I had a very easy relationship now… we were good friends. Honestly, he was probably my best friend. He'd been my boyfriend, he'd been my lover… but now, he was my friend.

We weren't each other's firsts, really, unless it counts for being the first time either of us honestly fell in love. Looking back, I think he'd even say that he wasn't really in love with his first girlfriend. Did he feel a lot for her? Yeah, of course. But love? C'mon, they were 16 and 17... how much does anyone really know about love at that point? You know what you see and feel at that time, but don't realize how little that is until you've gotten older and felt more and experienced more and know how all-consuming love can be once you've fallen in so deeply that you can't remember the way it was before that person became everything in your life. And that's how it was for Emmett and I. He wasn't the one I lost my virginity to, but he was the one I gave it up to in every other way. I handed him my heart, my soul, anything he wanted, he had gotten. And he did the same for me... usually.

Mostly.

Basically.

I finished my beer and pizza and got up, having no idea what was going on with the movie, since I'd zoned out. I got to thinking about Angela again… she was really nothing like I expected. At all. I mean, Emmett hadn't given me a whole lot of detail about her – I just knew he was totally in love with her. He'd seemed to get even crazier about her in the time I'd been gone. I couldn't assess much from her personality at this point – except that she obviously had some issues with me… but even the way she looked wasn't what I was expecting. She was very… average, maybe? She didn't look anything like the typical Florida girls I'd seen… she wasn't blonde, she wasn't super skinny, and she didn't dress like a whore. Maybe she was just what he needed.

I was dozing on the couch when Emmett came back – alone. I could only guess Angela hadn't been ready for another encounter with me just yet, so they'd said good-bye outside. I sat up, rubbing my eyes, as he walked into the room with me and crashed on the chair across from the couch.

He just looked at me, I couldn't quite tell what he was thinking. We both started talking at the same time, "My reputation seems to have preceded me…"

"I think you scared the hell out of her."

I laughed, "She's not what I expected…"

"She's amazing, Rose… I really want you to like her…" he said, those big blue eyes giving me that pleading look.

"I didn't say I didn't like her!" I scowled at him. "If you wouldn't have left out several factors in her information… we might have gotten off to a better start!"

"I guess I didn't figure it would be that big of a deal," he said, moving from the chair to the couch and sitting beside me. "I mean, like, it works for us… we know nothing is going on now…"

I interrupted him, "Did you get her to believe that, though?"

"She says she trusts me… until I give her a reason not to… She was just pissed I didn't tell her anything before."

"I'm with her on that one… when you get left out of things, you get suspicious." I told him, giving him a look.

"You'd think I'd learn, huh?" he asked, giving me a little smile.

"Maybe one day…" I laughed.

He paused for a second, "What did you mean that she's nothing like you expected?"

"She's just… I don't know… she doesn't look like your type of girl… " I said, not ready to get into an in-depth discussion of her, based on the extremely limited interaction we'd had.

"What's that supposed to mean? I date all kinds of girls…" he protested.

"Right, if 'all kinds' actually means, tall, blonde, and skinny…" I retorted.

Of the serious girls in his life, I was the only all-natural one… Alexa's tits were fake… everything about Victoria was fake… but we were all tall, skinny, blue-eyed, blonde girls… with varying degrees of "bitch" in our personalities.

He was insistent, "I date girls that aren't tall, blonde, and skinny!"

"No, you FUCK girls that aren't tall, blonde, or skinny… because you're a horndog with occasional lapses in judgment, but to my knowledge, she's the only chick who doesn't fit that description you've been… serious about." I said, giving him my best "go ahead and try to deny that" look.

He finally relented, saying, "Okay, so she doesn't LOOK like what you expected… I swear, once you get to know her…you'll like her."

"I'll take your word on that for now, since I don't see her being eager to talk to me again." I said, trying to hide a snort.

"You're just… different. Like, on her computer…she's got a Carl Jung quote on her desktop… you've got a naked picture of Christina Aguilera." he said, reaching up to ruffle my hair.

"Aaaannnddd… your point would be?" I had no idea where he was going with that one.

"I'm just saying… you're just… different… but you'll like each other… I'm sure you've got things in common…"

I had to laugh at that one, "Emmett, the only thing we have in common right now, is YOU. And for girls, that's a BAD starting point."

"Just play nice, okay? Please? For me?" He gave me the puppy eyes again.

I sighed, "Anything for you."


	7. Chapter 7

I sat on the edge of Emmett's bed, tapping my feet on the floor. I couldn't believe it was taking him longer to get ready than it took me. I hadn't exactly gone out of my way to make myself gorgeous, though I thought I was looking pretty hot, if I could say so myself. Emmett and I had been outside enough the past couple weeks – playing basketball, jogging on the beach, driving around in the convertible to get me acquainted with the area - that my tan had reached golden perfection and my hair was sun streaked with highlights that would have made any of the celebrity stylists out here foam at the mouth.

So, I'd just brushed on some gold-dust powder and mascara, a little lip gloss and pulled my hair back in a loose, messy bun… slipped on a pair of jean shorts and tank top and pronounced myself ready. I'd seen the totally un-subtle way Emmett had looked me up and down and I knew my minimal effort had been plenty.

"So, are you ready to leave?" I called to him, not realizing he was walking out of the bathroom and was only a few feet from me.

He shrugged and reached into his closet to pull out a shirt. "I guess. I like being out on the road, but sometimes it's just like… same shit, different city… and this time… I just…I don't want to leave Angela…"

I turned my head – only slightly – to make a face, "Aww, isn't that adorable?"

He flipped me off and went to check his reflection in the mirror again. "I might even miss your punk ass a little."

"I know you miss my punk ass.. I caught you checking it out earlier." I teased him.

He laughed, "Yeah… you do have an awesome ass."

I rolled over onto my stomach on the bed and slid off the edge of the mattress so my ass was in the air. I turned to smirk at him, giving my hips a little shake.

"That ain't right." He told me, turning the other way.

I gasped, "Oh my god… you just passed up an opportunity to not only blatantly stare at my ass, but possibly smack and/or violate me. What the fuck?"

"Girlfriend. Not you." He replied.

"Oh, so NOW you learn that." I said, getting back up.

"Better late than never." He mumbled. "You ready?"

I chuckled. "For your friends? Always."

He pushed me toward the door, "You promised me you'd behave."

"No… I promised I'd play nice… and that was only with Angela. I fully intend to play very, very dirty with all your boys." I said, giving him my sweetest, most innocent smile.

"I'm leaving you here." He playfully tried to block the door, but I squeezed through past him and kicked him in the ass from the other side.

We got to the bar near the beach where we were meeting everyone at and I hopped out of the car. It was sort of an out-of-the-way place, so there weren't a ton of people crowded around, looking for who was arriving, like there were at most of the places I'd seen around Tampa. As we walked through the door, I liked the laidback atmosphere of the place immediately and could understand why Emmett had picked this place. I was honestly surprised that he hadn't gone by to get Angela… I knew she'd be there tonight… like they were going to miss their last night to be together.

"DUDE, OVER HERE!"

I turned in the same direction Emmett did as a guy's voice echoed out the door to the porch-type area we were standing on.

Emmett grabbed my hand and led me through the people loitering around, dropping it quickly when he saw Angela.

I just laughed and stood back, waiting for them to finish slobbering on each other and groping so he could introduce me to everyone. I glanced around the group – all beautiful to an unreasonable degree. I saw a few of the guys around the table trying to look past Emmett and Angela and checking me out in return. I chuckled again… looked like I was going to get along fine with everyone. I knew he wanted me to get to know some of his friends out here, so I'd have people to hang out with or at least talk to, since I was basically going to be alone once he left tomorrow.

Realizing that they weren't going to come up for air anytime soon, I sat down at the table and said hello to everyone. "Hey… I'm Rosalie."

I saw a couple of the guy's eyes widen and a few elbows jabbed into sides. Guess they'd heard about me, too. I just smiled. "So, who the fuck are you?"

Three of the guys jumped up and extended their hands to me at the same time. I gave them all my flirtiest smile as they introduced themselves, "Hello Sam, hello Seth, and heellooo Tyler…"

"You can call me Ty." He said, returning my smile with his own stellar grin.

I followed the introductions around the table – the rest of the guys and a few girls – Paul, Emily, Demetri, Heidi, Irina, Alec, Jared, Jacob and Tanya. I said 'hello' and shook hands with all the guys, I got 'hi's out of most of the girls, but I could tell they were already sizing me up, determining if I was potential competition or not. As far as I could tell, there were a few couples – I was guessing that Heidi had made her claim on Demetri and the way Tanya was perched on Jared's lap seemed to indicate a certain level of ownership.

Emmett finally pulled himself away from Angela and said, "Hey everybody… this is Rosalie…"

"They know Emmett, you missed it." I told him. He looked around the table and glared at Seth and Sam. "Don't even think about it."

Hmm… Did that mean Ty was fair game?

Nick dropped down into the seat beside me, apparently reading my mind. He leaned over and whispered, "Stay away from him, Rose."

I looked at him, like, what the fuck?

"Just trust me on this one, okay?"

"Alright…" I was sure as hell going to be asking for an explanation on that one later… but I wasn't going to disregard his words. As I was looking at him, I saw Angela sit down beside Emmett, and something about the way she moved just sort of intrigued me. She moved slowly, deliberately, and gracefully… and she was just sitting down. I saw the way Emmett's hand immediately moved over to rest on her thigh once she was sitting – and something about what had just happened made me understand them better. I knew the kinds of things Emmett would notice about her – and how they were different from the other girls he'd been with – and why he'd want to hold onto to her. I was happy for him… and just a little bit sad for me.

A couple hours later, after several rounds of beer (mostly for me and the boys… the girls seemed to be working mainly on their Cosmo's or vodka and diet, because vodka, I learned, had few calories than other alcoholic drinks…) and passing-around about 15 different kinds of appetizers and then our actual meals, the real talking began… and the real personalities began to show.

It was becoming obvious to me why Emmett had warned me to stay away from Tyler(no more 'Ty', the friendly feelings were quickly subsiding)… as he seemed unable to remove his eyes from my chest… or the ass of any girl who walked by. Right on, Emmett, thanks for the warning.

As we sat around the table, it felt alternately very familiar… and very odd. It was the same scene Emmett and I had been a part of together a thousand times in the past… out with friends, him right beside me. But at the same time, it was different. These people weren't like our friends in Madison… and there was another girl at his side.

I guess being the new novelty to the group, I was receiving a lot of attention, which I was fine with … I could bask in the limelight just as well as Emmett could. And he was right there with me. I could tell the girls were watching us closely – I didn't know who had been told what about me – but I knew they were all making assessments about me, and especially about my relationship with Emmett. From what I could tell, Irina (who Alec seemed to be more than a little interested in) was Angela's closest friend in the group – they were the ones exchanging Those Looks when I'd say something … colorful. Particularly if it had been about Emmett. Are we in fucking high school?

So, I was surprised when it was Heidi who asked, "So, like, what's the deal with you two?"

"Who two?" I asked, as if I didn't know. The beer and my terrible rhyme was making me giggly, so this may not have been the ideal time for that question.  
Emmett knocked his knee against mine under the table and I glanced over at him. I was not so tipsy that I couldn't recognize a "please don't" look when I see one.

"You and Emmett… you're, like, friends and… then some." Heidi said, giving me a fairly accusing look.

"We're friends." Emmett said to her, immediately. "That's it."

I nodded, "Yeah, we're friends. But… once upon a time… yeah, there was more."

"How much more?" Heidi pressed, obviously unaware of Angela's extreme discomfort. I wasn't even looking directly at her and I could see her squirming in her seat.

"Everything." I said, directly to her. "Why does it matter?" I asked, giving a somewhat intimidating gaze.

Emily jumped in then, "So, what happened?"

The part Emmett didn't want to talk about. I took a long drink out of my beer and said, "Life. Be-Rocked had just taken off, the tabloid cameos became more of a regular occurance, I guess I couldn't quite deal with it…" I turned and smirked at my trio of admirers – Seth, Sam, and Tyler were still staring me down – and finished, "And I fucked three of his friends."

Jaws dropped around the table, and I was pleased with the gasps. They all thought I was a cheating whore and that was fine. I wasn't so much concerned with what they thought of me, anyway. I do believe the formerly lecherous looks coming from the Three Musketeers had now turned almost purely lustful. I guess they figured if I'd did it once, I'd be inclined to do it again.

"I still can't believe you did that…" Emmett said, squeezing my knee, like he was saying thank you and playing along.

"What did you expect? You're the one who kept telling them who good it was with me… you knew they were gonna wanna find out for themselves." I said, giving him a look that clearly said "Hello, Obvious!"

I sat back in my chair and finished off my beer as Emmett quickly started a new conversation, taking the focus off me. I realized that was possibly the worst first impression I could have made – but whatever. I was willing to be the bad guy, I'd do that for him.

It wasn't true, but what did they need to know really? Once everyone else was involved in whatever-the-hell they were talking about now, I got up, looked around to try to find the bathroom. Angela was still watching me carefully, and jumped up right after I did. I mouthed "bathroom" to her, figuring she'd just point me in the general direction. No such luck.

"This way..." She said, moving around the jumble of chairs with that easy elegance again and heading across the crowded room.

I followed her, knowing something had to be up. We got to the partition that hid the bathrooms and she stepped behind it and stood right in front of me, keeping from going any further.

"What?" I asked, when she didn't say anything.

She looked right at me, "That wasn't the truth, was it?"

"What wasn't the truth?" I wondered if Emmett had said anything, if she would have known I was basically lying.

"What you told everyone about you and Emmett… I mean, he's never … said anything… just seems like if it all went down like that… he'd have been more mad about it." She said, an expression on her face that I couldn't quite figure out. I didn't know if she wanted to think I was a slut or if she was hoping it wasn't true. Maybe the idea of the touring was getting to her and she was afraid something was going to happen with them.

"Anytime there's a break-up, there's always two sides to every story. That was mine. Maybe you should ask Emmett for his version." I told her, giving a little smile.

She hesitated for a second and then stepped out of my way and headed back toward the tables.

I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I wondered what Emmett would tell her. I knew he was in love with her – I could see it and I could tell from the way he talked about her. I was willing to let him decide what he wanted the truth to be about us. It was far enough in the past I was over it… most days. I knew he'd changed since then and I knew he was sorry about what had happened. I'd obviously forgiven him, but it had definitely hurt at the time. I knew he'd been messing around with some things I definitely wasn't cool with, but I'd been willing to over look it. I knew he was stressed, I knew he needed an escape that I couldn't give him, so I let more things go than I should… because I loved him. Looking back, because I loved him, I should have done something… anything… sooner.

The official end had come when I'd caught him messing around with another (possibly underage) girl. He'd sworn she was 21… to which I'd said, yeah, maybe in dog years. I don't know that they had sex…and I didn't know that there'd been any other girls – I hadn't wanted to know. But that was enough for me to say it was over. He went off and dated Victoria… and I went off and had sex with three of his friends. Okay, I had sex with two of them and gave one a blow job he wasn't going to forget anytime soon. After the Victoria debacle had ended… and he was broken again… we'd come back together… not as a couple, but as friends who were close and knew we needed each other in our lives.

I finally got away from the mirror when an extremely drunk chic basically barreled over me and I went to the bathroom. I headed back to the rest of the group, only imagining what they might have said about me. But I knew Emmett wouldn't let them, not while he was around. After he left, though… maybe I'd have sweet talk Tyler a little and see what I could find out.

-:-

I put my feet up on the dashboard of the car – which I knew drove Emmett nuts – as he drove us home. I was surprised he hadn't brought Angela back with him. I was actually still shocked I had yet to be kicked out of the house for them to get busy. Things felt weird now… because it was like going back in time. Out driving at night… just me and him and the stars… knowing that he was leaving in the morning… and I was going to be alone.

He stopped at a red light and leaned over to kiss my cheek. "You were awesome tonight."

I laughed, "I can't imagine what everyone else thought."

"I think they were… intrigued."

"Only if intrigued means that the girls think I'm a whore and the guys want to fuck me." I said, rolling my eyes.

"So what if they do?" he asked. "I know you well enough to know you're not going to care either way."

I smiled, "Indeed, you are correct."

He started driving again when the light turned green, "Seriously, though… thanks for what you said… I didn't expect… that. You didn't have to make it sound like it was all... you. I was just hoping…"

I looked over at him as his voice trailed off. I knew what he'd been hoping – that I wouldn't say anything in front of Angela that would make her wonder what kind of guy he really was, or if maybe she didn't know him as well as she thought she did.

"I know… I can be the evil one… I'm okay with that. We both know what happened… and I'm fine for it to just stay between us." I leaned my head down and rest it on his shoulder, "I know you love her, Emmett. I'm not going to do anything to screw that up."

He turned quickly to kiss the top of my head. "Thanks… and I know you wouldn't…"

He paused for a minute, then said, "I still trust you more than anyone else, Rosalie. You've never been anything but good to me… you took a lot of shit… and I still can't believe you've stuck with me like you have…"

I couldn't help it, something in his voice made me a little teary just then. "I love you… always have and I always will."

"I love you, too." He turned the corner to the street he lived on. "Will you be alright if I take off tonight?"

"AH-HA!" I shouted, up righting myself again.

"What?" he yelped, having practically driven off the road from me screaming in his ear.

"I KNEW it! You're so going to Angela's to get some last-night-at-home booty." I cackled.

He almost looked like he was blushing under the street lights. "Shut up."

I jumped out of the car – over the door, without opening it – as soon as he was in the driveway. I ran in front of the car and stood with one hand on my hip and the other pointing back out to the road.

"Just GO, dude… get over there and get on her!" I made a few suggestive gestures, moaning "OH Em… yeah.. fuck me, baby, HARDER EMMETT!" loud enough the neighbors a few doors down were going to hear me.

"Oh my god. You are SO NOT RIGHT!" he yelled back at me, but started backing the car up to pull out, just the same.

I was laughing as I got my key out and went inside the house, stripping off my clothes as I walked to the bathroom. I'd pick my clothes up later… the place was mine now, I was going to do whatever I wanted. And first it was a shower… then… porn and some playtime. I might not have anyone to play with, but Emmett sure as hell wasn't going to be the only one getting off tonight.


	8. Chapter 8

I rolled over in bed again, stretching and wiggled around a little on top the comforter. I loved everything about Emmett's bed… except the fact that I was sleeping in it alone. He'd even taken his damn dog on the road with him, so I had no one. I'd at least managed to have some human company during the days – I'd hung out with Alice a few times, I liked her much better now that she was older… and marginally more settled.

I'd been alone in Florida for 16 days… I'd given myself a crash course in driving around – I knew all of the highways and major areas like Ybor, Clearwater, St Petersburg, etc., the best places to shop and where to find the hottest surfers. I was settling in nicely, I was just in desperate need of some socialization. But I could work on that later… right now, I just wanted to sleep, snuggled up in this fantastic marshmallow of a bed.

-:-

I sat straight up when the phone rang, trying to remember where the hell I'd left it. I jumped up to turn on the light and nearly tripped over the phone, conveniently lying on the floor next to my slippers. I picked it up, "hello, Emmett…"

"Hey… how'd you know it was me?" he asked.

I chuckled. I knew him well enough to know when the restlessness would set in… when the night would get too long for him. "C'mon…who else would it be? I expected you'd have to start making calls pretty soon… I just figured it would be Angela you'd be dialing."

"I do call her… I just can't call her now… she's got to go to work and I don't want to keep her up all night talking… but that's always the last thing I do every night after I get into bed… call her." He explained.

"That's cute…" I said, thinking of when he used to call me at night from the road.

He waited in my silence and said, "That's what I should have done with you."

"Should have done… what?" I asked, hesitantly, wondering what I was about to find out.

"Called you last thing… I mean, I know you... know… some of the stuff that happened, but… I guess… just being out on the road has given me so much time to think about everything and I've been thinking a lot about Angela…and a lot about you and everything I did wrong with you and … don't want to do again. I called you when the show was over or when I'd come back to the room… but I always went back out. I'd checked in, I was done. But… with Ange… I wait to talk to her… I get in bed and then I call her…"

I followed where he was going with that, "And you can't call her if there's another girl with you…"

"Yeah…"

I sighed. I kind of knew he cheated on me... I'd only caught him once, but I figured there'd been others… I just hadn't been ready to deal with it at the time. That had all come later… and I'd basically gotten over it. But that didn't mean that it didn't hurt me to bring it up again, now.

"I'm sorry, Rosalie, I really am… I really fucked up with you."

"Emmett, we can't go back and change it. I loved you, I love you… and I'm glad that you figured out how things should be. Do I wish you'd known sooner? Hell yeah… but we still had a good thing." I told him, and then added, laughing, "Most of the time."

"It was good all the time… I just… couldn't handle how I missed you… and I went looking for distractions."

I was silent again, where else was I supposed to go with this conversation? It was weird we'd never really talked about this before… so I guess I did have a few things to add. "It was hard on me, too… that's sort of been on my mind, too, because, I mean… it's the same for me now… I'm lying in your bed… alone. Nights sucked when you were gone… I worried you were with someone else… you'd come back and we'd have sex and I'd worry about it more…"

He interrupted me, "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"I did say something… indirectly… you know… the only reason I'd kick you out of bed…"

He cut me off again, "was to fuck me on the floor." He laughed, and then asked, "What did that have to do with anything?"

"We had awesome, awesome sex, Emmett. Like porn star sex. I loved that… and I just wanted to be close to you… I'd deal with the doubt and worry or whatever… to be with you like that." I told him.

"But why didn't you tell me, like, that you … knew or thought you knew or suspected…" he asked, pressing the issue. He never did know when to let up.

"What was I going to say? I didn't really want to know! Just worrying about it seemed easier than knowing it… and if I'd have known… it would have been hard to stay with you… and I wasn't ready to give you up before I had to."

"You've never given me up… and I'm thankful for that every day."

"No, I've never given up ON you… I had to give you up and let you go. Those are two totally different things." He was killing me with this conversation. I wanted to throw the phone across the room and pull the pillow over my head until I was asleep again. But I knew he wanted to talk, he needed to get this out. "If we're going to continue to reminisce like this, can we at least talk about some of the good stuff?"

He gave a soft chuckle, and I could picture the expression on his face from the sound. "Yeah, sorry for the depressing shit… what would you like to talk about?"

"I don't care what we talk about, just stop reminding me that I'm here alone and making me remember what we had… even if it was nothing like I thought it was." I punched one of his pillows a few times, just for good measure.

"It wasn't that bad, Rosalie. We had a good thing." He said, using that tone of voice that he only brought out when he needed to placate me.

I sighed. "I know… then it was all over and everything went to hell."

"Why?"

His question hung between us, suspended on the phone line. Why? Why had everything gone to hell? We'd broken up and suddenly, my whole life was over. He moved to Florida, I didn't have "our" friends anymore, and I'd just sort of fallen apart. I got involved with Riley – trying to find the stability in him that I'd apparently been lacking in Emmett, got sucked into a new social circle and group of highly debatable "friends", and just kind of… stopped caring.

"Rose? You okay?"

"Right now? Sort of… I guess. I don't know. I was just thinking… when it was over… I was… WRECKED. Fucking wrecked, Emmett. And we keep saying "it was good, it was good", but it wasn't always good. A lot of the time we fucking SUCKED together… but it worked because when we were together, when you were home, it was like fucking MAGIC. You left, I held on, you fucked around, but you came home and everything was "okay" even though it wasn't because you were THERE and I was with YOU and it was un-fucking-believable. Then we were over, I wanted someone, anyone to fill the void you left. So I ended up with a dumbass motherfucker and his stupid fucking friends… and I just put up with it because I didn't know what else to do with myself without you. Fuck Tampa… my dreams lived and died in Madison."

I actually clamped my hand over my mouth, shocked I'd just said all that. Apparently I was more than willing to hold Emmett responsible for the untimely demise of whatever was good in my life. I don't even know that I realized I really felt that way until I started saying – and it was true.

There was silence from his end… I'm sure he was just as surprised as I was. We made mention of "the end" sometimes, but we'd never talked about it in detail and he had no way of knowing how things had been for me. He'd left, gotten involved with Victoria… and those of months of our lives that had been apart had just… disappeared between the two of us. I don't know that he was that upset when we broke up or how he felt, but now he… and I… both knew that I'd obviously never quite recovered.

"Emmett, I… shit… I'm sorry… I wasn't even… thinking…. I…"

He cut me off, "Don't apologize, Rosalie. I had that coming."

"You might have had that coming a few years ago, I should have figured it out and dealt with it by now. I'm sorry. I am. It's over… I just.. need to move on, obviously. It's not all your fault. I was there, too."

Right then, I wanted nothing more than to hang up the phone and scream and cry. I didn't want to be talking to him just then. Maybe in the morning, maybe later, just not now. It was too much like those nights before, when we'd hang up and I'd wonder what was next.

"Rose, stop it. Don't go and get all upset over this. It's over. I fucked up and I know that. You were good… too good, maybe. I know you loved… love me… just like I do… I love you… maybe in a little bit different way… but I do," he told me.

"I know…" I had nothing else to say.

"Get some sleep, okay? I've got to go to bed… I know you don't need anymore of this tonight… We can talk more later… if you want to. Aight?"

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. "Yeah."

"Sleep sweet, bitch." He said, saying our traditional goodnight and goodbye.

"Wet dreams, fag." I replied, and hung up the phone, pulling a pillow over my head and just wanting to forget almost everything that had just happened.

-:-

I woke up, tangled in the sheets like something much more interesting should have happened during the night. I was hoping that I'd just dreamed that phone call with Emmett, but judging from the puffiness of my eyes, I knew that wasn't the case. Damn. I'd fallen asleep crying, more for myself and ridiculousness of my own life than anything Emmett had said or done.

I was dancing around the kitchen making dinner when the doorbell rang, nearly giving me heart failure. Who the hell was going to drop by? I went to the door and opened it up, surprised and not to see Tyler standing there. He was freakin' hot, I'd give him that… but his general personality had impressed me less and less the night I'd seen him at the bar. "Hello…"

He gave me a big ass smile, "Hey there, beautiful. I thought you might be lonely… so I thought I'd drop by…"

"And keep me company?" I asked, turning my back on him and walking away from the door. I knew he was following me, I could practically feel his eyes fixed on my ass.

"No need for a gorgeous girl like you to be alone." He said.

"What makes you think I'm alone? I could have someone here every day… I've done this Emmett-is-gone thing before, you know." I told him.

He slid up beside me as I went back to the stove to stir, "Yeah, and if I heard correctly… you were workin' on a few of his boys, too. Since you don't know anyone out here, I just thought I'd… y'know… volunteer myself, in case you needed some attention."

Wow. Did he seriously just say that? I turned to him, "Are you for real? Did you actually just 'volunteer' to fuck me if I got lonely? Do you really think that I couldn't do better than you? I could walk down the Strip at 3 AM and probably find 15 drunk homeless guys I'd rather have sex with."

He appeared sort of perplexed, like he didn't quite understand either what I was saying, or how I could possibility not want to have sex with him. "What? Are you and Emmett still fuckin' around?"

I glared at him, "No, we are not still 'fucking around'. I have too much respect for other people's relationships than that."

"But not your own, huh?"

This guy was incredible...and not in the good way. Emmett had definitely been right to steer my attention away from him. "My relationships are none of your concern. Why did you come by? Just to offer up a mercy fuck … aww, baby girl is all alone, and needs a man? Fuck that shit."

"It's not just mercy… I think you're hot," he said with a smile.

"Oddly enough, you are totally unattractive to me. I'd love it if you left." I returned his grin and bat my eyelashes at him.

"I could give you some time to think about it…" he said, making no move toward the door.

I picked up the knife I'd been using to chop things with and gave a small smile. "Sure. Come a little closer."

"Right. Going now." He started backing away from me and mumbled something about Emmett not having mentioned that I was a crazy bitch.

I slammed the door shut once he was out of it and locked it. A thought occurred to me as I went back to the kitchen – this was Emmett's life now. How had he ended up with a friend like that again? He'd done so much to get rid of the people in his life who would drag him down – he'd managed to get a tight, close group of guys who were good people around him. And they were back in Wisconsin. I hadn't considered before what Emmett's life may have been post-me. Maybe things hadn't been easy on him, either. Maybe there were times he looked back at what we had, what we were… and wondered what the fuck had happened… just like I had.

When I finished cleaning up the mess I'd made in the kitchen, I dialed his cell phone, knowing I wasn't going to catch him, but I had to ask... if he'd gotten so much out of me... I thought it was only fair if I could get a little something from him.

I left him a voicemail, telling him to call...whenever.

-:-

I was less startled when the phone rang in the middle of the night, since I was expecting it. I'd dozed off, though, so it still woke me and I jumped a little. I grabbed the phone - actually where it was supposed to be this time - and said 'hi, Emmett'.

"Hey... everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine... I just wanted to ask you something."

"Alright..."

"How was your day?"

"That's what you called to ask me?" he said, laughing.

"No, I just thought I'd see how things were before I began my interrogation."

"Interrogation?" There was a definite hint of wariness in his voice now.

"Chill out, this isn't the Rosalie Inquisition... I was just trying to make a joke." I told him.

"Just ask me, this is kind of freaking me out."

Okay, fine. "Why'd you move?"

The question hung in air for a few minutes, like he was trying to figure out how to answer it.

"It made more sense for me with working... but I guess... I needed to get away. I couldn't be around so many things that reminded me what a fucking failure I was."

"Failure? What the hell. You've never failed at anything." I said. There may have been a few things here and there that he HAD kind of sucked at, but I didn't think it was really necessary to point them out right now.

"I failed with you. I was part of something awesome and I fucked it up. I didn't need the constant reminders of that," he said, and just the tone of his voice made me sad.

He'd run away, too. Somehow, hearing him say that made me feel better. I started to say something else, but he started talking again.

"Rose, we did the same thing. You got Riley, I got Victoria. He fucked up your life, the whole damn world knows what she did to me. I don't think either one of us knew what to do… we had a… a life.. a world… together…and when there wasn't the two of us, none of that existed. So, we both got lost."

"Did we find ourselves again?" I asked… I wasn't really sure.

He paused to consider. "I think we're working on it."

For now, that was a good enough answer for me.


	9. Chapter 9

"Day 34: intense boredom sets in. Subject considers flinging self off roof to test flight capabilities." I said to my reflection in the bathroom mirror. I was sitting naked on the counter, having just spent an unreasonable amount of time in the bathtub, because I had nothing better to do. For the life of me, I couldn't remember how I used to deal with the insane free time I had when Emmett was gone. But that was probably because I'd never had that much – I'd almost always been with him.

I finally slid off the counter and went to get dressed, stopping at the stereo to turn on some music. I just pressed 'play' and kept going to the closet, as I stood there I frowned at being unable to decide what I wanted to wear. Some mornings I wondered why I even bothered getting dressed… it wasn't like I was going to see anyone. I was so not feeling the next song that came on, so I went to get my iPod and dropped it in the dock. I pulled one of Emmett's shirts out of the closet and slipped it on, and pulled on a pair of my own track pants then skipped down the hall to the kitchen. Since there was no one else around to entertain me, I was obviously going to have to entertain myself.

I picked up the phone, wondering who I could call. Emmett wasn't an option, I wasn't going to harass Alice again, and … what other options did I have? I wasn't going to call Angela or any of her friends – I could only imagine what kind of reception that would get. Guess I could try calling someone from home…. Home. Where the hell was that now? Since Emmett had jumped Riley's ass about all the calls, I hadn't heard anything from anyone back in Madison. Not even my supposed "best friend". I chuckled at that. She'd never really been that good of a friend and particularly not nearly good enough to be the "best". I'd just kind of acquired her, along with all the rest of Riley's friends when we'd gotten together, because all of the "couple" friends Emmett and I had had sort of… fallen away. It's too damn hard to keep friends like that… so I'd left them behind and traded in for much, much less.

I grabbed my phone and dialed her number, opening the fridge and willing food to appear magically since I'd checked it last night.

"Hello?" She sounded a little suspicious when she said it, but I knew she's seen it was me on her phone.

"Hi, Jessica… it's been, oh, 3 months? Nice of you to call and check to see how I was doing…" I said, trying to keep my tone as light as possible, even though I meant exactly what I said.

"Riley said I shouldn't call you. You were such a bitch to him, Rosalie."

I knew immediately where this was going, "Riley said, huh? At any point in your life are you not going to be his lapdog? How long did it take you to start fucking him, Jess? I bet he was at your place the night they let him out of jail… you probably picked him up didn't you? It must be great for you now… me all the way across the country and the two of you, just laying around bitching about how awful I am…" I just spit it out. I knew she'd always had a thing for him, and I suspected part of the reason she'd "befriended" me was simply to keep an eye on me and tabs on how my relationship with him was.

"I'm glad you're gone! You can stay out there chasing your loser ass ex-boyfriend and hoping he'll take you back! Now Riley and I don't have to sneak around anymore. We were together before you left!"

I couldn't hide my laughter. My loser ass ex-boyfriend owned one of the top three most successful entertainment companies in the world, a company he named after me. She kept shrieking on the other end and I just rolled my eyes. "You two deserve each other." I said and hung up on her. I promptly deleted her number from my phone and tossed it onto the kitchen table.

"Fuck 'em, both."

-:-

I needed a distraction- I didn't want to sit around and mope all day. I'd resisted the temptation this long, but I couldn't stand it anymore… I had to do some snooping. See what he was keeping and where. I'm pretty sure he figured I would… he knew me… if there was anything he REALLY didn't want me to see, he'd have taken it with him. And I wasn't about to go tearing his place apart... I wasn't looking for anything specific, I was just curious, I guess… as to what I'd recognize. Was there anything left of the way he used to be? Did anything of "us" remain? I figured there'd really only be one place to look – I knew him well enough to know he wouldn't hide anything in his bedroom – if there was anything to be found, it was going to be in his office.

It was the one room I really hadn't been in, mainly because nothing in there was of significant interest to me. I knew he kept receipts for anything he bought that cost more than $100 (and that alone resulted in entire file cabinets of wadded up receipts)… I didn't need to flip through the pages and pages of crap in his portfolios from real estate or on the record label or the publishing company… I didn't care about any of that. I had no desire to see how the ball-o-rubberbands was progressing (if memory served, that was located in the top left drawer, along with the collection of business cards he'd accumulated.) I'd learned the really good stuff was hidden in the bottom drawers, stashed in the back, and piled under the folders of very boring, trivial-looking stuff.

I went into the office and flopped down in his chair, disappointed that it wasn't more comfortable. But then again, it was entirely possible he'd never actually sat in the chair, either, but probably just dropped down on the desk when he used the phone. I spun the chair a few times and then pulled open the bottom drawers on both sides. I reached to the back of the drawer on the left and felt around. I pulled out an empty Twinkie box and cracked up laughing. He never could totally commit to staying away from junk food. I stuffed the box back in the drawer and closed it, then swiveled the chair to slip my hand into the right drawer. I found a giant stack of papers covered with random scribbles and chunks of song lyrics. I set the papers on the desk and reached in again, more than a little surprised when I grabbed a hold of a photo album. Emmett had always liked pictures – but he wasn't really a photo album kind of guy. I'd put lots of albums and scrapbooks together when we were dating, but I didn't recognize this one. I flipped it open to the middle, startled when I saw pictures of myself. I don't know what I'd been expecting, but that wasn't it. If it were going to be pictures I'd have figured it would be a box of, like, naked pictures that fans had given over the years.

I closed the album and got out of the chair, taking the book to the living room and getting comfortable on the couch – this looked like it may require some time spent. I stared at the front of the album for a moment, wondering if it was like The Girlfriend Album. Highlights of the serious relationships? I finally opened the book – and there I was again. I was in the beginning and the middle… I quickly fanned through the pages without really looking at any of the pictures, but could tell that it was all me. The entire book.

I went back to the beginning and began to look more carefully through the photos. I couldn't believe how young I looked – how young we both looked. One of the pictures was Emmett and I – I was nibbling on his earlobe and his face and shoulders were all scrunched up, like he was enjoying what I was doing but wanted me to stop at the same time. He was so young… fresh-faced and almost innocent looking. Did I even remember that guy? Hell, did I remember the girl who was with him? There were a few more of the two of us – some at the beach, one from a party…then I turned the page. There was a big picture of just me – wearing one of his hoodies and it didn't look like much else. I was sure I probably had on a black thong or something else… but in the picture I just had the hood up over my head, a few whisps of hair were sticking out of the hood, I had a totally mischievous smile on my face and then my legs which seemed unreasonably long. It was pretty hot, really.

I flipped through a few more pages of just me doing random, silly things and stopped again at one that really sort of took me by surprise... It was a picture of the two of us at the opening of the first club he and Edward opened. I was in a dress that I cut up because it was ugly, but we looked so genuinely happy. My head was resting on his chest, and his arms were wrapped around me. I remembered that like it was yesterday. He was telling me about the super high profile marketing rep that asked to endorse his next 3 endeavors. A photographer had lightly tapped Emmett on the shoulder, asking if he could take a picture. I understood why he'd kept that one. I wonder if he remembered that it was the night he said he loved me for the first time. More pictures of just me – on a surfboard, at the park, in Aspen all bundled up. And then a few more pages of the two of us – older, at the end of our relationship… but god, we still looked happy. Hands all over each other, laughing and smiling… and in the last picture in the album, kissing. I had no idea when or where it was taken – black and white – outside somewhere, but it was just one of THOSE shots… it could have been a poster. I got a little… I don't even know what I was feeling… but my breath caught in my throat and my heart was beating faster… fuck, I missed that.

I literally jumped when the phone rang, startling me out of my reverie of memories. I closed the photo album and set it on the couch, then ran for the phone. "Hello?"

"Um… did I interrupt something?"

"Emmett!" I squealed. I couldn't help it. I hadn't talked to him in a few days and I missed him. "I'm glad you called…"

"Me, too… it's always good to hear your voice," he told me. "So what did I bust you on?"

"Oh, nothing… I was just thinking about some things and the phone scared me." I wasn't lying… I'd been thinking about him… about us… and the phone scared the hell out of me.

He chuckled a little, then asked, "What were you thinking about?"

"Just… us… who we used to be…" I said.

"What brought that on?"

"I was just… looking at some things… brought back memories."

"You were in my desk, weren't you?"

Damn… he was good. "Maybe…"

"You're not as sneaky as you think you are." He said, but there was a definite hint of laughter in his voice, I could tell he wasn't mad.

"Neither are you or you'd learn not to 'hide' things in the same places all the time." I told him.

"Who am I hiding things from? I know you know everything… and no one else would know where to look… so is that really even trying to be sneaky?" he asked.

I actually had no idea what to say to that. If he knew I'd look, did he leave it there for me to find? Now I was totally confused. "Did you…" I just stopped, because I didn't even know what I was asking. Did he want me to see it? Did he…what? Want me to think back and remember?

"You didn't think I wouldn't keep anything, did you?" his tone was kind of sharp, more so than I would have expected. "Maybe you weren't the only one who was a little fucked up when it was all over, you know? There's things I wanted to remember, too…"

"Emmett, no… we're not rehashing this conversation… it took me too long to recover from it the first time." I was absolutely curious about what he would have said…and there were plenty of things I wanted to ask him, but I just could not go there again. At least not right now.

"Okay… alright…moving on." he said. "What have you been up to?"

"Well, today has been particularly fantastic… I talked to Jessica…who informed me that not only is she now with Riley… they'd been fucking around while he and I were… together…" I got a nasty queasy feeling as a thought came to me – they could have had sex in my bed. EEEWWW!

"Fuck, Rosalie…"

"Yeah, apparently everyone cheats on me. Whatever." I might as well be flippant about things, it was probably the only way I was going to avoid tears.

There was a long silence before he finally responded, "Jessica was a bitch, anyway." He stated, totally ignoring my comment, which was likely for the best.

"She totally was… a vapid, selfish, bitchy whore… wait… does Victoria need a new best friend?" I cackled, at the thought, they'd be amazing together.

He laughed a little, too. "If she doesn't today, I'm sure she will by the end of next week."

-:-

I talked to him on the phone for over an hour, before he was called off to do something else. I told him I loved him and hung up, going back to the photo album and looking through it again.

I kept thinking about all the albums and scrapbooks I had – there were some just like this… just pictures either of us or just him… just the memories and just the good times. Then there were the others – ones that I'd made that he'd never seen. The clips of stories from the tabloids, the print-outs of forum posts and blogs – accounts of meeting me (some closer to the truth than others), accusations (always untrue) and theories (mostly false) about me or me and Emmett… the pictures fans had taken and sent around the internet… The World Wide Web had been my best friend and my enemy… I could find out exactly what people had thought of me within a few hours… and then obsess for days about each little comment. I'd never been the kind of person that had cared what other people thought, but for some reason, reading the opinions of those jealous girls had gotten to me so badly sometimes. They hated my clothes, my hair, my make-up, my personality, everything about me… and usually for no good or apparent reason, except that I had the guy they wanted. Why did I keep all that stuff? Who knows… but I had probably 9 or 10 giant scrapbooks filled with the stuff I'd collected.

I stared again at that last picture of us – and it still just gave me the weirdest feeling. Like… that was my life right there; that was how it was supposed to be. Supposed to have been. I decided to take some of the pictures, mainly the ones of he and I together, and make copies of them. I thought of copying the ones of just me, to see myself how Emmett saw me… was that how he liked to remember me? Was that how he'd seen me then?

I set the album on the kitchen table – I'd take it out later… probably in the early hours of morning when no one would be around to look over my shoulder as I copied the photos. I decided to go for a jog … get some exercise and clear my mind.

I went running along the water's edge out at the beach, thinking mainly about the things Emmett had said. I laughed a little recalling him saying Jessica was a bitch. They'd met only briefly, but that was usually all it took for him. You'd never know it for all the awful people that have been in and out of his life, but he was always a pretty accurate judge of character. The fucking assholes in his life… he let them stay for reasons that made sense only to him… and he was always aware of what they were up to. Maybe it was one of those 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer' things.

I tried to push all the thoughts out of my head, I really didn't need all this on my mind. I'd had so much time to think and mull things over… but where had it gotten me? Nowhere. I was arguably more confused than I'd been when I got out here. However, it was confusion over entirely different topics, so I guess that could have counted as some form of progress, provided I was willing to take a wildly skewed view of things.

I slowed down and walked a little way back toward where I started. I dropped down into the sand by one of the lifeguard stations to people watch for a little while as the sun started dropping into the water. I thought going to the Dells was amazing, being on the Gulf surpassed it 100 million times over. There were couples walking along the shore, holding hands and taking pictures of each other in front of the brightly colored sky. Admittedly, I was jealous. But I tried to ignore it until the sun had completely disappeared and I got up to go home.

I made the walk home last forever – I was just chillin, taking the scenic route and enjoying my surroundings. What else was I going to do? I certainly didn't have a hot date to go get ready for. I got into the house and stripped down on my way to the shower and really, I was kind of depressed. I don't know if it was watching the couples at the beach or just the way my head had been all day – but I wanted someone with me. I wanted someone, or maybe a specific someone – to be chasing me down the hallway, ready to slip into the shower with me.

Ten minutes and some quality solo time in the shower later, I was less sweaty and not so much horny, but I was still a little bummed out. All the time alone and the memories were definitely weighing on me. I needed a fucking drink. I threw on some clothes and went back to the kitchen, wondering if I'd bought enough stuff at the grocery store last time to actually make anything, so I wouldn't drink on an empty stomach.

As I was standing in front of the fridge, waiting for something to materialize that looked appealing to me, the doorbell rang. "Oh hell…" I couldn't even imagine who it was going to be… unless Tyler had been dumb enough to come by again.

I went to the door, unlocking it and wondering if I should have checked before I opened it. I peered around the door completely surprised at who was standing there. Jessica and Riley could have been standing there and I'd have been less taken aback. Hell, just about anyone could have been standing there and it wouldn't have thrown me for such a loop.

"Hey Angela…"


	10. Chapter 10

"C'mon in," I moved aside, opening the door wider to let her come in.

I made a quick assessment as she walked past me. Her hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, she was wearing black capris and a white shirt, flip-flops… simple… but she looked beautiful. I'd noticed it as soon as I saw her at the door… she was prettier every time I saw her. She was carrying a bottle of wine in one hand and in the other -the same Juicy Couture bag that I had. Common ground. Awesome.  
I closed the door behind her and she put her bag down, dropping her keys on top of it.

She held the bottle of wine up, "Peace offering?"

I laughed, "I didn't realize we were at war."

She considered for a moment, "Okay, that's true. Then it's a toast to getting to know someone."

"I can get behind that." I told her. I wasn't a huge fan of wine, but I wasn't about say that and get this whole attempt at socialization off to a bad start. I tried to think if there were even any wine glasses in the house that I'd seen or if we were going to have to sniff, swish, and sip out of beer steins or plastic souvenir cups picked up from a Badgers game.

She seemed to be reading my mind and went over to a cabinet and pulled out two champagne flutes, saying, "This is the closest we're going to get to wine glasses. I bought them and brought them over for an anniversary."

"Which anniversary?" I asked, watching as she pulled a corkscrew out of a draw. It just occurred to me that I had no idea how long she and Emmett had actually been together. He'd never bothered to tell me.

"Six months.. but that was a few months ago… it's been almost 9 months now." she told me, popping the cork on the wine and pouring some in both glasses.

"Impressive." I took the glass from her as she handed it to me. "So, a toast to us?"

"A toast to new friends." She said, smiling and clinking her glass against mine.  
The smile gave me made my heart hurt a little bit. She was so sweet… I could see why Emmett liked her so much. I took a sip of my wine, trying to push the feelings down… I was pretty sure it was jealousy… and said, "You know, I have to admit, I was really surprised when you were at the door…"

"I thought you might be… but… I want to get to know you… You're important to Emmett and that makes you important to me."

She sounded so sincere… I drained the rest of the wine from the glass… this was going to be kind of hard. I sat down at the table, "Well, what would you like to know? Be warned… I'm very honest, so if you don't want the answer to something, don't ask it." I said, laughing.

She sat across the table from me, still sipping her wine. "Okay, for honesty, I guess I should tell you that Emmett told me you never cheated on him."

I smiled – just a little. It was nice of him to 'fess up to that, but I doubted he'd given much more of his side of the story. "No, I didn't cheat on him. I did fuck his friends, but it was after we were broken up. I wouldn't have done that to him."

"I know… he told me you were the best relationship he'd had." She said it fairly easily, like it didn't bother her much. I couldn't help but think what a change that was from our initial meeting. Her expression changed a little, and she added, "I think he misses you sometimes."

I must have looked confused when she said that… because I was. I could see how he might have missed me during our non-speaking-Hilton-whore days, but now? Why would he?

"He says you two are so much alike… I think he just misses what you had sometimes." She said, trying to look at me as she spoke, but her eyes kept straying away.

"We ARE a lot alike, probably too much in some ways… which is probably another reason it didn't work out. I know that he loves you for so many things that I'm not… I never could be… he needs that balance." I told her.

Her expression relaxed almost immediately, like she just needed to hear that, to be reassured that I wasn't going to try to steal him away from her. "I do wonder what he was like with you… just because… you and I are so different… and you're so similar…"

That caught me a little off-guard. Was she saying she wanted to know what my relationship was like with him… or that she just got curious sometimes. I didn't volunteer any information… she was going to have to specifically ask for it.  
She looked like she was going to ask something, then decided against it and took another sip of her wine.

"So, I don't know anything about you. What kind of job did you have at home?"

I laughed. "Did. That sounds so lame. What did you do before you came out here to be a house sitter?"

"I didn't mean it like that!" she exclaimed, seeming to be honestly worried she might have offended me.

"I know… I was just commenting on my own life… nothing you said. I studied journalism in college… but I dropped out of college… to be a girlfriend… and then I got a job working with a real estate agent that I met when Emmett sold our house and then a mortgage broker that the agent worked with a lot asked me to come work for him…which is how I met Riley, the psycho.. and that brings us to…now." I told her, thinking how ridiculous my life sounded condensed like that.

She didn't say anything for a second, like she was trying to process everything I'd said. "You left school… for him?"

I nodded, "The way things were then… it was too much. He was too popular, the life was too crazy to be involved in that AND school… so that was it. I wanted to be with him… so I quit and I went with him."

"He's really careful with me… he doesn't want many people to know about us," she said.

I couldn't tell if she felt like that was a good thing or not. "Trust me, it's much, much better that way. If they don't know he's with someone, they won't be looking for him to cheat, publishing pictures of him standing next to a girl with a headline "He's a cheater!" They'll try and talk to you too… Look for the drama in you/your relationship/your life. Nothing can prepare you for the intense hatred of hundreds or thousands of people who've never met you."

She looked like she was thinking again. Then she asked, "Did you know who he was when you met him? Like when you got together, did you have any idea?"

"I knew he wanted this life, and I knew he was driven enough to do this, but I never expected how it would really be. I loved him, I was ready to deal with the random hatred and constant scrutiny because it meant being with him. Young love can be wreckless." I said, laughing a little. I was totally unprepared for everything about Emmett – I wasn't ready to deal with his career, I wasn't even ready to deal with being THAT in love with someone.

"How did you meet him?" she questioned, then took another sip of wine.

"He really didn't tell you much about us… me… did he?"

She shook her head, sort of slowly, like she was debating whether or not to say something. "Just a few things."

I waited to see if there was any more to that statement and when she continued to sip her wine and look expectantly at me, waiting for my answer, I guessed not.

"Okay... did you see the Santa Fe in the driveway when you got here?"

She nodded, "Yes, I did."

"That was the first present Emmett ever gave me." I said, smiling. The Santa Fe was my most cherished possession for that very reason. It was the first gift Emmett gave me, and it would always be the most meaningful, the one that held the most memories, and had symbolized the start of the most amazing time of my life.

"O-kay…"

I could tell she totally didn't get how this had any connection to the question.

"He bought me a car because he totaled mine. That was how we met… he ran a red light and just took out my car. Completely annihilated it… It was amazing neither of us really got hurt. Well, amazing I didn't get hurt, because his Durango barely got dented. So, I guess rather than going through the whole insurance deal… he just said he'd buy me a new one. We made a date to go car shopping… and I got a boyfriend out of it, too."

I'd been instantly attracted to him- he was so cute… and he turned out to be funny and easy to talk to. I wanted to be all practical and just get something basic like what I'd been driving before, but he insisted on going top-of-the-line… and I got the fully pimped out vehicle to prove it. Our first kiss had been that afternoon – in the SUV.

"That's a crazy story!" she said. She laughed a little when she added, "He can be a really bad driver!"

"Oh yeah. I insisted on driving everywhere for probably the first six months we were together." I told her. Eventually I relaxed some, let him start taking the wheel again.

"You were together a long time, weren't you?"

"Long enough." I replied, refilling my wine glass. I was already feeling shitty about he and I, and I was going to need to break out the bottle of 151 soon. I could have given her an exact number – in years, months, days, or probably even hours. It just seemed… unnecessary.

She got that look again, like she was trying to decide if she could/should ask me something.

"Angela, just ask… I'm not going to get mad. I'll tell you anything you want to know." I said. She needed to learn quickly that there was no hedging around me… I was upfront and honest and I wanted other people to be the same way.

"Okay…" she paused to smile and said, "I was sort of trying to figure out… how to ask. I don't even know exactly what I want to know. I guess… were you… surprised when things ended? Or did you see it coming?"

I started to answer her, but she didn't give me a chance, blurting out, "Did you think you'd marry him?"

Ah ha, so there was the real question. I gave her a wry smile. "I still own the dress that I bought… thinking when I married him… that's what I'd wear."  
A totally indecipherable expression clouded her face. I couldn't tell if she was thinking about something she'd done… or if she didn't like that I still had the dress.

"I think you've just successfully discovered the one secret that no one else knows about me." I told her, giving her what I hoped was a sweet, bonding kind of smile. "I never even told Emmett… We'd only talked about marriage a few times… because we were still so young, I guess. It always seemed like a possibility, but one that was so far away. I just saw this dress one day… it was actually for prom, I think… but it just seemed so perfect to me, for running away and getting married on the beach, which is what I always assumed we'd do… at least, when I let myself daydream about it. I still have it… and part of me thinks I'd still want to wear it if I got married."

I struggled to keep myself focused… I didn't want to go dazing off on her… and let her know that every now and then, I still allowed myself to entertain a fantasy of what That Day may have been like, had Nick and I ever gotten there.

When she didn't say anything, I felt like I needed to fill the semi-awkward (at least for me) silence. "I don't know that I ever really thought I'd marry him… I think I just hoped I would. I wanted to think that what we had was stronger than all the other shit and that we could be one of those happily-ever-after stories, despite all the evidence to the contrary."

She finally said, very, very quietly, "That's how I feel, too."

I began to wonder if her reactions were betraying her thoughts more than I realized… if maybe she saw her own fears reflected in the things I was saying.  
I reached over to put my hand on her arm.

"Angela… he's crazy about you. I can see him falling… from that first visit I made 'til the time I came out here to stay… I saw him change. He loves you. I have no idea how things will go for the two of you… but from what I see now… it looks amazing. Enjoy that… don't worry about what may or may not happen, especially based on how things went for me and him. He's a different person, in a totally different place in his life now. You've got the best version of him."

Her eyes were shiny when she looked at me and I thought, oh my god, I made her cry. She blinked a few times, like she was trying to stop any potential tears from escaping. When that didn't seem to work, she quickly wiped at her eyes.

"Sorry…" she said, chuckling a little. "Thank you for that… it's good to hear that… especially from someone who knows him as well as you do. It's one thing if my friends tell me… you know they say what you want to hear… and they don't really know him at all. But … I trust you… what you're saying about him."

I suddenly felt much more… affectionate, maybe?...towards her than I expected. It almost bothered me that I, apparently, really did like her as much as Emmett kept swearing I would. But how could I not? I impulsively leaned over and hugged her, relieved when she reciprocated and didn't freak out or push me off.

I let go of her and smiled. It was nice to think I may have made a potential friend.

"I think we're going to be good friends." she said, apparently having read my mind.

"I'd like that." I told her, very honestly.

"My friends totally don't understand where I'm coming from when I try to talk about him… so I stopped trying. So I'm glad you're willing to talk about him." she said, then quickly added, "But it won't be all about him, I promise!"

I laughed, "It's okay. I realize the prospect of the ex and the current girlfriend becoming friends is a weird one…But it can be done… We start with what we have in common… and right now, that's him… and branch out."

Angela got up and gathered the empty glasses, taking them to the sink. When she turned back around to look at me, she said, "I'm sorry I was so awful that first time I met you… It was just that…" She stopped talking completely, gave me a half smile, and finished by saying, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted like that."

I knew that there was something very specific she was going to add to that and decided against it… and it bothered me. A lot. She'd been almost ready to admit why her initial reaction to me had been so unfavorable, and then she decided against it. Dammit… I wanted to know!

"It's okay… if you didn't know what was going on… I can see how the situation would have been… unsettling." I said. "I'm sure I probably didn't make things any better. I don't always make the greatest first impression…" I chuckled, thinking of what her friends must have thought of me and how they'd probably all told her she was crazy if she'd told them she was going to come talk to me.

"I prefer second chances to first impressions." She said with a smile.

A thought occurred to me, "Are you going to tell Emmett about this?"

She looked a little mischievous, "Not just yet."

I laughed, "Alright… our little secret."

She hugged me again when she left, asking if I'd like to get together in a few days… to go out and do something. I said 'yes', of course, I was ecstatic at the prospect of someone to spend time with… and I was dying to know what was in all the "almost said"s… where I could tell she wanted to ask/say something and didn't.


	11. Chapter 11

"Just, ah, don't take your turns too wide or anything. I'm sure you wont."

"Your hair. Like how it's really soft, like in the back. I'm gonna miss that." I said, saying the line along with Claire Danes.

I sighed. Angela. Jordan. It was all so… 1995. Sort of like my own life, only minus the plaid. And the high schoolers. And the gay guy always around. Jordan breaks up with Angela, and then they get back together, and he has sex with her best friend, while her dorky neighbor pines for her. But it was enough to keep me entertained for a few days. "Entertained" was probably the wrong word…I bought My So Called Life on DVD when I saw it at Borders, thinking about how much I loved it when I was a teenager. Since the visit from Angela, (the non-Claire Danes version) there'd been little in the way of excitement for me.

All the kissing and high school romance was making me mopey, so I paused the screen on a good shot of Jared Leto and got up to go to the kitchen. I couldn't help but think of all the kisses I wasn't getting now… and the kisses I had gotten in the past. I should have known immediately about Riley… that he wasn't someone I should have been with…there was no spark, no magic in his kisses. Honestly, he was a pretty terrible kisser. At least for me. Maybe he rocked Jessica's world. The way Emmett had rocked mine. From the first kiss… it was electric. And every kiss after that – was the same… electrifying.

I opened the freezer and reached into the ice tray for a piece of ice to crunch on… a sure sign of sexual frustration, I've been told… and jumped a little when I heard my cell phone ringing with Emmett's ringtone.

"Every night I rush to my bed, with hopes that maybe I'll get a chance to see you when I close my eyes, I'm goin' outa my head…"* I sang along with the ringtone as I hurried to get the phone, I didn't want to miss him.

"What's up, fag?"

"Hey bitch…" he said, laughing. "I have to admit, I miss hearing that sometimes…"

"Because who doesn't love being verbally harassed?" I smiled. "I guess that means you need to call more."

"I know… I miss you… which is why I was calling…"

I giggled, "You needed the abuse?"

He snorted. "Yeah… you know how I like it."

"Yeah, baby… I know how to do you right." I said, half teasing and half wishing I actually could.

"No doubt," he mumbled, then quickly said, "I was wondering if you wanted to come out for a few days. I'm bored… the guys have been asking about you… I thought you might want a change of scenery…"

I interrupted him, "YES! When?"

He didn't need to give me reasons, or try to convince me, I was ready to go. Aside from the crazy girls who hated me, I loved being on the road.

And it would be nice to be around actual people for a while.

"Okay then… next Monday… I'll fly you out to meet me… I'll have a passport expedited to you in a few days. I'll be in meetings a bunch, so it's not going to be all that exciting…"

I jumped in again, "We always have fun on the road."

He chuckled a little, "Yeah, that's why I called. The house will be fine for a few days… I'll have Angela or someone stop by…"

"What about Angela? Is she going to freak out that I'm going to be with you?" I asked. I guess I could ask her, too, if I saw her again.

"No. It'll be fine…" he said, sounding more than a little unsure. "I mean, nothing's going to happen…" His words came out slowly, like he was thinking about something else as he said them… maybe remembering all the things that DID happen when we had hours alone on the bus.

"You're right, Emmett. It'll be fine," I assured him. It might kill me, but I'd behave… I wasn't going to fuck things up for him and Angela.

"Yeah. Okay. So, I'll get back to you about flights and stuff… I'm gonna call Angela… I'll talk to you later."

"Word…. Bye." I waited for him to say good-bye and hung up. I wondered about talking to Angela – I hadn't gotten her number or anyway to get ahold of her. I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to talk to her.

I went back into the kitchen, to get another ice cube to crunch on. Whether the ice theory was true or not, I was feeling all kinds of frustrated now. I knew what was going through Emmett's head… it was the same thing on my mind now. A lot of hours in hotel rooms… you get bored. Boredom leads to creativity. And nothing rivals hotel sex when it comes to creativity. I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face at the memory of some of the things we tried to pass the time. I should have put Emmett's artistic skills to use – he could have sketched the positions and we'd have made an updated Kama Sutra. I started crunching the hell out of the ice… I seriously had to find an outlet for this… energy.

Out of nowhere, a thought occurred to me and I went running to Emmett's office, and pulled out the business card drawer. I started flipping through them, and sure enough, close to the top, was a card for "Angela Weber, assistant to the director". Calling her at work wasn't ideal, but at least I could ask for her number at home or something.

I went to get the phone and dialed the number, totally not catching anything the extremely young-sounding receptionist rattled off.

"Hi, I'd like Angela Weber, please."

"Just one moment, please!" I heard, then a few clicks.

"Hi, this is Angela."

"Well, Angela, I'd really like your phone number." I said, figuring I might as well have a little fun with this.

"Excuse me?"

"You have a great voice, I'd love to get your number…"

"I hardly think this is an appropriate conversation, please do not call back…"

"Angela! It's Rosalie, calm down… I was just messing with you." I said.

"Rosalie? Oh my god… you ARE just like Emmett." She said, sounding much more relaxed than she had just moments before. Then it seemed to suddenly occur to her just how weird it was that I was calling her at work. "Oh no.. Emmett… is he okay? Did something happen to him?"

"Whoa… calm down…no… he's fine. I just got off the phone with him. I was just calling to see if I actually could get your number… I wanted to talk to you later and I didn't get it when you came over…" I explained.

"Oh, sure… sorry, I should have thought of that…" She gave me her number, and told me when she usually got off work, so I could call later in the afternoon.

When I got off the phone, I was at a loss for something to do again. Might as well get some exercise. I went to change clothes – slipping on a bikini top and booty shorts – if I was going to go running on the beach, I might as well give the boys a view they could enjoy.

-:-

I stepped out of the shower feeling good. I was exercised, I was cleaned, I was going to go see my Boys, I was… supposed to call Angela. I didn't bother to get dressed and went back to the kitchen, where I'd written her number down. I dialed and reached into the freezer for more ice to crunch while I waited.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Angela… it's Rose."

"Hey… Hi! What's up? You made me curious calling me earlier," she said.

"I didn't know how to get ahold of you… I found your business card in Emmett's stash…"

She interrupted me, "He has my card? Oh my god.. I gave that to him the night I met him…"

"You obviously made quite an impression." I told her.

She sighed, a content, happy sound, and I knew she was smiling. After a moment she said, "You want to get together again soon?"

Okay, I wasn't expecting that. "Yeah, sure…"

"Do you work out?" she asked.

Again, not expecting that. "Um, yeah. I run… I took kickboxing for years back home… I'd been thinking of trying to find a gym out here…. I just haven't yet…"

"You can come with me! I usually work out with Irina and Heidi, but they've started taking this stripping class or something and there is no way I'm doing that…"

"Stripping class?" My interest was piqued. I didn't really feel like I needed any help.. God knows I've never gotten any complaints… but stripping as a form of fitness? That is an idea I can get down with.

"Yeah, so weird, right? So, I'd love to have someone to work out with…" she kept talking, but I sort of stopped listening. Why would a stripping class be weird? Surely she didn't mean she wasn't into stripping…

"… maybe next week then?" I heard her asking.

"Next week? What?"

"Yeah, we can go to the gym next week…"

"Oh, right. Um, actually next week is what I was calling you about." Might as well get it out there.

"What about it?"

"Emmett is going to call you at some point, and tell you that I'm going to go hang out with him on the road for a while…" I paused to give her a chance to protest immediately, if need be.

There was silence and then she asked, "Did he ask you to?"

"Yeah."

She sighed again, but this time it wasn't a happy one. "I wish I could go with him… but he tells me it's better if I don't. He says he misses me…"

"Angela, I know he misses you. I know he just asked me because I've been there, done that and I don't have any other responsibilities right now. You have a job. You have a life. I don't." I stopped to laugh at myself, and continued, "People will see me while I'm out there… and they'll talk. It probably won't be good, but it will be good for you. They know me. They can talk all the shit they want about me… I don't care."

More silence. "You'll be spending a lot of time together, I guess?"

"Yes… and that was the main reason I wanted to talk to you before he did. I promise you have nothing to worry about. We know how to behave." I stopped just short of saying 'trust me' because I wasn't entirely sure that she should.

"I know… I trust you."

Ah, fuck.

-:-

I stared into the closet, looking at the somewhat limited selection of clothes that I had to choose from. When I'd left Madison, I hadn't been all that concerned with what I was bringing – I knew I wasn't going to see that many people and I just wanted to get the hell away. And since I'd been in Florida – I'd done plenty of shopping, but apparently not enough buying. I'd tossed all my cute stuff into my bag already… and it wasn't even half full. I went to the bed and flopped down across it. I didn't know why I was really worried – those guys knew me. They'd seen me looking like hell on toast…and they'd seen me look all kinds of amazing… so it wasn't like I really had to impress any of them. But I did want to look good… if for no other reason than those… girls. The fucking haters who would recognize me and still want to start shit… just because I was there. They'd make up whatever story they wanted to, just because they could. Ahhh, just like old times. I sat back up. I needed to go shopping.

-:-

"Hel…hello?" I said, grabbing the phone as I tried to jump on my suitcase again. I may have gone a little overboard with the shopping. Having a goal, or whatever it was, had made me a little… ambitious.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Emmett asked, probably hoping he'd interrupted something more interesting than he really had.

"Oh.. hey Emmett…" I started laughing as I rolled off the suitcase. "I'm just packing."

"Packing? Yeah, right." He laughed. "So you're ready to go?"

"Yes! I got the flight info, the address where I'm meeting you, and now I'm just trying to shove everything in my suitcase." I told him.

"You're only going to be gone for like, a week…" he reminded me.

I shoved the suitcase closed and hurriedly zipped it shut, saying "I realize this… but I also know there are going to be a lot of people looking at me."

"Yeah, I thought about that… I told Angela you were coming out… and she might hear things, but she should just ignore them…"

"I've been there, done that. They can't say anything new, except maybe to speculate that we were trying it again for some reason… and that would be good for Angela, anyway." I said, thinking carefully about what I was telling him, so I didn't mention anything about having spoken to Angela.

"That's true…" he said, sounding distracted, like he was either thinking about what I'd just said or.. something. "Hey, dad's trying to get my attention… I gotta go, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yep!" I hung up, put the phone back on it's cradle and hoisted my luggage off the bed. I was ready to roll.

-:-

I finally opened my eyes as the plane skidded across the runway and began to taxi to the gate. I was glad I had acquired such impressive flight-sleeping skills in my travels. I jumped up when the plane stopped and grabbed my carry-on bags and just about shoved an older couple out of the way to get off the plane. I was beyond excited now that I was close Emmett, close to the Boys (his business partners/best friends) – I'd always loved those guys, and as close to a part of my life that I'd have given anything to get back.

I watched out the windows as the cab went zipping towards the venue that Emmett had told me to meet him at. The place he'd been most recently working on/opening. At some point within my travel experience, I had determined that basically every city looks exactly the same around the airport. Even internationally. I slouched down in the seat, trying not to think of all the things that could have gone down on the seat. Knowing some of the things I'd done in the back of a cab… I can only imagine other people must have done the same things… or worse.

As we made it downtown – the cab driver had been talking almost non-stop since I'd gotten in the car – I started asking a few questions about the buildings we were passing. If he was going to talk, it might as well be about something I was at least a little interested in. City history did not prove to be his strong point, so I tuned him out again.

The cab approached the venue and I was surprised to find that I was going to have a little bit of a problem. There were already a cluster of cameras standing around near the doors, hoping for a glimpse of one of the guys for them to photograph/ask about the new place. It always entertained me, the way they'd wait… hoping for the extremely unlikely chance to meet them. The problem was – how was I going to get past them? I didn't want to get out of the cab and immediately have to deal with, "ROSALIE, ROSALIE, OVER HERE! ARE YOU AND EMMETT BACK TOGETHER? HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DATING AGAIN? DID YOU EVER REALLY BREAK UP?"

It seemed a little self-righteous to assume they'd care… but at the same time, if they were willing to hang out here by the doors 6 or 7 hours a day, it seemed like a fairly safe bet they probably would care.

The cab stopped as the driver announced "Here ya go, little lady!" I looked at him in the rearview mirror, like, 'did you seriously just say that?' But then I smiled and asked him to hold on just a second. I called Emmett's cell phone and waited for him to answer.

"What's up? Are you here?" he asked, as soon as I heard him pick up.

"Yeah, I'm outside… with a bunch of photographers. Can someone come out and distract them?" I asked.

He laughed, "Yeah, we haven't started yet… I'll come out… just come inside… I'll get someone to get your bags out of the cab."

"Thanks." I hung up and gave the cab driver my fare and a generous tip.

"Someone will come out and get my bags, okay?"

"Sure thing, beautiful."

I rolled my eyes and waited for the girls to start shrieking so I could get out of the car.

"EMMETT, EMMETT! CAN YOU TELL US ANYTHING ABOUT THE NEW CLUB? ARE YOU REALLY BRANCHING OUT IN TO ACTING?"

Well, that didn't take long. I got out of the cab and walked right past everyone – but not without taking a moment to giggle at Emmett and the cameras clicking all around I was in the door I saw a big guy I didn't recognize knocking on the cab driver's window and telling him to open the trunk.

"DAMN, girl!"

I spun around to see Edward looking me up and down. He held his arms open and I ran over to him squealing. "Oh my god, I've missed you!"

"The feeling is mutual, I assure you." He said, hugging me tight. His hand slipped down and grabbed my ass, causing me to giggle. "You know, I remember saying that when you and Emmett broke up… you were supposed to let me be the first to know…"

"Dude, you're always engaged when I'm single!" I teased.

"But you're single now, right?" he asked, his eyes bright with a mischievous look.  
I smirked, "I am indeed."

"Lucky me…" He gave me a kiss on the cheek, "We'll finish this conversation later… but I need to go rescue Emmett."

"Oh, that's a good plan… sacrifice yourself for him… he's probably not worth it…" I joked.

"Believe me, I know he's not," he said, laughing. He stuck his head out the door, "Emmett! Get back in here!"

I could tell from the wails of disappointment echoing through the door that he was trying to tell them he had to leave. I saw Edward jump out of the way as Emmett came bolting through the doors.

I laughed at his crazy expression as he came charging at me, scooping me up and swinging me around. "Awww, you DO miss me!" I gave him a few sloppy kisses on the cheek and wrapped my legs around him. "Thanks for the distraction…"

"Thanks for coming." He said, squeezing me in a hug. "Max is taking all your stuff back to the hotel, so you can sneak out if you want to go back and change or whatever."

I landed on the floor when he let me go, and looked at him indignantly, "Are you suggesting that I need to change?"

Edward appeared right beside him and said, "No, you do not need to change… unless it was into … something more comfortable…"

"And what's more comfortable than nothing?" I asked, giving them both a flirtatious smile.

"OOO-kay.. time to go back to work…" Emmett announced grabbing Edward by the shoulder and propelling him back toward the bar where millions of papers and design prints lay spread out in front of them.

I looked around at the new night club in the making, and Emmett standing with his partners and a group of unfamiliar business people. He was really doing it. This is what he'd always wanted. He looked so happy, so in his element. I smiled at my two boys, I was happy just to be around them… this week was going to be good for me.


	12. Chapter 12

I grabbed Emmett's hand as we walked into the club all dressed up, well aware of all the pictures being taken. I knew we'd be all over the internet in a matter of hours and I was fine with that… if I was being honest with myself, I'd admit I probably even wanted it a little bit. Everything about the night had been so good… it was like being right back there.

Then later, when Emmett caught sight of me while he was giving an interview and I watched him, the almost imperceptible, quick flash of his hand from his heart down his chest with the "I love you" sign. I doubted anyone else would have noticed it, except maybe the stalker girls who were at every opening, trolling the internet for pictures of him to plaster their walls. I squealed louder than I should have – but I was excited – he remembered. When I was on the road with him- any time I'd brave the cameras and the huge crowds to be with him, to support him– he made sure that I knew he'd seen me, even when he was being bombarded by journalists and photographers, that he was glad I was there. I loved watching him in his element, but sometimes, fighting the girls and cameras just hadn't been worth it… but whenever I'd see him do something that was just for me, it was always worth it. Once the girls behind me saw what he did and heard me – the question immediately became "What's she doing here?" I turned around and gave them a smug smile.

The 'haha, fuck you dumb bitches!' smile.

Emmett squeezed my hand and gave me a smile as we were led to the VIP area with Edward and a few others. He'd already told me he was excited to be able to party with me again. As I walked up the steps I felt a hand on my ass – one that couldn't belong to Emmett... I could see both of his. I turned around to see Edward right behind me, grinning.

"The view was so good… I had to pinch it and make sure I wasn't dreaming…" he said, chuckling.

I giggled at Edward and I heard Emmett mumble, "You're supposed to pinch yourself, dumbass."

We got a few tables and the boys dropped into the seats, giving their orders to the waitress who seemed to materialize out of nowhere. I didn't want to drink – I didn't need it, didn't want it… I was way too happy to mess with my mood. I went out on the dance floor to dance while the boys talked to a few people passing by. When I finally figured out how to do it, I made my way back over to them, maneuvered myself into the space between Emmett and Edward and carefully stepped up onto the booth, and gingerly put one foot between Emmett's legs and the other between Edward's. I smiled down at Emmett then Edward, making sure I wasn't going to fall off or over on either one of them, and then resumed my ass shaking, dropping down a little on one side then the other to make sure both of them could enjoy the show. I got applause from both and more than one groan from Edward.

I jumped down half-way through the next song, keeping balance in that position on the squishy seat was killer. As JT's "Summer Love" came over the speakers, Edward pulled me down, rearranging himself to place me ever-so-subtly in just the right position for a lap dance. I was glad to oblige – I was already getting more attention than I had in months, I had no problem returning the favor.

I slid off his lap at the end of the song, squeezing into the small spot between my two favorite men. I slipped my arms around both of them, giving them a squeeze. Edward responded by putting his hand high on my thigh and squeezing, while Emmett turned his head to kiss my temple. Yeah, a girl could get used to this.

I managed to sit through two songs and sip some sparkling water, but then I had to get up again as one of my favorite songs had come on. I grabbed Emmett's hand, trying to pull him up off the seat, as I sang along. "I just want to get your attention, hey girl. I really wanna be all up in your head…"

Emmett put up a really lame attempt at a fight to resist me, but I caught him smiling as he got up.

I led him out to the dance floor and stepped in front of him and his hands immediately went to my hips, guiding me as I moved against him.

"I ain't gotta do a lotta flexin'. Shorty, you already know what it is. And girl tonight we're gonna do a lot of sexin', can't nobody do your body like this. Oh I won't knock, won't ring no bells, you just float that bottom up in the air. I'll get you hot, I know you oh so well..." (*)

I still knew how he liked it, the way to switch up what I was doing to have him hard in no time… and it was still working. I could feel him against my ass every time I'd grind back at him… and it was killing me. It was up to him to be good at this point. I wasn't going to offer, but if he wanted me, he could have me. Repeatedly. I may have told Angela she could trust me, but… she probably shouldn't.

He grabbed my arm and spun me around, looking at me for a second, his eyes locked on mine. He was breathing heavy… I expected him – or just wanted him - to lean down and kiss me… but he didn't. He stepped back, saying, "Rosalie, I can't do this… I have… I can't…"

I didn't try to follow him or stop him when he walked away from me, back to the VIP area. Part of me was upset I'd lost my dance partner, but mostly, I was just pleased I could still wind him up like that.

Edward must have been watching us pretty intently, because I wasn't alone for more than a minute before he was standing in front of me, pulling me close to him. I gave him my sexiest smile and pressed myself against him.

-:-

An hour of dancing with Edward later, I was such a disaster… dancing with him is a lot like having really hot sex… you just want more. I hadn't completely forgotten about my desire to pounce Emmett, but I had become more than willing to transfer that energy to Edward. We went back to the booth where Emmett and the rest of our entourage were sitting, all finishing off bottles of beer. Emmett pointed to his watch, telling us it was about time to go. I was ready… I needed to go somewhere and get naked – with someone or alone – I had things to take care of.

Edward had my hand when we walked out and I grabbed Emmett's with the other. The three of them piled into the back of a cab and I slid in after them, perching myself on Emmett and Edward. I leaned back against them, my head resting on Emmett's shoulder. As we drove off, Edward gave my neck a playful nip, causing me to shudder. I let him tease me for most of the ride back to the hotel, while I pondered my options.

As soon as the cab stopped, Emmett jumped out and pulled me with him. I couldn't tell what the expression on his face was – it looked a little like annoyance, but it could have been a little bit of jealousy, too, maybe? I followed Emmett into the hotel, with the others not far behind. I was well aware of the people watching us… there were always those fans that hung around in the lobby, just waiting. I saw a few camera flashes and heard them shouting into their phones, "It is SO HER!" and "OHMYGOD they are NOT back together, are they?" I saw Emmett glance at me, like he was wondering how I was going to react. I waved at the girls I saw staring at me – why not play with them a little bit? They could think whatever they wanted… it was kind of fun for me, and it was better for Angela that way.

As we rode the elevator up to our floor, I entertained myself by being obscene in the mirror on the ceiling. All of the boys were snickering when they saw what I was doing. I wasn't feeling any less frisky, but I was getting a slightly better handle on it. Slightly. Eric and Mike got off the elevator first, wishing us 'good night' and giving me a very chaste kiss on the cheek.

Edward and Emmett were staying on the same floor – it was cute how they managed to always stay in close proximity to each other. Truth be told, I think they'd be a little lost without the other one fairly close by. I'd been planning on staying in Emmett's room, but I didn't want to assume anything at this point. We walked off the elevator and discovered that the rooms were actually on opposite ends of the hall. Emmett grabbed my hand again to take me with him – but I pulled away to give Edward a good night hug.

As he pulled me close to him, he whispered in my ear, "Come to my room." I looked at him and immediately noticed the devious sparkle in his eyes. Hey, maybe I WOULD get what I wanted tonight. I nodded and said I'd be there in a few and then went back to Emmett. We walked down the hall past a few rooms in silence then he said, "Um… are you gonna shower when we get in there… or….?"

It took me a second to figure out, but then I realized, "You're going to call Angela and don't want to me eavesdropping on your phone sex?"

He blushed a little bit and I knew I was right. I stopped walking, reached to give him a hug and a kiss and said, "It's cool… I'm going to Edward's room."

He said, "Thanks… just give me 30 minutes or so."

I laughed, "You really think you'll last that long?" He frowned at me, and I apologized. "I know… you can go all night."

"Damn right."

He was appeased by that, so I figured I should just ask and get it out of the way. "Will you be totally pissed if I fuck Edward?"

I watched his eyes go wide in shock. His mouth was moving, but no sound was coming out, as his face took on a very "what the fuck?" kind of expression. I took a few steps back and said, "Just go call Angela," and walked quickly down the hall. Admittedly, I was a little entertained by his reaction and even more so when I stopped at Edward's door to knock and looked back down the hall to where I'd left Emmett and he was still standing in the same spot, looking incredulously in my direction. I gave him a little wave as Edward opened the door, then grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the room.

-:-

I was still trying to wake up when I made my way out to the buses the next morning. The wake up call in the hotel room had startled me so much I'd actually shrieked, causing Edward – who was already awake – to crack up. I should have gotten up earlier, so I actually could take a shower, but … not so much on that. Edward gave me a hug and said he'd talk to me later as I ambled over to Emmett's room and I blew him a kiss, then tapped on the door. As I waited for it to open I wondered what Emmett had done last night. Did he tell Angela I was with Edward? Had he been curious about what we were doing?

He opened the door, and then went back the "kitchen table", scribbling words in a notebook. I slid in across from him and waited for him to look up at me.

He ignored me for a good 15 minutes . I caught glimpses of the words he was writing – lyrics I figured, when I saw musical notations out to the sides of the stanzas- and suspected they might have had a little something to do with me. He paused for a second to give me a quick, squinty glance and went back to writing.

I got tired of waiting for him to speak to me and got up, going to fling myself on one of the beds. Just when I had nearly dozed off, Emmett appeared and slid into the bed beside mine, looking over at me.

"Wild night?" he asked.

I glanced over him, then settled myself again. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I brought you out here to keep me company, not for you to start fucking my friends again."

"RAWR!" I growled as I rolled over to face him,

"Someone's a bitchy little attention whore this morning."

"I am not a… bitchy little attention whore." He said, like it bothered him to even say the words because he knew I was right. "I'm just saying, I wanted you here to hang out with me and then, you're here like six fucking hours and you're already… starting shit."

"Starting shit?" I gave him a look, "This is how it is Emmett… you fuck Angela… I fuck whoever I want. We broke up, remember?"

He looked at me for a few seconds, then looked away, saying, "that doesn't mean I have to like it."

I had to fight not to smile at his comment. I liked that he was in a little bit of a snit about things… it was comforting for me to know that I wasn't the only one who hadn't quite managed to let everything go. I think it's like that… when you come out of an intense relationship, part of it stays with you… no matter who else you're with.

I slid off my bunk and pushed him over so I could lay next to him. "Well, you can relax… you don't have to worry about it."

"You didn't fuck him?" he asked, already sounding a little relieved.

I shook my head, "No. We just talked all night… we had a lot of catching up to do. I might have had sex with him, if he'd wanted to, but I think that when he got to thinking about it, it was probably too weird for him to think about being with me after you had. Guess you guys don't need to share everything."

He let out a sarcastic laugh, "For real."

-:-

I watched his eyes slowly drifting closed, just waiting. I knew he was tired, and from the way he'd been fighting to keep his eyes open, the next time they shut, they'd stay that way for at least a little while. As soon as his eyes were closed, I held my camera up and took a picture, unable to stop myself from giggling as it showed up on my display screen.

At the sound of me laughing, his eyes snapped back open and glared at me. "Did you just do what I think you did?"

I flashed the camera at him, just long enough for him to see the picture and then snatched it back, still laughing. "Rose! What the hell? I'm gonna get one of you…" he threatened.

I laughed harder, "Nobody cares what I look like with my head all foiled up like I'm getting radio reception from Jupiter. But you… you, my pretty, I'm gonna sell this to freakin' US Weekly… make some money off your ass." He just flipped me off and slid back down in the cushy salon chair. He knew I wouldn't really do anything with the picture, he just wanted to pitch a fit about it. I pressed a few buttons to make the picture the background on my phone and smiled at it.

I'd smiled more this week than I had in a long, long time. Being with the Boys – but especially being around Emmett – was just good for me. They were so much fun, and so funny together, that you couldn't not have a good time. Edward was especially good for my ego, but beyond that, I loved to talk to him. He'd always been the one I'd gone running to if something wasn't right between Emmett and I or if we'd been in a fight. He was always good to me and I was glad to see time and marginally awkward circumstances hadn't changed that.

I got ushered over to the dryer and told to sit underneath it for five minutes. I wasn't sure how Emmett lucked out without having to get the heat-blaster head-prison torture-chamber… maybe because he was just touching up and I was adding color. I'd decided to put some super white blonde streaks in my hair after I'd been inspired by the many sluts I'd seen in the past few days. They may have been skanky, but they had great hair.

I'm sure it was those same girls that were talking all the shit about me online, but I wasn't particularly concerned, since reading them had provided some excellent entertainment on the long trips between cities. Emmett and I had been entertained to learn that we'd been seen making out at clubs we'd never been to and groping each other at stores we'd never heard of. It was so much easier this time somehow… the lies just didn't bother me.

The problem now was… when I was out here… on the road, with these guys… I felt like I belonged. I fit in. I felt it all the way through, it was a complete, whole feeling… that I never got anywhere else. And knowing that tomorrow I was headed back to an empty house… in a city I was still basically unfamiliar with… the black clouds were starting to gather over my aluminum-foiled head.

I sighed, one of the reasons I hated these dryers was because with nothing else to do… I started thinking. Thankfully, the girl working on my hair came back over and popped the dryer off, taking me over to be rinsed.

Emmett was already over there – I have no idea how I missed him walking in front of me – he was all relaxed, looking practically blissful as the girl massaged his scalp while she got the bleach out of his hair. I was smiling again as I dropped down into the chair and leaned back, I still had some time with me… he still made me happy. I could be okay with this.

I finished drying off after I got out of the shower and slipped on the t-shirt of Emmett's I'd stolen, padding back out into the room. He was stretched out on his bed, shirtless, wearing only basketball shorts, flipping through the channels on the tv. I was glad my last night out with them was back in a hotel. We'd gone out clubbing again and I'd danced with everyone…some more chastely than others. The night had been great and now I wanted nothing more than just a chance to chill out with Emmett a little bit longer.

I sat down on the edge of 'my' bed and flopped back. I'd been good, since we'd been sleeping apart every night I hadn't really had to fight a whole lot of temptation. However… he was looking pretty delicious currently. He looked over at me and gave me a sleepy smile.

"I love you. You know that, right?"

I smiled back at him, nodding. "I know. I love you, too."

He scooted over on the bed and patted the space where he'd just been laying. "You wanna sleep over here tonight?"

I was crawling onto the bed immediately, lying beside him, and then rearranging myself to have as much body-to-body contact as was possible. He reached across me to turn off the light and draped his arm over me, holding me to him. He kissed the back of my neck – sending chills down my spine … and other places… and told me good night. I closed my eyes, perfectly content… lying in his arms, feeling him breathe against me… I started to think, if home is where the heart is, it only made sense that I felt at home wherever he was. And I'm pretty sure my last lucid thought was wondering if I was totally stupid for still letting him hold my heart so completely.


	13. Chapter 13

I drove back from the airport, wondering how only a week away had made these streets look so unfamiliar. It was probably because even though I was starting to know my way around Tampa… I still wasn't really comfortable with it. I realize things like that come with time, but I'd always been impatient.

As soon as I was pulling into the driveway, I pretty much got insanely depressed. I was back… alone and facing infinite amounts of boredom again. Fuck.

-:-

I was only about half-way done packing when my cell phone rang. I grabbed it, singing along with the song as always, "What's up, Emmett?"

"I'm… BATMAN!"

I responded as if it was the most regular conversation in the world, "No, I'M BATMAN!"

"Then who am I?"

"Batman's pansy-ass sidekick?"

"Why am I the pansy-ass sidekick?" he asked, indignantly.

"Because I'm BATMAN!" I shrieked.

There was a pause and he said, "You probably were the better Batman."

"Probably?"

"Alright, alright… you were." he relented, chuckling.

I was smug now, and more depressed than I had been upon arriving back here. "Thank you… now what brought that on?"

"I've just been sitting around waiting here in the hotel room and turned on the tv to see what was on… and here the movie was… wasn't to that part yet, but of course, it made me think of you and the sheets…" He laughed again, but it wasn't an entirely happy laugh. I figured it was because he was thinking the same things I was and missing those times.

"Oh the sheets…" After we'd seen "Batman Forever" I sometimes randomly felt compelled to jump up on beds and grab the sheets, holding them around my arms to flap like batwings while proclaiming that "I am Batman!" a la the insane-asylum version of the Riddler. It never failed to crack Emmett and me up completely.

"Hold on… here it is!" he said, and I could tell he moved the phone away from his ear and put it near the tv so I could hear Jim Carey.

We both laughed and then there was silence again as the closing credits song came on. I don't know what it was about that song, but it never failed to result in spontaneous clothing removal and crazy sex.

I wanted to be touching him so badly. I wasn't sure why either of us wanted to do this to ourselves… but somehow it was better that he was doing it, too… it wasn't just me that was back there again.

"I wanted to…" he said, softly.

"I know, I did, too…" Practically every time he'd looked at me, I'd wanted to. Wanted to tear his clothes off, kiss his entire body, feel him on me, against me, inside me.

"And not even just that night... when we were dancing… you were killin' me…but, like, every time I looked at you… I couldn't… not think about it."

"I know…" I knew he wanted to… I'd seen it in his eyes, just as much as I'd felt it in my own body.

"I miss you."

"I miss you, too." I couldn't say anything else… there was too much to say and not enough words.

In the silence, I couldn't tell if I wanted to hang up and cry, or beg him to reconsider all the decisions we'd made about us.

-:-

After we'd gotten off the phone, I gave up on unpacking. I couldn't do it anymore and I just didn't care. I was so mixed up and really I just sort of felt… guilty. I wasn't trying to mess things up with him and Angela… and maybe I wasn't even making the mess I thought I was. Just because he thought about me… or maybe even just sex with me… didn't mean that there was anything else going on.

But it also didn't mean there wasn't anything either. I went back to my bags to get my MP3 player and then stripped down to my panties, then slid in bed. I put the earphones in my ears and curled up with the pillows. I was going to give myself tonight to wallow and that was it. Tomorrow it was over.

I skimmed the songs until I found the one I wanted to hear, put it on 'repeat' and waited to fall asleep… and probably have some fucked-up dreams about being with Emmett again… just like I'd had for the past week.

"Snow falls on the city, white on white. It's the color of hope on an unforgiving night... You kissed me in to ruins, sin on sin... I can't tell the stars from the downtown lights... If I said I was truly over you, my heart would say 'amen' but I'd give in to the cold caress of 2am... If I admit I can't get used to this, will my heart break again? ... I'm gathering up the nights, black on black, I know your voice like it's my own, and it makes my heart go slack..."

-:-

I sat bolt upright in bed the next morning, disconcerted by the phone ringing. I figured there was no way Emmett would be calling now, so I had no idea who it would be. I reached for the phone, and picked it up, "Hello?"

"Rosalie? It's Angela…"

Oh… she wasn't wasting any time. "Hey Angela…"

"I woke you up, didn't I? I'm sorry…"

"No, you're fine…" I looked around for the clock, surprised it was only 7:23 am. Okay, she was a little too early.

"I got to work a few minutes ago and I just couldn't wait to call you.. I wanted to hear everything. Is he okay? Is he sleeping enough? Is he eating healthy?"

I finally sat up and had to laugh at her, "He's fine… he's on the road, which means he doesn't sleep much and he eats whatever someone puts in front of him."

"Oh… I didn't… I don't really know… how it is … out there," she said, softly.

"I know, I didn't mean to sound like that… sorry. It's just… totally not like real life. It might as well be another dimension or something." I told her.

"Can I… can I come over tonight? After work? Or we could go to dinner somewhere, maybe?"

"Yeah… but let's go out… there's no food here…" I said. She gave me the name of a restaurant and directions and we agreed to meet when she got off work. I hung up with her and got out of bed, knowing I'd never get back to sleep.

The day actually went much quicker than I expected it to. I kept busy, though, and I'm sure that made the time go faster. I unpacked, did laundry and ran to the grocery store, while waiting for my pictures to be developed at the one-hour photo place. I'd had all of them printed for me, to add to the scrapbook that was sort of the unfinished chapter of Emmett and I, and had doubles made of most of the shots for Angela, so she could get a little idea of what the week had been like. I'd left a few out… she didn't need to know that I'd snapped a shot of him while he was sleeping naked or when I'd ambushed him coming out of the shower.

I was running a little late when I finally got on the road to find the place she'd wanted to meet…but nothing I couldn't blame on the highly reliable rush hour traffic. The restaurant was more of a café and it was practically hidden – I drove past it once, completely missing it. When I finally found a place to park and got inside I immediately knew this would have been some place that Emmett would have loved.

I found Angela sitting at a table near the window, her back to the sun, so she was sort of illuminated by the sun shining in the window. I slid into the booth across from her, "Hello, angel."

She gave me a quizzical look, "What?"

"The way you're sitting here with the light behind you… you look like an angel in one of those religious paintings my great-grandma had all over her house."

"Thank you?"

I had to laugh at her, she was so…uncertain about me still. "That was a compliment." I smiled at her, "This place is cute…"

"Yeah, it's one of my favorites… Emmett showed it to me," she told me.

I nodded, "It seems like his kind of place."

She looked at me in a way that seemed sort of sad and said, "I don't think I'm ever going to know him as well as you do."

Uh oh. I'd managed to get over feeling guilty, but apparently, she was going to help me with a few new reasons. I protested, though, "Angela… I've just known him longer… and in some ways, I know you know him better and know things about him that I don't.. just because you and I are different and see different things in him and bring out different parts of his personality."

She thought about this for a second, and then seemed to let it go. She took a sip of her water and asked, "So, how was it?"

"It was good… entertaining as always…" I said, grabbing my bag to find the pictures I'd brought for her. When I glanced up at her, she looked like she was waiting for more, like surely I wouldn't say that and just leave her hanging. "…and I printed some pictures for you."

Her face totally lit up. "You did?

"Yeah, scoot over…" I waited as she slid over in the booth and I moved to sit next to her, so I could explain what was going on in some of the shots. More than a few of the pictures contained images that I was willing to bet no one would have been able to figure out what was going on, had they not been there.

It took almost two hours to get through all the pictures, explaining them, telling stories, pausing for me to laugh so hard I was about to cry. I could tell Angela was enjoying the vicarious experience, but was also more than a little upset she hadn't been there herself.

When she'd put the photos away, she said, "It's been hard for me since he's been gone, but last week just seemed… really bad. Knowing someone else was out there with him and I couldn't be… I was just… jealous."

What was I supposed to say to that? "I'm sorry, Angela… I don't want you to feel that way. Yes, it was fun, but… at the same time… it reminded me why it was so miserable the first time around." I whipped out my phone and got online, going to the site Emmett and I had spent the most time on, amazed at the amount of shit about me that had been posted in the week I'd been out there with him. I pulled up a particularly harsh thread of commentary and handed it to her. "Here, read this." I told her, then waved the waitress over to get a refill on my drink.

I watched Angela's face register the shock of just how cruel some of the posts were. The speculation about my relationship with Emmett was nothing… the attacks on everything about me as a person were almost unreal. I sipped on my soda while she read a little more and then handed the phone back to me.

"They're vicious…" she said, quietly.

I nodded. "Yeah, they are. There's a lot of nasty little bitches out there… but you've got to remember, they're just jealous. We have... or had… what they want the most."

She cracked a small smile, "I don't think I've ever had reasons for anyone to be jealous of me before."

I probably looked at her like she was crazy, "Are you serious?"

She seemed genuinely surprised I'd protested that comment, "What do you mean?"

"I mean… I don't even know you that well… and I can tell you're the kind of woman I'd want to be when I grow up. You're beautiful, you're gracious and unassuming and… " I paused to laugh a little, "almost everything I'm not, personality-wise."

"Why would that make you jealous?" she asked.

I thought for a moment, trying to find a good way to say what I wanted to tell her. I finally just said, "Because I know there will always be… people… who will prefer someone like you… instead of someone like me."

By 'people', I basically meant 'guys'… and by 'guys', I really kind of meant 'Emmett'. I knew I'd never be able to get him back, especially not having been with someone like her.

After I said that, there was a long silence, that stretched well into the point of being awkward, and she had one of those looks on her face like she did the first time we had talked just the two of us… like there was something she really wanted to say, but just didn't know if she should. When I couldn't take it anymore, I told her, "Angela! Just SAY it!"

She looked a little startled that I'd caught on to her internal debate. She looked at me, took a deep breath and said, "I can say the exact same thing."

Now I had no idea what was going on. "Same thing as… what?"

"That there will always be people… men, whoever, that will prefer someone like you… rather than someone like me," she said.

I laughed a little, "Yeah, I guess it does go both ways. There probably is some crazy guy out there that's looking for a loud-mouthed, awkward bitch like me."

"I actually can't imagine there are many guys who wouldn't want you, Rosalie," she said, her voice much quieter than she'd previously been speaking.

"Oh believe me, they're out there." I said, more as an automatic response, because what she'd said had thrown me for a loop.

She was quiet again for a moment, and I worried we were headed back to long-uncomfortable-pause territory, but then she asked, "Can we go somewhere else?"

"Um… sure…" I put money on the table for a tip, and got up, wondering what she had in mind… and why she wanted to go somewhere else for whatever it was.

When we got out to the parking lot, she stopped at my car, asking, "Is it okay if we go to my apartment? It's not too far from here…"

"Yeah… that's fine…" I agreed, thinking this must be one hell of a conversation… or something… we're about to have if we're going back to her apartment for it.

I waited for her to get into her car – a cute little champagne-colored coupe – and then followed her to her apartment. The complex was nice… it actually kind of reminded me of the place I'd lived when I first moved to Tampa… but nicer. I took a deep breath as I got out of the car, I really had absolutely no idea what was going on. Did she want to talk about something she wasn't comfortable with discussing in public? Was she going to pitch a fit and scream and yell and call me an evil whore? Okay, that seemed kind of unlikely, but it did cross my mind.

She waved me over to her car, and said, "It's that one… right there…"

I looked over to where she was pointing, and realized that I would have been able to guess which one was hers, even if she hadn't told me. Outside her door was one of those old-fashioned metal milk cans with a brightly-colored flower sprouting out the top of it and a whiskey barrel, turned on its side, with a deep green vine creeping around it. It was cute without being cheesy and just made her little porch area look much more inviting than the other un-decorated ones around it.

She unlocked the door and told me to come in and make myself at home. I sat down on the loveseat, scanning the pictures on the walls while she went into the kitchen. Nothing about the room really surprised me… it was pretty simple, elegant… and seemed to be an accurate reflection of what I'd learned about her so far.

She came back into the room and sat down beside me, putting the pictures I'd given her on an end table, glanced at me and started talking. "I debated, whether I should say anything, or ask you the questions I wanted to… I had myself convinced not to… I thought maybe it would be too… forward. But I've kind of come to the conclusion that nothing seems to be off-limits with you, so even though it might be something I'd never ask anyone else, even my… friends… I think I could probably talk to you about it…"

She paused abruptly and I just stared at her, unable to imagine what the hell she wanted to ask me.

There was silence again and this time I just couldn't take it. "Angela! Just ask me… whatever it is… just ask. I won't get mad…and I'll be honest, I swear."

She looked at me and then looked away, and asked, "What was it like for you?"

Huh? "What was… what like for me?"

"Your relationship with Emmett… before there were people always wanting to take his picture and you weren't dealing with all that other stuff… what was it like?" She glanced over at me and waited this time.

I thought for a moment and said, "I think… we were that couple that you saw on the beach...and wanted to be them... because everything about them was just... easy. It always looked that way... even when it wasn't."

"Like you belonged together…" she said, softly.

And I thought I was a masochist… I had nothing on Angela. It was one thing to reminisce over my own past, but to dig through someone else's? Someone who was your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend? That's a whole new kind of self-torture.

"Angela… you've never seen yourself with him… it looks just as good."

She sighed, "You're just saying that to make me feel better."

I looked at her, "Do I really seem like the kind of person who says things to make people feel better?"

"Not really." She admitted, laughing a little.

"There you go… now you got anything else for me?" I realized as soon as the words had left my mouth, I probably shouldn't have gone there.

"You know.. that first time we met… when I freaked out a little… when I found out who you were… that you'd been staying with Emmett?"

I snickered, "Yeah, I think I'm going to remember that for … quite a while."

She blushed, "I'm sorry… that was… so rude of me…"

"I understand… I probably wouldn't have reacted very well, either… he should have told you more." I said.

"It wasn't just that he hadn't told me what was going on, I had this pre-conceived idea of you and what you were here for and what you'd be doing with him… because of something I'd heard him say… about you."

I looked at her, "And what was that?"

"He was telling someone that he liked everything about me… but he wished…" she stopped, her expression told me whatever was coming next was probably going to really hurt her to say it, "that I was more like you… in bed."

Oh. I didn't know what to say to that, because… I could see it. I could hear him saying it, and believed it was probably true… he may have thought she was perfect in every other way… but I was probably more his… type when it came to sex. And I felt that Angela was justified in her initial feelings toward me… I'd have hated to meet the girl I'd have heard that about, too.

When I didn't say anything, she said, "I know that his taste is… wilder… than mine… so I guess I just wanted to know… what was that like… with you and him?"

There was no good way to answer that question. At this point, though, I didn't know what difference it would make – she'd already heard from him that it was better. I had to think again, how could I even put that into words for her.

"It was… I don't know… hardcore?" I laughed a little, that didn't really cover it either, though. "It was … our strong point? When it was over, I always felt… used up. But in the most… amazing way… like he'd taken everything from me… and made it his…"

I felt a little flushed, just from thinking about it and the way Angela was looking at me told me very clearly she'd never felt like that before.

"It's different with everybody, Angela…" I said, lamely trying to make her feel better. I knew it was different with everyone... and for me, it had never been as good as it was with Emmett.

"I know…" she whispered, that waver in her voice like there were tears not far behind. She took a few deep breaths and said, "I'm sorry… I know… I'm the one who brought it up…"

"You're fine… don't apologize… I'll be honest with you about whatever you ask… but if you don't want to talk anymore about … this or at all, it's fine." I kind of wanted to hug her, but I didn't figure she'd be a big fan of me touching her right now.

"I think I've asked enough questions for today," she said, standing up. "Thanks for meeting me today and thanks so much for the pictures.. I enjoyed all the stories about them…"

I stood up and grabbed my purse, taking her hint. She was much nicer than she had to be, but she was very clearly telling me my visit was over. "I'll talk to you later, Angela… whenever you want to talk to me again." I told her as I was walking out the door.

She nodded and gave me a little wave when I got to my car.

Driving off, I really felt pretty bad. I didn't want to lie to her, but in retrospect, I realized I probably should have. There was probably some subconscious, evil part of my brain that was telling me to say those things, just to prove that even though she had him now, I'd had things better.. which is probably exactly how it sounded to her. No wonder she wanted to get rid of me.


	14. Chapter 14

I yelped as I jumped out of bed, having been totally freaked out by the feel of the mattress sinking behind me. "WHOA… calm down… Rosalie, it's just me!" Emmett said, flicking the night-stand light on.

I let out a deep sigh of relief. "Oh thank GOD…" I had no idea who else I had expected would be sliding into bed with me, but having been asleep, anyone sneaking up on me was startling. "Wait… what the hell are you doing here?" I asked, jumping back on the bed and pouncing on him, straddling his hips.

"Can't a guy sleep in his own bed?" he laughed, wrapping his arms around me.

I put my hands above his shoulders, my hair tumbling around us as I looked down at him. Damn, this brought back memories. "As long as he doesn't expect me to get out of it…"

"I'm really hoping you won't." he replied, biting his lip. I recognized that look. He wanted something, but what, I didn't know exactly. My heart was already beating faster, from the things running through my head. All I'd have to do was scoot back… just a little… and ease myself down…

"I really want to kiss you…"

Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

He has to know I can't say no to this. I just kept staring at him, waiting for something. I wouldn't make the first move, but I wasn't going to tell him 'no' either.

"Is a kiss cheating?" he asked, in a whisper.

I bowed down just a little closer to him, "Do you want it to be?"

What happened next all depended on his answer. If he said 'yes', I'd get off him, go sleep in the other room, done. If he said no… it was on.

He didn't say anything, but shook his head 'no', his hand slipping around the back of my neck to draw me closer to him.

The first touch of my lips to his was like heaven… electricity jolting through my body, my mouth desperate for his. The kisses started out frantic, urgent… rough. His hands were in my hair, tugging and guiding me, keeping me exactly where he wanted me.

I had to pull away from him, for only a second, gasping for air. I briefly contemplated if it was possible to get off just from kissing… I already felt like I was dangling on an edge. He looked up at me, breathing just as hard as I was and rolled on top of me. He hovered over me, momentarily, then was settling his weight on me, pressing his body into mine and kissing me again… but then it was different… just as intense, but deeper, more sensual. The kind of kisses that lovers share… our lustful, teenager-ish warm-up had only been the beginning.

I don't know how long he kissed me or at what point our hands started roaming… but I knew beyond a doubt that I'd never wanted him more than I wanted him right then. I figured the feeling was mutual, I could feel him, hard, pressed against the inside of my thigh. When his lips left mine and started trailing down over my jaw and to my neck, I couldn't help the moan that escaped when he lingered on my favorite spot… and I knew we were both in trouble. He knew exactly what he was doing and I wasn't about to even begin to protest. He could have me… all of me… any way he wanted me.

When his hands started slipping up under the jersey of his that I had stolen to wear as pajamas, I was gone. His thumb brushed over my nipple and my back was arching, my whole body was on fire, I was prepared to beg for him to keep touching me. He was tugging at the shirt like he was going to pull it up over my head and I wondered how far he would actually take this. I felt his ragged breaths, warm over my chest, and the goose bumps that spread over my body because of it.

I held my breath as I watched his head dip down, ready to lick or bite at me, and suddenly he was pulling the shirt back down and moving away from me.

"I have to go see Angela," he told me, an odd tone to his voice.

I tried my best to sound calm, like I was fine with this, like it was no big deal that I felt like the wind just got knocked out of me. "It's the middle of the night, Emmett… she has to work. Just wait a few hours and send flowers to her office, call her at lunch and surprise her."

He was out of bed, pacing. "I'm sorry, Rose… I shouldn't have… I just… god, I wanted… still want… you so bad… I can't be that close to you right now…"

I got up and went to him, gently propelling him back toward the bed. "You sleep here… I'll be in the other room. I'm glad you're home for a little while, I love you, good night."

I left the room as quickly as possible, pulling his door shut behind me. I stopped and leaned against the wall beside it, taking a deep breath, hoping it would prevent the tears from falling. My whole body was still tingling, aching for him. I whimpered to myself… god, that had been so fucking good… and so bad. It reminded me, full-force, of everything I wanted, and exactly what I couldn't have.

I slid down the door, the tears finally falling. I was shaking so badly I couldn't stand any longer. It wasn't until I felt the cold hardwood floor on my cheek that I realized it was happening again. I was going to lose him again. And once more, the world I was slowly trying to rebuild had toppled over, like a house of cards in a hurricane.

-:-

I couldn't get back to sleep. At all. I was still wide-awake as the sun starting streaming through the window, spilling across the bed. I was sure that was – easily – the most miserable night that I'd spent. I hated that he was so close and I'd almost had him… I did have him, but not the way I wanted him… I couldn't have him.

I didn't know how long I laid on the floor, just staring… But I finally pulled myself up and went to brush my teeth, listening for any sign of other life in the house. I peeked in his bedroom and then out in the garage – he was gone. No note, no good-bye, he was just gone. Maybe I _had _dozed off at some point, because I surely would have heard him come out of his room, being that I was laying on the ground right in front of it.

The sickly feeling came over me as I realized he must have seen me. Tear stained face, laying on the floor like some helpless damsel. I put my hands over my face, feeling so embarrassed.

I puttered around the kitchen, putting together a lame-ass breakfast even by my standards and trying to keep my mind occupied. But it wasn't working. I hopped up on the counter, nibbling on my Cheetos and couldn't help but wonder. Was he mad? At me? At himself? Did he wish I'd stayed with him, even though he'd asked me to leave? I did… I wished with every cell in my body that I'd ignored him and had stayed. I may have promised Angela I'd behave, but really… what loyalty did I have to her? I probably should have had some, but I was much more concerned with my own desires… hell, they'd become needs at this point… than I was about her. If that made me an evil bitch, so be it. But god, did I wish I'd stayed. Even after he'd told me that he couldn't be close to me, I knew I could have changed his mind, could have silenced his doubts with one more kiss, with a touch that I knew he couldn't resist. I could have. What the hell had made me get up and leave?

I knew what it was… it had been him… the look of doubt and confusion on his face. Like he was repulsed by what just happened. By me. That look had made me want to just run away screaming and crying. But for the sake of not looking weak, I held it together, calmed him down and got the fuck out as fast as I could.

I was suddenly in the mood to just start running.

-:-

I pulled open the shower door, after the second longest run of my life. He'd left his board shorts in a wet heap in the corner of the shower. I guess he'd gotten up to either go swimming or surfing this morning. Wish I could have seen that. I turned the water on, picked up his shorts and rung them out, then tossed them in the sink before I stepped under the spray. I couldn't help but smile at the thought of him in those shorts. I'd always thought board shorts on guys were practically… magical. There was just something so sexy about the way they hung just so on their hips and the way they clung to all the right places when they were wet. They were even sexier on Emmett with that V cut on his hips he had. I could remember sitting on the boat, watching him steer, just admiring the great view while I worked on my tan. I'd never be able to resist for long… I'd have to get up, sneak up behind him and slip my hands around his waist, kiss across his shoulders and feel him shudder.

As I worked the shampoo through my hair, I began to wonder if I was making things worse for myself. By staying with him, around him, even being in a place that was his… it's not like I could escape his still-strong hold on me and my heart. I knew I didn't want to… there was no doubt about that, but was I just being dumb? I probably should just get over it, over him and move on, but I HAD tried that, it hadn't particularly worked out all that well for me.

I was brought back to reality as the searing pain in my knee became more apparent, so I rinsed off and stepped out of the shower, not even bothering to grab a towel, then air-dried as I walked around the house naked. I felt especially restless – despite the nagging pain coming from my right knee.

I took some ibuprofen, (more than I probably should have,) and lay around for a while before I finally made myself get dressed. I still had no idea what I was going to do with myself. When the pain in my knee hadn't subsided even a little, I gave in and went to the doctor. And three hours later, I was walking out with a small brace and a torn ligament.

I was half-asleep on the couch, lulled into semi-consciousness by Shrek when I heard him come in. I listened as he set some things down in the kitchen and then came into find me. He didn't say anything to me, but knelt at the end of the couch near my feet and pushed my knees apart and lay down on me. He hadn't noticed the brace because of the blanket draped over me, so I tried to hide the wince as he rested a good deal of his weight on that knee. He lay his head on my stomach and I slipped my fingers through his hair. We used to do this a lot… it was relaxing, a physical way of connecting without being intimate. It usually led to that, of course, but sometimes not. Every now and then he'd fall asleep, and I'd just play with his hair, glad to be sharing a quiet moment with him and wonder what he was dreaming about.

But now, I could tell something was wrong. I hadn't expected him to want to be close to me at all, but he obviously needed to be for some reason, and I knew he'd tell me when he was ready. I slid my hands down over his neck, lightly running my nails back and forth across his shoulders. I gently pulled the back of his t-shirt up, and he shifted for just a second, reaching to grab the back of the collar of his shirt and toss it aside, then settled back down between my legs. I couldn't help but smile as I looked at him… I'd always loved his back, particularly his shoulders and especially the freckles that fell across them. He never understood what I thought was so fantastic about them, and I probably couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was either, but I loved them.

He glanced up at me, for just a second, then put his head back down, being fairly careful to avoid coming into contact with my boobs. Guess those were still off limits. Just as "Hallelujah" began playing on the movie, he started talking. "I went to see Angela…"

"I figured."

"Something's wrong with her… but I don't know what. I can't figure it out. It was like, she knew something happened. But it can't be that, can it? She couldn't know that…"

I sort of wanted to argue with him… I think people, girls especially, kind of have a sixth sense that alerts them when something is "off". I'd heard that little alarm multiple times when we were together… and chose to ignore it every damn time.

"What made you think that?"

"I got to her office building and called her… I told her I was in the parking lot, thinking she'd be all excited to see me and come running out. But she didn't even sound that happy, it was like, "well, let me try to sneak out of here." Then she gets outside and into the car with me and gave me a kiss, but it wasn't, like… normal. I mean it was good and all, but not in the way it usually it, it just didn't feel the same. She asked what I was doing home and then she didn't even seem like she was paying attention when I was talking. I asked her what was going on, if she was okay and then she…"

He stopped sort of abruptly and I couldn't tell if he'd just realized something or was trying to stop himself from telling me something he didn't want me to know. I prompted him, though, just to see. "She what?"

"She wanted to give me head."

I laughed, "What's the problem with that?"

I'd never met a guy who didn't like getting head, but Emmett was particularly appreciative of oral skillfulness – god knows he'd had enough girls to be a connoisseur… if he'd suddenly stopped liking to have a girl go down on him, my world was officially askew.

"She never really… does it. It's like she was trying to distract me," he said, more mumbling than actually talking.

"She… what?" This was a phenomenal concept to me. "She doesn't give you head?"

"No, she doesn't like doing it."

I had no idea what to do with this information. Call me shallow, but I couldn't believe he'd stay with someone who didn't enjoy giving blow jobs. I also sort of couldn't believe there were girls who didn't like doing it to begin with, but I had definitely learned from guys that my enthusiasm for the task was more an exception than a rule.

"You've been with someone for almost a year… and you haven't gotten a single blow job?" I was completely incredulous at the very idea.

He rolled over a little, using my thigh as a head rest, "She's done it like, twice… once on my birthday and then some big date night we had.. but I mean, I'm not gonna make her do it. I love her… I can live without it… most days."

I scoffed, "Most days. Ha... you're dying."

He sighed, "If I didn't think I'd feel completely guilty and know that she'd never forgive me, I'd have totally begged you by now."

"You wouldn't have had to beg. I know I've got a gift, and I feel it's a waste not to willingly share it with the world." I said, chuckling. Upon sudden reflection, though, I realized I hadn't done Riley any favors very often. That should have been yet another clue to me right there.

"You're mean."

"I'm mean? What? I'm just saying… I've got my talents, you have yours… some of ours just… happened to coincide nicely."

"You're still a fucking tease." He said, turning his head to scowl at me.

"I've never been a tease… 'cause I always did what I said I would… sometimes you just had to wait a little for it." I said, in defense.

"Now it's teasing."

I considered, "yeah, maybe it is now… if you know how good it is and can't have it."

"You're not helping. I'm worried." He rearranged himself again, scooting down some, settling his head lower on my stomach. This… was distinctly more sexual to me.. and borderline torturous, if my concentration wasn't on the pain he was causing by putting ALL his weight on my knee. He'd lay right there… close enough to "accidentally" brush against me, his hand between my legs, as he'd arrange himself or gesture while talking to someone. He knew I'd be wet… he'd lick his lips… and then he'd look at me in a way that was just so… hungry, so raw, it was just ravenous… like he was going to devour me. I couldn't help the shudder that followed, but he didn't seem too curious about it… he probably knew what I was thinking.

I tried to brush it off… I really did, but I was risking more damage and said, "Not that I don't love this, but I really need you to move off my knee."

"Sorry, I didn't know I was that heavy." he chuckled, moving off me.

I couldn't hide the look on my face as he came off me, the weight shift making the pain more apparent.

"You're not, my knee just hurts." I tried to say, turning my head.

Emmett quickly ripped the blanket off me and saw the brace on my knee.

"Damn it, Rosalie..." he sighed.

"I'm fine. It's just a few torn ligaments."

He scoffed at me. "You say that like it's no big deal. Like I don't know what this means."

"You know me, you know this part of me better than anyone, so maybe YOU should have thought about that before you decided to pull a stunt like the one you pulled last night!"

He let out an exasperated sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, the tell tale sign he felt like he was in way over his head, and whispered. "I'm fucking everything up..."


	15. Chapter 15

I sat at the kitchen table, flipping through the employment section of the newspaper. I couldn't just sit around and do nothing anymore. I was bored and I was tired of not having people to talk to. The three days that Emmett had been back had just done more harm than good.

He'd spent the remainder of his time home with Angela, only coming back to re-pack a few things and talk for a few hours before I drove him to the airport. He said he wished we could have hung out more, but he was still worried about Angela. He just knew something wasn't right. Even when they were at her place, she was still acting oddly. I made every excuse I could think of for her, trying to ease his mind. Truth be told, I was getting curious, too. I tried to make a joke about it, asking if he had at least gotten a condolence blow job out of it. He'd scowled at me, partly because that was probably in bad taste and partly because I knew he hadn't gotten anything.

I still couldn't get over that… wasn't giving head just a basic part of a modern girl's repertoire, whether she really liked it or not? I wanted to ask her about it, but somehow I guessed she'd probably not want to venture anywhere near the topic of sex with me ever again.

We'd given each other a chaste kiss at the airport, one on the cheek at first, but then a quick one on the lips. I could tell he wanted more than that, just like I did again, but we weren't going there. I smiled and waved as he went through the sliding doors, backpack over his shoulders just like a kid on the first day of school.

And then I was alone again. I waited a couple of days to see if Angela would call me, but she didn't. So I left her a voicemail, asking her to call me when she got a chance.

The waiting was what had brought me to perusing the classifieds. I needed something to do. I needed people to talk to, even if it was just to ask them if they wanted fries with that. I wasn't looking for anything that required a great deal of responsibility or even something that paid particularly well, just something that would give me an excuse to get the hell out of the house for a few hours.

I knew his latest adventure wouldn't last forever… I hadn't been keeping exact count; I'd learned long ago that made me crazy. I figured it was probably about halfway finished and I had no idea what would happen once it did. I was okay with Florida, it was nice and all, but it wasn't home.

When he got back, where did I go? I couldn't really stay here. Well, I could… he wouldn't tell me to leave, but I couldn't keep living here while he tried to go about his normal life. That just seemed way too awkward to me. But, I didn't need to worry about any of that right now. For the time being, I just needed to figure out how the hell to keep myself occupied.

I made a list of the places I thought had the most potential, then grabbed my keys and jumped in the Santa Fe to take a drive and see which one – if any of them – appealed to me the most. I'd just left the Marriott, asking about a front desk job, when my phone rang. I was surprised to see it was Angela, I wouldn't have expected her to call in the middle of the day.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Rosalie… it's Angela."

God, she sounded awful. "Hey Angela… are you okay?"

"I just woke up… I'm at home, I've been sick."

"You didn't have to call me back right now." I felt really bad for bothering her at all now.

"No, I wanted to talk to you. Can you come over? I don't really feel like leaving the house. Oh, and I'm not contagious, so don't worry about that," she said.

"Yeah, sure. You want me to bring you anything?"

"Really?"

Why did she sound so surprised? I'd been nice! "Of course. You name it, I'll find it."

She made an oddly strangled coughing sound, and then asked, "Would you mind stopping by the little grocery store at the end of my street and grabbing some banana popsicles? I love those things and I've been craving them…"

"Absolutely. You want them now or later?"

"Whenever. You can come now if you want."

"I'm not that far away, so I'll be over in a few minutes."

"Thanks, Rosalie."

"No problem. Take it easy, Angela." I hung up, wondering if whatever was going on with her had accounted for the weirdness that Emmett was so worried about. I tried to figure out exactly how to get to her apartment from where I was just then, having gotten a little discombobulated while we were on the phone and I was trying to not focus on how terrible she sounded.

I found my way to her complex then drove down the street to find the grocery store she was talking about. I was surprised to find a place like this here, it reminded more of the kind of stores I saw back home. Well, I guess home was a relative term now. The kind of store I saw back in Wisconsin. I went in and was greeted by several pairs of curious eyes. I guessed this was one of those stores where it was mostly regulars and anyone new was a little suspect. I went straight to the tiny little freezer section and perused the "frosen treets", as the sign said. I saw a lot of things I'd never seen before, but finally found the banana popsicles. Nothing about them sounded good to me, but if that's what she wanted, that's what she was going to get. I paid for the popsicles and hurried back out, well aware of what was being said about me. I guessed I should probably be thankful most of it was complimentary, in an odd sort of way.

When I got to Angela's apartment I knocked on the door and heard a very weak, "It's open."

I walked in and found her huddled up on the couch under an afghan that looked entirely too warm. She looked… terrible. She was pale and her eyes made her seem exhausted. I couldn't help the gasp that escaped.

"I know. Death warmed over. Sorry." She took the box of popsicles when I held it out for her and opened it up, pulling one out and tearing the wrapper off.

I tried to think of a polite way to ask "What the fuck is wrong with you?" but no words were coming out. I just kept glancing over at her, wondering what happened next. Do I ask? Do I wait for her to tell me?

While I was trying to figure out what to do, she caught me when I was looking at her and pulled up the hem of her t shirt. At first I was just startled she was voluntarily baring skin, but then I caught sight of a scar, the dark-ish pink line against her peaches-and-cream skin.

I guess my expression conveyed all the questions I had, because she finally started talking.

"I was diagnosed with kidney failure when I was young, and had surgery for it three times … and it's still not completely fixed. The donor is never a 100% match… Sometimes it just… catches up with me."

"I don't… get it." I didn't understand anything she was saying. She was only 25 years old… and she'd already had three surgeries and she wasn't fixed? How had medical science hadn't gotten that far yet?

"I don't know if I get it either, really. I keep being told that it will work out or eventually or just one more surgery will fix it… but it hasn't." she said, then stopped to take a few bites on her popsicle.

"Is this what Emmett was worried about?"

"He was worried?" she asked, sounding more concerned about him than she did about herself.

"Yeah… you had him all freaked out…"

"I was trying not to let on anything… I guess I didn't do as well as I thought."

"Apparently it was offering to give him head that tipped him off." I told her, waiting to see if she'd elaborate on her opposition to blow jobs.

"OH. Oh." She was quiet for a moment. "I guess that would have made him wonder since I don't… do… that… very often."

I waited again, playing with the frayed hem of the afghan.

"I was surprised he turned me down, but I guess if he realized I was trying to distract him…" She sighed. "I know he loves it, but I just CAN'T do it… it's gross."

I was biting my tongue to keep from saying anything. I wanted to argue there was nothing gross about making a man crazy with your mouth, but I was pretty sure my argument would be wasted.

"Why didn't you just tell him what was going on?" I asked her.

"Because I didn't want him to worry. I know it freaks him out. When he asked me about the scar the first time he saw it, as soon as I said "kidney problems", he sort of went a little crazy.."

"Mike..." I said, interrupting.

"Yeah, he told me he had a friend that could have died from something like it. He's always so extra careful with me anyway; if he knew something else was going on, I can't even imagine what he'd do. I thought I'd be able to deal with it and get everything taken care of while he was gone and he showed up and surprised me…"

"So rather than tell him the truth, you just let him wonder and be scared." I was honestly kind of mad. I felt bad for her being sick, of course, but I didn't think it was right for her to be so dishonest with Emmett.

"I know, it was wrong. I just don't want him to worry. All my life everyone has worried about me. I had to take ballet when I wanted to do gymnastics because my mom thought I couldn't handle it. I sang in choir in high school instead of playing in the band because the marching might have been too much. One of my doctors told me not to have sex because it might put unnecessary strain on me! I'm pretty sure my mom put him up to that, but still. I've been careful, everyone has always been worried, and I'm just kind of tired of it, y'know?"

I didn't know. I didn't understand that because I'd never been there. I'd always been a rough-and-tumble kind of girl… I played little league… every sport they'd let me try in high school… and had sex marathons that probably equaled weeks of boot camp as far as exertion of energy went. I had no idea what to say to her.

Finally, I asked, "So what happens now? If you're trying to take care of things while he's gone… what is it that you're doing?"

"I've had a couple doctor's appointments, I see another specialist later this week, then I guess they'll decide what to do. I hope it's not surgery again, but I don't know. I just… want to not have to worry about it," she told me, sort of staring off into space. Then she turned quickly and looked right at me, "You can't say anything to him about this."

"How would I say anything? You didn't want him to know we were talking, either." I said, snippy. I'd never left so much out of what I told Emmett than I had since Angela... happened.

She seemed surprised at my tone. "I'm sorry. I know it's dishonest. I appreciate you wanting to protect him."

"I'm not going to lie if he asks me anything." I said, standing up.

"Enjoy your popsicles." I grabbed my bag and let myself out the door, not caring how rude I might be. I heard her calling "thank you" as I shut the door, but didn't stop to ask what for.

I drove home the longest way I could think of, because I just wasn't ready to go back to the house. I had so many thoughts tumbling around in my head – and most of them were about Angela. I knew Emmett loved her. I guess, in her own fucked up way, not telling him anything was a way of loving him, too. She was being dishonest, but did that mean she shouldn't be trusted? She was sick, or at least unwell, it wasn't like I'd caught her with another guy and she was asking me to cover for her. But something just wasn't right about the whole thing for me… who knew, who didn't know and what the real problem was. I could only guess at the severity of the problem with her heart by what she'd told me, but it didn't sound like a good prognosis.

My phone chimed, letting me know I had a text message and pulling me out of my jumbled thoughts. It was from Emmett, who else would it have been?

"I want a new tat"

I laughed. It had been a while since he'd indulged his ink addiction. I'd been surprised at how long he'd held out. The late afternoon traffic was getting ridiculous – I should have known better than to take the highway now. As I crawled along with the rest of the cars, I called him to tell him to go for it and be sure to send me a picture.


	16. Chapter 16

I was a little disappointed when Emmett didn't get a new tattoo… I'd been anxious to see what would come out of that ever-creative mind of his and end up on his skin. Talking with him about tattoos, though, put me in the mood for a new one. My collection was not nearly as extensive as his but he was partially responsible for most of mine. I'd let him pick the design and location of one of them, and he'd drawn another one at my request. He and I had visited studios in probably most of the cities we travelled to, just to look around. Sometimes one of us walked out with something new, but most of the time we just looked at the artists' portfolios and browsed over the flash.

It occurred to me that I hadn't been to a studio in a disturbingly long time and that would be an excellent way for me to occupy myself for a while. I put clothes on and decided to just start driving, surely there would be a studio somewhere. I couldn't actually recall having noticed any before, but I'd never really been looking. I decided to head toward the beach, maybe Ybor or perhaps even a trip down to Fort Myers would have some place cool.

I passed the Pier and grabbed a parking spot, ready to wander around and see the sights. I was always amazed at how many people there were at the beach, no matter what day of the week or time of day. People actually left the beach in the Dells, there were times it was almost empty, but not here. I couldn't figure out what they did the rest of the time, or if they were just.. those people the ones who felt that the life of a beach bum was a higher purpose than anything like holding down a job. Although, truth be told, Emmett would probably be one of them, if he'd been given the option.

I followed a couple of delicious-smelling frat boys down the board walk, slightly intoxicated by their cologne, but also curious as to why someone would actually wear THAT much cologne to the beach. Weren't you just going to get in the water and wash it off? Although, the longer I watched them, the more I thought they were about presentation and not actual participation. They led me right where I wanted to go, though, they headed into a questionable looking "smoke shop" and I walked past them, a few doors further down, and stopped in front of a neon sign announcing the home of a tattoo studio.

I walked in the doors, smiling at the clean, hospital kind of smell, and the hip, funky decor. It wasn't smoky and the room was brightly lit – two major bonus factors in my opinion. I stood in front of one of the walls, my eyes skimming over various phrases written in kanji and katana.

I couldn't help but overhear the conversation going on behind the partition as I gazed at the designs, "Tell her not to come back. She never shows up for work anyway, that shouldn't be a problem for her."

"I know. We're going to have to find someone fast or Ryan's going to end up out there and I'm pretty sure that douchebag can't even pick up a phone."

My interest was piqued. I turned around to see the two men who had been talking come out and start rummaging through a box behind the counter.

The more heavily inked of the two asked, "Do we even have a 'help wanted' sign?"

The other one, who was rocking a red mohawk started to answer, but then seemed to realize I was there. "Hey, sorry! I didn't know anyone was out here! Can I help you with anything?"

"I was just looking, but now I'm curious… what kind of help do you need?"

Mohawk looked at the other guy then glanced back at me, "We need a receptionist…"

I smiled, "I can answer a phone and… I even show up when I'm supposed to."

"You'd want to work here? The pay isn't great." The guy who wasn't mohawked said.

"I don't need the money… I just want a job. I know it sounds crazy, but I'm dying to find a way to stay busy. I love tattoo studios, I love the art, and I love talking to people. Give me a chance… if it doesn't work out, fire me.. no questions asked." I said. I was practically desperate for this job, I'd probably beg if I needed to.

The two guys looked at each other for about a half a second, then said in unison, "You're hired."

I smiled, "Awesome. My name is Rosalie, by the way."

"Nice to meet you, Rosalie. I'm Paul," Mohawk told me. I shook his hand when he extended it to me and smiled.

"I'm Jacob," the other one said. Then asked, "Do you even have any ink?"

I laughed, "Yeah, I do… You want me to take my clothes off to show you or just tell you about it?"

"I'll take your word for it for now, maybe after I've known you a couple of days I'll ask to see it." Jacob told me, backing away a little.

"You draw on people's asses and tits and you're worried about me showing you where I'm tattooed?" I asked, laughing again.

"It's different, I don't usually have to see them again!" he told me, then jumped when the phone rang and went to hide in a back room.

"You'll have to excuse him," Paul said, "he always gets anxious around hot girls."

"Awww, I'm flattered. I'll just catch him by surprise one day and flash him."

Paul cracked up, "You and I are going to get along just fine."

The rest of the afternoon went quickly as I was given the tour around the shop and the general rundown of my job duties. I had to answer the phone, make appointments, and greet customers. I kept waiting for there to be some big, scary hidden task with the way they complained about not being able to find anyone who could actually do this job. I never did find anything, so either I was the smartest person they'd ever hired or… they just had the worst employee screening process ever.

When I left later in the afternoon, I felt much more content than I had in quite a while. I actually had something to DO, I had people to talk to, and really, a reason to drag my ass out of bed in the morning. I finally thought to check my phone as I was walking to my car and was surprised to find I had three missed calls – one from Emmett, and two from Angela. I hadn't thought about her all day, which had been a relief, I'd gotten tired of having her on my mind. I still couldn't decide how I felt about her, if she was being evil or just weirdly protective.

I decided I wasn't going to worry about her for now and drove to the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner. I was feeling oddly energized and in the mood to cook, I could only guess it was as a result of having found some sort of purpose. On my way back to the house, I called Emmett, eager to tell him my news.

He picked up, and I could tell he was eating, "Hey Roshe!"

I laughed at the way he sounded with his mouth full, "Wow, that's sexy."

He swallowed, "Sorry. Dinner… I missed lunch and I'm starvin'."

"You missed a meal? What the hell?"

"I was talking to Angela and then didn't have time." He said, and I couldn't figure out exactly what I should be picking up from the tone in his voice.

"And how did that go?" I asked.

"I don't know. I guess, honestly, I'm kinda mad at her. I know she's not telling me things, and she's being all weird and like, hinting at things that she knows I'm not going to understand and I'm just frustrated. It's like…" he trailed off and there was silence for a few moments. I could hear him get up from wherever he was and walk away, still not talking, putting distance between himself and whoever else was around.

I waited, and finally prompted him, "It's like what?"

"I love her… I really do, but it's like… it's easy for me to be away now. I don't… miss her like I did. I still call, I still care about what's going on, but with her being like this, it's just making me… wonder," he told me, quietly.

"Wonder?" I didn't know if he meant like, he was thinking about things or if he was back to his old ways.

"Yeah, just wonder if this is right. I mean, I think she's worth it, but do we really have a chance? You have to admit, it seems like a long shot."

As much as I would have liked to tell him that no, they didn't make much sense and he'd be much better off with someone like, oh, me… I wasn't going to. I said, "I guess it depends on what chance you're talking about. I'm sure she wants to get married… are you there yet? No, probably not."

"See, I think about that, too. I know she's going to want that. Sometimes I think she already does. She wants to get married and have a family and I … don't. I really don't want to get married. I just feel like I can't do it. Kids… I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not. Am I being fair to her if I know she wants things I can't or won't give her?" He sounded stressed, just asking the question, and I could tell it had really been on his mind.

"Just because you're dating, hell, just because it's serious or… kind of serious or however you want to look at it, doesn't guarantee there's going to be an engagement. I mean, yeah, I guess it sort of does usually end up that way, but it doesn't have to. Aren't you just supposed to enjoy it while you have it and see what happens? Maybe one day you will wake up and go, "Oh my god, I want to marry that girl!" and then again you may decide that she's not the one. I don't know Emmett. I'm really not the right person to ask about that." I definitely was not the right person to ask. I'd found the love of my life and lost him. What the fuck did I know about anything?

"I know… and I probably won't even feel like this tomorrow… I'm just frustrated right now." He paused for a second and said, "Sorry, I gotta go, I'll call you back later, okay?"

"Sure thing. Bye."

"Bye. Love you."

I tossed the phone into the passenger seat, just as I was getting ready to pull into the driveway of the house. I hated not having answers for him when I knew he needed them. I kept thinking about what he'd said as I took my groceries inside. I set everything down and decided I was going to focus on food for now, I'd worry about him later and I might call Angela back. Maybe.

-:-

Turns out, I didn't have to call Angela, because she called me again. My guess was that she was probably afraid that I was going to go off and tell him, even though she'd asked me not to.

I know I sounded less-than-enthused when I answer the phone.

"Rosalie, it's Angela."

"I know. What do you want?"

She sighed, but I couldn't tell if it was because she was irritated with me or just because she knew I was still unhappy with her. "I was just calling to tell you… I have to… I'm going to… have surgery again…"

"When?"

"Tuesday morning. I have to be admitted Monday night. I just…thought I'd let you know."

"You're going to tell him, right? Angela, I swear to God, if he hasn't called me by tomorrow morning to let me know about this, I'm going to tell him myself…" I was done being nice if she thought she was going to let this slide. Even with the conversation he and I had had earlier, I knew he'd want to know about this.

"Yes, I'm going to tell him. And I'm going to tell him that he doesn't have to come see me, I don't want his messing up his schedule trying to get out here, so if he mentions that to you, talk him out of it, okay? Tell him you'll check on me and let him know, even if you don't want to come by, make something up." She told me, and it sounded like she was sort of asking me to visit her, without actually coming right out and saying it.

"Angela, I'll come see you anyway… I just can't have him not knowing something major is going on. I'll take you to the hospital or wait with you or whatever you need… just as long as you tell him." I was half-surprised when I heard myself volunteering my services and company to her. It's not that I wouldn't do it, I just, didn't expect to hear myself saying that.

There was a pause and a shaky breath, I could tell she'd started crying. Oh hell, what had I done now? "Angela?"

"Thank you. Really, thank you. I didn't want to ask you, but I don't… feel right asking anyone else to come. I mean, I know they're my friends and I've known them longer, but you're like, the next best thing to having Emmett here. I just feel… more comfortable or safer or something around you. I know that's weird, I do. And I'm sorry." Her words just spilled out, coming quickly like she didn't have much control over them.

"What are you apologizing for? Granted, I don't know your friends, but, I'd daresay I probably would have a better bedside manner than most of the Ybor Hottie Crew." I was pleased she laughed at my comment, rather than taking offense. Sometimes I still just wasn't sure about her.

She sniffled, "Thanks, Rosalie. Should I call him now?"

I looked at the clock, "Now is as good a time as any. Just call and get it over with. "

"I will. Thanks again. I'll let you know what's going on later."

"I'll be waiting." I hung up the phone and went into the kitchen to work on dinner, figuring I should keep myself busy until the phone rang again.

-:-

I rolled over and reached for the phone, thankfully finding it before I had to turn the light on. "Hello?"

"You're not greeting me by name now?" Emmett asked.

"Sorry. Hi, Emmett."

"Were you expecting someone else?"

"I was sleeping, you caught me a little off guard. What's going on?"

"I know what's wrong."

"What's wrong with…"

"Angela."

"Oh, right. Angela." Good, she told him. Now I didn't have to have an issue with being dishonest. "So what did she tell you?"

"She's been to a couple doctors and one of them wants to do some surgery on her… she's got some kidney problems…" his voice trailed off and I recognized the sound immediately, he was feeling guilty for everything he'd said earlier. "I gotta come home. She told me not to, but I can't not, right? I should be there. She told me she might ask if you'd look in on her, so I didn't have to… but I should, shouldn't I? I'm her boyfriend, I should be there. I love her, I should want to be there with her…"

"Do you WANT to be or do you feel like you SHOULD be?" I was curious, the way he'd said things hadn't really made that clear.

There was a long pause, like he was really thinking about it or carefully choosing his words. "I feel like I SHOULD be, like that's what's expected of me, but… I do… want to see her, too. I'd be there if it was you."

Again, he throws me for a loop. Was that just commentary? Was it a definitive statement? I ignored it and said, "Emmett, if she told you not to come… don't. It would probably stress her out more, if she was worrying about what you were missing by being with her. I'll go visit her. I'll give you updates or whatever you want me to do. You focus on your job, she'll get through this and I'll visit whenever I'm not at work."

"Work? What?"

"Oh, yeah, I got a job today!" I smiled, he was always easy to distract.

"Where?"

I told him the name of the studio and he recognized it immediately, Sam or someone had had work done there as was a big fan of the artists.

"Really you don't mind going to see her? I didn't think you liked her much."

"Emmett, I barely know her. But I never said I didn't like her. I don't mind visiting her. I know hospital stays are terrible… I take balloons and flowers and games and the whole deal, okay?"

"You're awesome, Rosalie."

"Yeah, I know." I said, laughing.

There was a long silence after my laughter stopped, partly because I was half asleep.

"How's your knee?" he asked quietly.

"It's fine. I just put the ace wrap thing on it now; it wasn't anything major to begin with..."

"Any other injuries I should know about?" he asked, a little on the sarcastic side.

"No, asshole, there aren't." I shot back.

"It's not a ridiculous question, Rosalie. I don't want to come home to you in a body cast."

I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn't see me. "I'm not going to be in a body cast, Emmett. It's how I handle stress, you know that."

"Yeah, I _do _know that. Which is why I asked if there were any other injuries."

He was acting like I was a cutter. Or anorexic. Running is the way I manage my stress, my life; particularly when things were fucked up. The burn is sort of cathartic. And sometimes I push too far. Hence the injuries.

"And I already said there weren't!"

I heard a sigh before he quietly spoke. "It scares me when you get hurt, Rose. It's like you're punishing yourself for something you didn't even do..."

"I'm fine, I promise." I said. "You'd be the first to know if something was wrong, Emmett."

"I'm sorry I woke you up."

"It's okay. Go get some sleep yourself, I'll talk to you later."

He didn't say anything right away, and then finally told me "good night" and hung up almost before the words were out of his mouth. Weird. But, it was Emmett, nothing was really THAT odd with him.

-:-

I was in the middle of a really hot dream starring me and some faceless guy with a wicked talented tongue when the phone rang again and scared the hell out of me.

"HELLO?"

"Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you."

I squinted at the clock and yawned. "Emmett, it's almost four in the morning… I was sleeping, of course the phone startled me."

"I haven't been to sleep yet." He said, but I could tell that by his voice.

"I know you've got a lot on your mind. But don't worry about it too much, she's a tough chick… I mean, c'mon, she has to be, she's dating you." I told him, trying to sound as lighthearted as I possibly could while still being half-asleep.

"I wasn't thinking about… her."

"Oh. Okay, well, what's going on then?" I sat up, trying to make sure I'd stay awake for whatever he said. If I stayed laying down, the chances seemed very small.

"I love you."

"I know. I love you, too." Shit, this sounds like a terrible start. Is he going to decide he feels too guilty about not being with her and decide I'm in the way or something?

"No, I mean… I love you. Not just you're-my-best-friend kind of love… I love you. Like, in love with you love you. I always have been. I kept trying to tell myself I wasn't, but I am. I know it, I feel it, I can't keep trying to convince myself I'm not. I'm thinking about her and you and what's going on and I know it's terrible, but, I had to tell you."

I know my mouth was hanging open, that was the absolute last thing that I would have ever guessed would have come out of his mouth. And I had nothing to say in response. I was totally speechless.

I wouldn't have had much of a chance to say anything, because he started talking again, "Rose, I'm sorry… I shouldn't have said anything… we were just talking earlier and it was just … THERE and I couldn't ignore it anymore. I went to bed and all I could think about was you. My girlfriend is going to have possibly fucking life threatening surgery and all I can think about is calling you and telling you that I'm in love with you."

"Wh-what about… Angela?" I squeaked. My heart was pounding so fast my brain couldn't keep it from exploding and make my voice work, too.

"I love her, I do, but… I don't know… it's just… not the same somehow." I heard him make a growl-y noise, like he was just aggravated with everything. "I'm fucking stupid, aren't I? Don't answer that."

"No, you're not." Oh good, that came out sounding calm enough. Could he make this any fucking harder on me? I guess I felt better, though, knowing he was in the same damn place I was. I hadn't said it out loud, but I loved him with everything I was… still, in spite of everything, maybe because of it.

"What now?" he asked, his voice a whisper.

"I don't know, Em." I said, softly. I felt like being louder would jostle whatever was passing between us on the phone… I wondered if he felt as shaky as I did.

"I love you."

"I love you, too. In the best friend kind of way, and the I-still-think-you're-the-only-guy-for-me kind of way… that never changed."

"We can figure this out, right?"

"Not right now. Not… anytime soon. Angela first, then… us." I said, finger twirling my hair like crazy, a sure sign I was a nervous wreck.

"I know. I can't hurt her. Definitely not now."

"Especially not now." I told him. "It'll work out. Whatever's supposed to happen… for all of us… it'll work out." And one of us was going to end up a disaster.

"I gotta get some sleep."

"Can you sleep now?"

"I feel better now that I told you."

"Good… sweet dreams, we'll talk more later, okay?"

"Yeah, good night." I heard the phone click and then I rolled over to hang mine back up.

I lay back in the pillows, wide awake now. Everything about this felt so wrong. Extra evil… I was that girl, the one that was going to come between them even though I didn't want to be.

I slid out of bed to find my MP3 player and went out on the back patio, curling up in a chair and looking through the songs to find the one I wanted. I felt like I was allowed this moment, outside in the dark, where I could let myself feel like anything was possible, before the sun showed up and tomorrow really started and I had to figure out what the fuck was going to happen. And how I could, if there was any way, for me to not to the Bitch That Ruined Everything.

I pressed play and slouched back in my chair to look at the stars. "I cannot forget refuse to regret, so glad I met you and… take my breath away, make every day worth all of the pain that I have gone through..."


	17. Chapter 17

Hey everyone! thanks for all the feedback, it's greatly appreciated! sorry it's taken me so long... It's Christmas week and I work at a ski resort, so this week is having me ready to pull my hair out! So here it is :)

-:- -:- -:- -:-

I walked into the studio, humming along with the song that I'd been listening to on the radio. I stepped out of the way for a girl leaving with gauze on her neck. I don't understand neck tattoos… anything above the shoulders I don't really get.

I walked behind the counter to hear Paul asking, "What's your guess?" as he walked to the calendar.

"Three weeks." Jacob called from the back room.

"Ooohh, I wanna guess. What are we guessing on?" I asked, hiding my purse in the desk drawer.

"How long before that chick comes back in for a cover up."

I laughed, "Why's that?"

"She got her boyfriend's name." Jacob told me, coming out of the supply room.

"On her neck?"

"Yep." Jacob marked his date on the calendar, and handed me a pen. "Your guess?"

"I give that like, a month, max." I said, then asked, "What was his name?"

"Caius." Paul said.

"For real? Two weeks, four days." I said, marking my day on the calendar. "So, what happens if we win?"

"Whoever comes closest… wins. If I win, I get all the money off the cover-up because I did the tattoo… if he wins, he gets half, and if you win… you get all the money, I guess." Paul explained.

"I love this game!" I said, laughing. I did love these guys. They did good work and I had a good time with them. I'd only been there for a few official days of employment, and I was happy. I liked the atmosphere – the people excited about their art and the creation of new pieces. Being at the studio let me get involved with new lives and take my mind off everything going on in my own – and I was grateful for that.

I was supposed to meet Angela after work, so I'd know what was going on with the whole surgery business. Last I had heard, her parents were going with the hospital with her and I didn't entirely feel compelled to spend hours trying to make small talk with the parents of the girl who was dating the man I wanted more than anything. The very idea of it just seemed like too much work.

I was always surprised at how fast the time went at the studio. Even if there weren't actual customers, someone was always coming in to browse the portfolios or talk to one of the guys. I loved the casual social atmosphere of it and the way everyone was treated the same whether they were ink addicts or tattoo virgins.

With less than an hour left, my cell phone rang. I figured it would be Angela with whatever plans she'd made for us to meet up. I was surprised when I saw it was Emmett.

"Hello?"

"Hey Rosalie…"

There was something weird about the tone of his voice."What's going on?"

"I just… had a question."

"Okay, what is it?" I slipped off the stool at the counter and walked through the studio, out the back door, and nodded for Beau to head back inside for a few minutes.

"Do you remember what you told Angela when you met her?"

I tried to think back, wondering if some smart-ass remark I'd made was coming back to bite me. "Um… refresh my memory?"

"You told her you'd rather have sex with my brother, dad, and my sister than me." He said it kind of quietly, like he really didn't like was he was saying.

I laughed, yes, I did remember that. "That wasn't exactly what I said… there was no "rather" involved, but yes, I remember. Why?"

"Did you mean it?"

Oh. Someone seemed to be thinking ahead. Good… I wasn't the only one. "That was for my amusement and Angela's peace of mind. But mainly… my amusement. I'm not going to go fucking my way through your family, I assure you. I just… didn't think I'd have a chance with you again, so I might as well make her feel better about things."

"So, if you had the chance…" he trailed off, waiting for me to tell him what I was thinking.

"You'd get very, very lucky."

I heard the shaky breath he let out. I was guessing it was a little like withdrawal. He hadn't had what he needed and now he couldn't stop thinking about it. If he knew he had the chance, he'd find a way to make it happen. I couldn't help but smile, I had to admit, it felt good to know he still wanted me.

"I just… needed to know... for sure."

"You knew all along."

He chuckled a little, "I was hoping."

"I'm going to see Angela after work today."

"Oh yeah, how is work going? You like it?"

Oooh, total avoidance of the actual point of my statement. Must be easier for him to compartmentalize, keep everything completely separate. "I love it. The guys are fantastic… and it keeps me from wanting to jump off the roof."

"Oh. I'm sorry it's been… that bad."

"You know I get bored easily, just like you do. There's only so much I can do around the house to stay occupied. I've watched more tv in the past three months than I have in the last three years."

"Actual television shows or porn?" he asked, laughing.

I snorted. "Both."

"I'll talk you later, okay?"

"Yeah, bye." I hung up and went back inside, feeling a little odd about the whole conversation. He's obviously thinking about me, about sex with me, and trying not to think about Angela. Maybe he had grown up and knew what guilt felt like now.

I sat back at the counter and Beau glanced at me, with a concerned expression. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah", I nodded. I didn't have a specific reason to not be okay yet, so for the time being, everything was fine. It was just… weird. I still didn't know how I really felt about Angela, and anything I'd thought in the past about being good or wanting her to be able to trust me, it was gone. As much as I wanted to spare her the pain of being in the position I'd once been in, I was becoming increasing willing to let her be there. If he showed up in bed with me tonight… I shuddered. I could not think about this now.

Just then, of course, the phone rang and this time it was Angela. She wanted to meet me at a café near the studio – she figured it might be the last time she could go there for a while. I told her I'd see her in a few and went to help the guys close up shop for the day.

"What's going on with you?" Paul asked, as I held a roll of plastic wrap while he cut pieces off it.

"What do you mean?"

He lopped off the last piece and took the roll from me, "You look like you're sort of… freaked out about something."

Damn. They were getting good at reading me. "Are you friends with any of your exes?"

"Oh hell no." He said, laughing. "That's nothing but trouble."

I sighed. "I sort of see that."

"You having problems with an ex?"

"Not him, really. I mean, we're still really close, he's my best friend. But his girlfriend now is sort of… complicating things." I told him, trying to give the simplest possible explanation.

"Complicating things how?"

"I want him. He wants me. She's got him."

Paul considered for a moment, then asked, "Why doesn't he just break up with her?"

"That's where it gets complicated."

"Oh, they got a kid? That's always makes things weird."

"No, no kids." Thank God. I could not have handled seeing a tiny Cullen running around that belonged to some other girl– I'd have rather impaled myself on a rusty railroad spike with a dull tip. "She just has things going on that would not make a break-up the best option at this time."

He looked at me for a second. "I have no idea what to tell you."

I laughed, "Thanks. I appreciate your honesty."

"I do what I can."

I gave him a gentle punch on the arm as I walked out, telling them both I'd see them later. I decided to walk to the café, get some air, before I saw her. I felt bad for the things I'd been thinking, basically plotting to steal her boyfriend… as she was getting ready to have heart surgery. But… he was mine first. He was supposed to be mine. I knew it. He knew it. And I think she knew it on some level, too.

I got to the café at exactly the same time she did. I held the door open for her, noticing that she looked about as awful as she did last time I saw her. She got us a table in a corner where the windows met, sunlight streaming through the little spaces between the blinds. It was kind of funny whenever I was out with her, there was always light somehow shining on her. Like we were two forces fighting it out – light and dark. I guess it was sort of lucky for me Emmett tended to stray to the dark side.

I slid into my chair and watched her – the way she seemed to collapse into a sitting position like the weight of the world was on her shoulders forcing her down. And then I felt really, really bad. I didn't really want to be the evil, scheming slut who stole her man. It was just kind of working out that way.

The waitress came over and took our orders – she got the house specialty and I went straight for dessert. When the waitress left, I asked how she was feeling.

"I'm okay. I was better until my mom showed up this morning and started fussing over me all day. Every time anything happens and I even get sort of sick or don't feel completely wonderful – she just goes crazy. I mean, I know it has to be hard for her as a mom, but I'm an adult now! I actually can take care of myself."

I nodded, "Moms can have a hard time letting go." My relationship with my own mother had never been quite the same since I'd left school to go on tour with Emmett and she told me he was ruining my life, but I understood what she was saying.

"I don't even want to talk about her right now." Angela said, sipping from the glass of water that had appeared on the table.

"That's fine." I said, and then realized I had no idea what to say. What did she want to talk about? The surgery? Emmett? Something else entirely?

"I guess you don't really need to show up at the hospital. My mom and dad are apparently planning to camp out, so I won't be alone. At all."

I noticed the chagrin on that last statement. "You can call me if you want me to come by and distract you. I'll come with a rescue squad."

She laughed a little, "You're a good friend."

Oh fuck me. I just wanted to yell at her, stop being so damn nice! But instead, I smiled and repeated Jude's words, "I do what I can." Yeah, it's the least I can do considering what I actually WANT to do.

"Okay, let's talk about something else. What's your job like? I can't imagine working with those people with all those tattoos. It must be so weird."

And she lost me again. Seriously, how did Emmett date her? I'd never heard her curse, she doesn't give head or do stripteases and she thinks people with tattoos are weird. Has she seen him naked? I tapped an annoyed rhythm on the table with my fingernails – a habit left over from years of being with a drummer who was constantly banging on things – and looked at her. "Those people with all those tattoos? You know Emmett has tattoos, right?"

"Yes, I know he's got tattoos. I just don't like them," she told me.

Of course she doesn't like them. I put my head in my hands and tried to will myself to bite my tongue. It didn't work. "What is it that you like about Emmett?"

She looked kind of surprised or caught off-guard. "I like… almost everything about him. He's nothing like I thought he'd be. He's sweet and thoughtful, he's good to me…" She paused and looked at me, "Everything he does for me, he probably learned from you."

"Probably." I wasn't even going to try to be nice right now. Maybe I really was a bitch.

"I'm sorry. I know it has to be hard for you to see him with someone else, but Rosalie, I really do love him." She gave me this look that was sort of pleading, like she just desperately wanted me to believe her. And I did. I believe that she loved him, maybe even loved him very much… but was that enough? Was it the right kind of love for him? Based on what he'd been telling me lately, I didn't think so.

"I want him happy and if it's with someone else, that's fine. I just want that someone else to love everything about him." I told her.

Her expression was surprised, like I'd just slapped her. "I do love him like that, I just meant… like, the tattoos and things, I don't… really… like…" Her voice got softer and her words slower as she spoke, as if she realized she wasn't helping herself any. She looked down at the table and then up at me again, with a sad, tired smile. "I just want you to like me. You are so important to him; I need you to like me."

"I do like you, Angela. And I'm always going to feel protective of him. But sometimes those two things are going to cancel each other." I looked around for the waitress. I wanted to get our food so we could eat and I could leave.

"How about…we just talk about us? Like, just ourselves so we can learn more about each other?" she asked, seeming to sense my intense desire to escape or at least change the subject.

I nodded. "Okay, let's give that a try." I said, as the waitress magically appeared with our food.

What I learned over my caramel apple pie was – Angela and I had essentially nothing in common. We both liked Juicy Couture and were only children and that's pretty much where the similarities ended. As she told me about herself, I began to wonder if Emmett had done the same thing I'd done – tried to find the person most unlike the one we'd broken up with. Victoria had happened in between Angela and I, but she didn't count for anything, other than a really bad decision. He and I had been each other's most significant relationship, so it would arguably take the most to recover from. What better way to get over someone than date someone completely different from them, right? It certainly hadn't worked for me, and I was totally in shock that Emmett and Angela had lasted as long as they did.

We exchanged a few anecdotes and then she was finished. My pie was long gone, and I'd had enough bonding for one evening. She gave me a hug as we stood to leave, and I returned it. I told her I'd be thinking of her tomorrow and to call me when she was awake again and felt like it… I'd come over whenever she wanted me to. I waved as she walked to her car - I hadn't been lying when I said I liked her… I did, but I couldn't like her as a good match for Emmett.

I got into my car and went zipping out of the parking lot, turning the radio up loud. I'd always been a fan of music and of sound and noise, but Emmett's influence had shown me how deeply it should be appreciated, how much of an escape it could really be. He believed in the intensity of the listening experience – you should listen alone – in a car or in a room with headphones to fully feel and understand what you were hearing.

I got into the house and dropped my bag by the door and stopped. Something seemed off to me. Things looked different – not how I'd left them. And that freaked me out. "Hello?" I didn't even think Emmett's siblings had keys to the house, so if anyone answered, it wasn't likely to be someone I wanted to see.

"Hey, hi…"

Thank God I heard his voice before I felt his lips on my neck or I'd have turned around ready to knock someone out. "EMMETT! What are you doing home?"

He opened his arms to me, letting me jump up on him and wrap myself around him. He hugged me tight and said, "I got a few bonus days. I thought I should come home… I was going to tell you on the phone earlier, but then I thought I'd just wait and surprise you."

I slid back down to the floor, "I'm surprised. And how did you get bonus days?"

"The venue got burned down."

"It… what?"

"The new place we just bought outside of London… someone set fire to it. Which sucks… The space was really great and I was looking forward to working on it. But we have insurance guys all over it and we're looking at a new place as we speak. So we each got a few days off." He explained, sitting down at the table and pulling me into his lap.

He kissed the back of my neck again and I shuddered, "Did you come back to see Angela?" I admit, I was hoping his question on the phone today had played a little part in his decision to return.

"I figured I'd go see her at some point…" he said, tugging on my arm to turn me around.

I got up and turned to face him, straddling his legs and sitting back down. His hands immediately slid around to grab my ass, pulling me closer against him. He leaned in close to me, catching my eyes for just a second before his lips touched mine. He nipped at my lower lip, causing me to moan softly. I heard him mumble "god, I love that sound" before his lips crashed against mine in an intense, desperate kiss. He stood up, still holding me to him and began carrying me down the hall.

He lay me down on the bed and knelt over me, his hands sliding up under my shirt and bringing it with him as he moved up toward my breasts. I raised up just long enough for him to pull it over my head and reach behind me, unhooking my bra and I lay back down, my arms around him, bringing him with me. A noise that I have never heard myself make before escaped as his teeth grazed over my nipple and my back arched, trying to push myself closer to him.

He looked up at me, laughing, and asked, "what the hell was that?"

I had to laugh, too., "I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure it means 'don't you dare stop'."

He smiled, "I haven't even gotten started yet."


	18. Chapter 18

_So I'm sorry x1209483209482309 for taking this long... between work, trying to manage something of a social life and coming down with strep, writing has just not been on the top priorities list... thank you for all the feedback so far! it's muchhhh appreciated. xoxo_

-:-

I fell back into the pillows gasping, unable to believe that all the times I'd remembered how good he was in my memories… he was still actually better in reality.

I could only sort of see him through my half-closed eyes, looking up at me from between my thighs, smirking, obviously pleased with my reaction to his attention. "You're very smug, sir."

He laughed and slid up between my knees, settling his head on my chest. "Yeah, I am. It's good to know I've still got it."

I scoffed, slipping my fingers through his hair, smoothing out the mess I'd created while tugging earlier, "Like there was any doubt."

He was silent for a few moments, then said, very softly, "I really do miss this."

"Miss what?"

"The way you taste. How you sound."

I didn't want to ruin the bliss I felt by started a conversation that was most likely going to depress me, so I pushed him a little - rolling over him so I was on top. I gave him a little smile and licked my lips, "I know that's not all you miss…"

Whatever sentimentality he may have been feeling was immediately betrayed by the glimmer in his eye as soon as he realized what I meant. He sat up, tugging his shirt over his head and had his pants off so fast I really kind of wanted to laugh at him. Poor boy was desperate.

I hovered over him, leaning down to kiss him again. I knew he loved that I would kiss him after he'd gone down on me… apparently some girls wouldn't and that was a turn-off for him. I trailed my lips down his neck, nibbling along his collarbone and then biting at his chest. I automatically went to all the right places… making him moan loudly. I'd never forget what he liked, just as he'd obviously not forgotten what worked for me… and it's a dangerous thing – knowing just when, where and how to touch somebody.

"Rose, please…" His voice was barely a whisper, but it was so sexy, just to hear him… begging.

My hands slid down his chest and over his abs, before I wrapped my hand around him, stroking his length. I was probably a little too ecstatic just to be touching him, but I loved the way he felt… every part of him. I watched his eyes close and he bit his lip, the softest sigh escaping.

I didn't want to wait any more than he did… I moved down the bed, my hand still twisting slowly up and down as I rearranged myself. From just the gasp I heard when my tongue touched him, I knew this wasn't going to last very long. Not that I could blame him… when you're missing something it doesn't take much to really enjoy it. I used the tricks I knew he loved… but didn't get to unleash them all… even quicker than I expected; I felt his hands in my hair and heard that tell-tale growl from the back of his throat that always told me he was right there. I glanced up at him and caught his eye just for a second and his grip on me tightened, my hair tangled up in his fingers, tugging.

I kept my mouth on him, tongue still sliding over him until he was still, the only noise his quick pants for air. I swallowed, of course, and licked my lips, knowing he was watching me without even looking up at him. I moved to his side, pressing myself against him, and put his head on my shoulder.

"Thank… you…" his voice was hoarse.. raspy… and fucking sexy.

I couldn't help but chuckle, though… getting thanked for a blow job? I know I'm good, but that's just funny. I tilted my head to kiss his neck, thinking that I would give or trade anything to have him like this again… all the time. To have access to his body, the way I had with the rest of him. He may have been with Angela for the time being, but he belonged with me. To me.

We were quiet for a while, lying there together – his fingers still tangled in my hair and my fingers sliding over his abs and chest. It felt good, felt right.

He was the first one to say something, "You know what I was thinking about on the way here?"

I didn't have to guess to know it wasn't Angela. "I have no idea."

"My birthday… when you got up on stage and sang…" he told me rolling over just a little to face me.

I smiled, "That was a good night." I'd gone all rock slut, dressed in leather shorts and a barely-there white tank top. I'd gotten on stage at the club his party was at and sang – something I'd have never thought I'd done in public. I sang in the car and the shower and that was it. But I knew he'd love it, so I did it… and I was right – he'd gone crazy.

"You still have that outfit?"

"Yeah… back in Madison…"

"Huh…" He got this far-away expression and I knew he was picturing me in it – or maybe how'd I'd looked when he was in the process of taking it off of me. He snapped out of it and kissed my forehead, "I was so surprised when you did that, but it was awesome… I've always loved that about you, the way you keep my guessing and that you'd do anything for me."

"Yeah, I would." I raised up, propping myself on my elbows and looked over at him. "Would you do something for me?"

"Of course. What?"

"Just answer a question, honestly."

"Alright…" he said it hesitantly, like he knew he wasn't going to like whatever I was going to ask.

He was right, he wasn't going to like this. Hell, I wasn't going to either… but it was something I needed to know. If he was going to tell me that he was in love with me… he at least owed me the truth on this, too.

I took a breath, like I was trying to prepare myself for the question. "Were there a lot of girls when we were together? Like, when you were gone?"

He cringed, visibly, which somehow made me feel better, like he at least felt bad about it now when he was getting called on it. I knew there had been, or at least I'd always suspected it, but now… if there was any shot of us together again… I was going in with both eyes wide open.

"Yeah… there were… too many. But… any more than just you was too many. And I'm sorry about that. I really am. I was sorry about it then, too, but I was young and lonely and had plenty of opportunities and I just … took them. But… it's different now. I've been faithful to Angela… I needed to see if I could do it… and I have…except for you. You're the one I can't say 'no' to."

I'd been about ready to cry when he was talking – actually hearing him say it hurt more than I'd been expecting – until the last thing he said. I blinked a few times, willing the potential tears to stay where they were and looked over at him.

"I'm sorry, Rose. If I could take everything back, I would. I'd do everything differently. I know… you're the one I'm supposed to be with. I know it now. I knew it then, I just… wasn't ready for it … wasn't strong enough to handle it, I guess. I'm sorry I put you through all this and that it took me so long to be able to just say it. I thought I'd be able to handle it.. having you around here and if you'd moved on … maybe I'd have moved on more than I realized. But you didn't and I didn't.. and… maybe we weren't supposed to, really. If there's something I can do to make it right now, tell me and I'll do it." While he was talking, his arm had come around me and he pulled me to him, hugging me against his chest.

The tears were back and they were falling… I was happy and I was sad. I was happy because it felt like a dream – we were together and he was telling me exactly what I wanted to hear. I was sad because the better part of me remembered he still had a girlfriend… that was in the hospital, having a fairly risky surgery. She was having her heart cut open… and I was giving her boyfriend head. If that didn't send me straight to hell, I didn't know what would…. But I didn't care. I was crying for her, for me, and everything I wanted.

"Rosalie… baby, don't cry…" he said, brushing his fingertips over my cheeks.

"I can't help it! I'm happy and I feel fucking guilty." I said, sniffling.

He looked a little distraught himself, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"

I put my finger to his lips, shushing him. "I feel guilty that I don't feel about it. I want this. I want you."

"I need to see her. I can't… break up with her right now, though."

"I know."

He looked over at the clock and then back at me. "I'll go see her later. I probably couldn't get in yet, anyway… and I'm not ready to let you go."

I draped myself across him, closing my eyes as his arms wrapped around me, more than willing to let him hold me as long as he wanted.

-:-

I wasn't surprised when I woke up and he wasn't there. I'd thought more than once over the course of the night that whatever had happened was too good to be true… too good to last. I got up and showered, and went to find some appropriately self-indulgent music to get ready by, to hopefully get this out of my system enough to go to work and function properly.

"And it is breakin' me down, watchin' my world spin around, while my dreams fall down, is anybody out there? Can anybody out there hear me? 'Cause I can't seem to hear myself... Can anybody out there see me? 'Cause I can't seem to see myself... There's gotta be a heaven somewhere, can you save me from this hell? Can anybody out there feel me? 'Cause I can't seem to feel myself, losing my way... keep losin' my way."

This song seemed particularly appropriate for my mood, and really, my life to this point. You know, other than the fact that it's about a crack addict... It has just been rather obvious that my world has completely fallen apart and not even I know what to make of it. The paths I'd been on previously, and the one I'm apparently headed down... None of it made sense anymore.

I stood in the closet, singing along and trying to figure out what to wear. I felt like I had a certain standard to uphold working at a tattoo studio – I wasn't covered in visible ink, I should at least do a little something to look like I belonged there. I didn't have the inclination to be particularly creative and was pulling out tiny cut-off jean shorts and an Ed Hardy tank when I was startled to hear, "I knew a girl named Rosalie, I guess you could say she was a sex fiend…" being sang to me.

I turned around to see Emmett standing behind me, looking as surprised as I was.

"You're up!" he said, right as I was saying, "You're back!"

"I have to work…" I said.

"Oh, damn. I thought you'd be sleeping still. I wanted to sneak out and bring you breakfast in bed." He held up a bag, proving he'd been out shopping. "strawberry frosted donuts…"

I had to smile… and then grab him and pull him to me for a kiss, smooshing the bag of donuts between us in the process. Yes, he'd left, but he'd gone to get something he knew I loved… and he came back and that was what really mattered. And honestly, he was probably tastier than anything in that bag.

The bag got dropped and his hands came around me, grabbing my ass and lifting me up against him and turning to press me into the door frame, as he kissed me back roughly.

I wrapped my legs around him and moaned… loudly. I couldn't help it. I missed everything about him, but right now, this was the kind of thing I missed most – the intensity of everything we felt and caused each other to feel.

He stopped kissing to bite and suck at my neck, mumbling against me, "This was a bad idea…"

"What? Why?" I whimpered, afraid he was going to stop.

"You're never going to make it to work now," he said, just before his lips met mine again and I became dangerously close to forgetting everything.

My head hit the wall behind me from the force of the kiss and I couldn't have cared less about that, but it did remind me, fuck, I have to go to work.

He started moving down my neck again, going back to the same spot he'd just been lingering in, nipping lightly and sucking.

"EMMETT! You cannot give me a hickey!" I yelped, starting to laugh.

He gave me a classic Cullen smirk, "But they look so good on you… and you've never complained before…"

He let me slide down the wall and get my feet back on the ground. I told him, "Later. You can mark me however you want to… later. I gotta go to work."

He kissed the top of my head, "I know. I have to go see Angela."

Have to. Not "I want to or I need to" but "I have to". I really was fucking things up completely for them… and I knew it should bother me… but I was selfish. I wanted him, and had already accepted that the person getting hurt this time was not going to be me.

I straightened my clothes back up, making sure they hadn't gotten somehow splattered with custard and tried to take a few deep breaths. I was fine. I did not need to drag him back into the closet and demand that he ravage me.

Yeah, right.

-:-

I'd left the house with a smile on my face and my heart still beating hard from the kiss he'd given me at the door. It lasted all the way until I got to the studio and Jacob had looked me up and down, suspiciously.

"I think someone got lucky last night." He said, smirking.

I smirked back, "Something like that."

"The ex?"

"Yeah… hopefully not an ex for long, though." I hopped up on the stool behind the counter and checked the schedule for today and saw a note that said, "Rose wins".

"Rose wins what?" I asked.

Paul appeared from the back, "You won the tattoo bet."

"OH! The girl with the neck tattoo?"

"Yeah, she came after you left yesterday, you were dead-on." Jacob told me.

I jumped up and did a happy dance, causing both guys to laugh. "I was kinda upset yesterday, I thought I had no skills at all."

"Nah, we figured you'd win. Girls know everything." Paul said.

"She can't get the cover-up for another couple of weeks, she wants a black rose or something… so, yeah, that cash is yours…" Jacob told me.

"I don't want the money… I'll just gloat that I was right." I said. I wasn't about to take money away from someone for doing a job, but it did give me an idea. "However… you're kinda open today, anyone want to give me a tattoo?"

"Oh hell yes!" Jacob volunteered immediately. "Where? Please tell me you're going to take some clothes off."

I laughed, "I don't know where yet, let me find my design first."

Jacob was rubbing his hands together, looking kind of devilishly excited, and Paul just shook his head and disappeared into the back again. I got online and went to find a good picture of what I wanted… something I'd probably always kind of had in the back of my mind.

I printed something out and went to show Jacob, pointing out what I'd want different. He quickly made a sketch based on what I'd told him that was just perfect. I would never cease to be amazed at abilities of artistic people, especially since I had no talent at all.

"Soo… where's it going?" he asked, not-so-subtly eyeing my midsection.

I thought about it for a moment, trying to imagine where it would look best when I was naked. I knew exactly where it should go and pulled my shirt off.

"Hot damn!"

I laughed at Jacob's enthusiasm and told him to just go get the ink.

-:-

Almost two hours later I was carefully pulling my shirt back down after examining Jacob's work in the mirror. It looked even better on me than I had imagined. He'd inked three lines inside of an intricate celtic knot. The first was a V, the second IV, and the third, III. Each roman numeral corresponding with the numeric order of Emmett's initials. When we'd been dating we joked about getting each other's names tattooed on us, and I'd told him he could do XVII. XII. VIII. So that if we ever broke up, no one but him would know what it meant. 18.12.8. Rosalie Lillian Hale.

I felt kind of giddy the rest of the afternoon, partly from that new decoration high and that I couldn't wait to show it to Emmett when I got home. I'd thought of him all day… mostly in X-rated ways, but a few times to wonder how things were going at the hospital. I wonder if she'd been surprised or if she'd been secretly hoping he'd come. What her parents had said to him… had they ever met before?

The day passed quickly enough and when I was headed back to the house, I called Emmett to see what his plans were. He didn't pick up the phone, which I thought was odd, but he could, plausibly, still be at the hospital. It seemed unlikely, though. I stopped to buy more of the A&D stuff for my tattoo and got back to the house, pulling my shirt off as soon as I was inside and knew Emmett wasn't home.

I went into the bathroom, piling my hair on top my head and clipping it up so I could see where I was going to try to smear the pet gel. It was harder than I'd thought it would be to reach the whole tattoo on my own. Emmett would be in charge of smearing for the next couple days. I finally managed to cover most of it and pulled on a tank top that left most of the design exposed. I kept glancing over my shoulder to admire it… very sexy.

I was hoping Emmett would have called and asked if I wanted anything for dinner, but thus far… no luck. I heated up the oven for a frozen pizza and went to see what was on tv.

I'd dozed off on the couch halfway through my pizza, causing me to miss part of the "House" marathon I'd been so excited to find. I woke up to the sound of Emmett laughing, and sat up, wondering how long he'd been there. "Hey…"

"Hi. I finished your pizza… sorry."

"It's okay. How was… it?" I asked, moving to let him sit beside me, then leaning against him.

"Weird. Awkward," he said, resting his head on mine.

"Why?"

"Her parents were there and that was just weird… what do I have to say to them? She was barely awake… I mean, it was good she got out of it okay and everything, but she's all groggy and I could tell she was happy to see me, but it's not like we could talk and I don't know what I'd say to her anyway… it just felt so weird." He stopped talking and sighed. "I wanted to come home. I didn't want to be there. How bad is that?"

"That would have been awkward for almost anyone. It's not just you."

"It was bad that I would have rather been here with you." He tilted his head to kiss my temple. "I thought about you all day."

"About all of me or just parts of me?" I asked, turning to face him.

He laughed, "An equal amount of both?"

"It's okay, I did the same thing." I confessed. I watched him lie back on the couch and then put his hands on my waist, moving me to where he wanted me… lying on top of him. I situated myself, hip to hip, chest to chest and nuzzled into his neck.

We lay together, still and quiet for a while until his hands started roaming. He started pulling my tank top up, and nearly had it off when his fingertips brushed over part of my puffy, sticky tattoo. "What'd you do?"

I raised up and pulled the tank the rest of the way off and turned for him to take a look. I felt his fingers trace around it, and finally he said, "It's awesome, Rosalie…"

The way his voice trailed off made it sound like more of a question, like there was something else coming. "But…"

"But nothing… it's a great tattoo..." He leaned in and kissed my neck just above where the tattoo began. "Is it … it's me, isn't it?" he asked, softly.

I shivered and nodded.

"Can we have… I mean… can we do it again?"

I looked at him, wondering what he meant. Was he asking for sex or something else? "Can you be more specific?"

He kissed across my shoulder, "Can we be us again? Have a relationship?"

"We have a relationship now… and we've always been 'us'… just in different ways." I told him.

"I just meant, I didn't know if you'd really try it… or were ready for that."

His hand covered mine, and his fingers slipped in between mine.


	19. Chapter 19

I smiled as Emmett helped me out of the car and in to the spotlight. He was opening his newest location in New York City, and it was his biggest venture yet. It took two whole years to complete when you factored in all the renovations and additions they made to the actual structure. Shortly after he broke up with Angela, he made the purchase with Edward and just decided to dive in.

I wish I could say their break up wasn't messy... But then I'd be lying. It took Emmett a while to recover completely from the drama, (some days I'm still not sure he's completely over it..) And I think that's why he decided to take on such a huge project. When Emmett finally broke up with her, Angela in a bitter scorned-ex rage, called every tabloid she could get the number for playing the victim card she's ever so great at. (I REALLY think Irina had some influence with this decision.) Some of the magazines printed particularly distasteful stories, including pictures that really shouldn't have been shared outside of their relationship.

I recommended Emmett take legal action for defamation of character, or at least lible, but he refused, insisting he didn't need to put her through any more. Personally, I wanted to cut the bitch myself, but that may have reflected badly on myself and more so on Emmett. When it all finally died down, we went about our lives. At least 6 of the inactive 'I Hate Rosalie' websites popped up again, and I'm occassionally yelled at on the street, but I'd reached a point where I didn't care anymore.

All the yelling and internet trash talking wasn't going to change our relationship. Emmett loved me and I loved him. I never planned on being with him again, but what's meant to be will be, I suppose. Being with him was more of a gravitational pull then anything else; the catastrophe when we were apart proved as much. Things with him weren't always perfect, no relationship ever is, but that's the beauty of it. We had the normalcy of a regular couple. We fight and we make up, I tell him when he's annoying the fuck out of me, and he tells me when I'm being a bitch. I think that's good though, having heated arguments and fights. If we stopped fighting, I would worry. It would just mean one of us had given up.

Though tonight...

Tonight none of that crossed my mind. I took Emmett's hand as we walked toward the door, stopping for pictures along the way. I had a smile the size of the solar system, and with the man that I loved by my side, nothing in the world could have made me happier. We turned for each photographer trying to get a shot of us, neither of us phased by the constant yelling and flashing lights.

"Emmett, Emmett! Look over here!"

"Rosalie, look this way for the camera!"

"Rosalie, where'd you get the ring?"

I said nothing, my smile never falling.


End file.
